She has long hair to be dark skinned

[wanabe]

3 other girl friends and myself were sitting down eating in the mall yesterday. 2 of them have a light-golden brown complexion, while myself and the other girl are about a medium brown. One of the light brown girls, was trying to describe this girl at school...and she said
"You know Tracy...she's a Junior...Education major....from New Jersey...she has long hair, for a dark skinned girl."

My friend and I stopped...and asked her to repeat what she said...and she did! Then the other light skinned chick agreed...trying to justify by saying that the lighter you are..means you have "more white in you" and therefore your hair would be longer than a dark skinned person.

I was sooooo HEATED when I heard, my two FRIENDS say this. I thought that it was the most ignorant statement. I can't believe black people are still saying these sort of things in the year 2001.

To make a long story short..we put them in their place, and they know not to say anything like that ever again.

Has this happened to any of you? How did you handle it?

[RRMDQT]

I so hate when people make ignorant comments like the one you mentioned. I especially hate the one "You know black people attract a lot of heat." I understand that it's supposed to be a joke but a lot of people actually think it's true. I mean really, if you stood in a big group with a bunch of white people it would be hot too. But I can on and on about that.
I wrote an article for my campus newspaper 2 years ago on comments that black people make. Like I've been told a few times that I have "nice features". I asked what they meant by that and they'll be like "You know, for a dark-skinned person." What makes these people think that everyone that is dark-skinned is straight from Africa? I don't understand. I remember when a fairly dark-skinned friend of mine saw this guy that she thought was cute. She said, "He's too cute to be dark-skinned." Do you know I was too shocked by what this girl said. First of all she is about 1/2 a shade lighter than him and why does it have to be an issue, why couldn't she just say he was cute and leave it at that.
And another thing the whole "good"/"pretty" hair thing is so old. What makes someone with naturally straight hair that wears it in a ponytail everyday so pretty? When I say someone hair is pretty it's because it looks healthy and has a cute style, not because of its texture. When I would question my friends about the issue they wouldn't know what to say, only thing they could say was "you know what I mean..." I'm like no I don't know. After a while my friends stopped making the comments and I felt a sense of pride because I helped to change the way they viewed things.
It's sad that hundreds of years after slavery, many black peoples minds are still enslaved. Whether it's the way someone looks, talks, their body type, whatever, blacks are always trying to separate other blacks. Until we understand that self-hatred has been embedded into our minds, hundreds of years ago by white slave owners to keep us divided we'll never become united as a race.
The only thing we can do is to teach our children to love each other and not to try to distinguish light skinned vs dark-skinned. Sorry this is so long but I wish people would try to escape the ignorance.We really need to move on, but that won't happen until we accept our past ignorance.

[dst3800]

Hey girl! No, this has never happened to me, but one of my very best friends has a dark complexion and people always go up to her and say something like, "You are very pretty for such a dark girl" We just look like, WTF is that supposed to mean? Like, if you're dark skinned, you can't be pretty or something?!?! And whew! When I say she gets HEATED!!! I mean she gets angry! It has happened so often that she is trying to learn how to ignore people like that; and most times she doesn't get as upset anymore, but it is still offensive when people make such idiotic statements. We just look at them like, you are so stupid, and walk away without commenting. Then it's their turn to look confused...

[Special1920]

This has been happening to me since around 1981, which is when weave started being popular and worn here in Chicago.
Everyone asking me is that your hair? Or you got on a weave? My hair is very thick and long and jet black(starting to get some gray). I find it insulting as if dark women hair won't grow.

[Ideal08]

I've gotten both. I've been told that I was pretty to be darkskinned, on numerous occasions. I just take the hair compliments in stride, but they tick me off, too. I guess you just get used to it. I've heard this stuff all of my life.

I'll never forget, when I was still in high school, me and my best friend were boy hunting, and this car drove by. So I said, "Was he cute?" She said, "No, he was dark-skinned." I asked her wth she meant by that and she told me that dark-skinned people just weren't as attractive as lighter skinned people. PISSED ME OFF!!! And she STILL thinks this. I just shake my head. We don't even talk about it, but I let her know that I never forgot that mess.

It is very disheartening to know that people, OUR PEOPLE, still have this sick mentality.

[HopefulProspective]

It is sad, but some blacks think that way. I call it a generational curse. And usually their information is all screwed up. I have a lighter brown complexion and I have long (to the middle of my back) thick hair, not to mention VERY course. My mother who is 3 shades darker than me has a much softer grade of hair than I do.

When people see my mother and me, they usually ask dumb questions like, "Is that all your hair?" or "You must be mixed?"
I even had a gay guy come up to me in the mall asking me was my hair "mine." When I said yes, he stuck his hand up the back of my head to "feel for tracks." Mind you, I didn't know this guy. I politely told him if he touched me again, I would cut his ____ off!

PEOPLE!!

[Ideal08]

Originally posted by HopefulProspective
he stuck his hand up the back of my head to "feel for tracks."

This dude I used to work with did that to me!!!! I used to cut my hair short, like the chick from Total. Anyway, I started letting it grow out. And people just didn't believe it was my hair (isn't that a trip?). Mind you, my hair is NOT that long. Only about an inch or two past my shoulders. He was lucky he was cool with me, lol, he mighta got cussed out.

[#1 Leading Lady]

Originally posted by Ideal08


This dude I used to work with did that to me!!!! I used to cut my hair short, like the chick from Total. Anyway, I started letting it grow out. And people just didn't believe it was my hair (isn't that a trip?). Mind you, my hair is NOT that long. Only about an inch or two past my shoulders. He was lucky he was cool with me, lol, he mighta got cussed out.

I had some binches try to call me out at a hair show and when they found out it was all mine they felt like shizzle forizzle. My hair grows long but it is real fine like the new yaky weave ( I got braids now so I know the weave line ) but I dislike when people act like dark skinned people have less attractive and quality features than lighter skinned peeps!

[DELTAQTE]

Now I feel y'all on what you guys are saying on the ignorant statements, there is no need for that(I'm a brown skinned sista myself).

BUT

Why are you guys offended when someone asks you if that's your hair? Black women do ROCK the weave quite often, there's nothing wrong with that, but I do have a very low percentage of friends who hair is ALL ENTIRELY their hair. Usually my long haired friends throw in a track or two, just to make it look fuller.

And it damn sure don't help when I see HOODROACHES wearing the most AWFUL weave hairstyle imagineable! One girl who works with me has her weave shaped like a gold telephone, right on the top of her head. talking bout "I put that on der cause I'm always on the phone gurl" I was thinking " Girl you need 1-800-NEW-DO. Another girl downtown has the letter T on top of her head with fake diamonds in it! Can we say TACKY?

But I don't agree to anybody touching or feeling in your hair, if someone did that to me, they would get knocked out Chris Tucker style.


QTE

[Steeltrap]

Originally posted by DELTAQTE
And it damn sure don't help when I see HOODROACHES wearing the most AWFUL weave hairstyle imagineable! One girl who works with me has her weave shaped like a gold telephone, right on the top of her head. talking bout "I put that on der cause I'm always on the phone gurl" I was thinking " Girl you need 1-800-NEW-DO. Another girl downtown has the letter T on top of her head with fake diamonds in it! Can we say TACKY?

QTE

ROFLMP&GAO at this! I've got another new word for my vocabulary with "hoodroaches."
I can't believe folks have no shame and go around with their "hurh" like that. Reminds me of those "hair wars" hair shows, like in Detroit.


ST

[Ideal08]

Originally posted by DELTAQTE
Now I feel y'all on what you guys are saying on the ignorant statements, there is no need for that(I'm a brown skinned sista myself).

BUT

Why are you guys offended when someone asks you if that's your hair? Black women do ROCK the weave quite often, there's nothing wrong with that, but I do have a very low percentage of friends who hair is ALL ENTIRELY their hair. Usually my long haired friends throw in a track or two, just to make it look fuller.

QTE

So now, that many women are rockin' weaves, why everybody gotta have one??? So to think that it's not my hair is an insult. I take good care of my hair, so that it'll remain healthy, and after all of that, these peeps have the NERVE to ask if it's real?? That's rude and uncouth, to boot. The first time someone asks, that's cool. But after a while, it just gets tiresome.

I'll get personal here for a minute, lol. The women on my father's side of the family have NO HAIR. They all wear wigs. My mother's side, on the other hand, we have long hair. I have always feared losing my hair or something, and end up having to wear a wig or a weave. So when people ask me if my hair is real, I get a little ticked, lol.

Where do you work where these chicks can come to work like that?? I mean a telephone???? Oh, come on now.

[HopefulProspective]

It doesn't offend me when someone askes is my hair mine. But after I have said YES, some don't believe me and do things like that guy and stick his fingers in the back of my head, I am ready to start cuttin' folks up in here! (RELAX, RELATE...RELEASE)

Even though I have long, thick hair, I have worn a track or to myself. I am too much of a chicken to dye my hair, so I use the tracks for a little splash of color. If I don't like it, I ain't stuck with it.

[DELTAQTE]

I'm an on-air DJ, so our radio station is pretty lax when it comes to clothing. We got folks with orange hair to piercings. It's a huge reason why folks want to work there, cause we really don't have a dress code(cept when the big bosses come ).


I do have a lot of friends with real long hair, but even I admit when i see women on the T.V. screen with long hair, I look REAL hard to see if it's all theirs. Even Aaliyah, whose hair was beautiful as all get out, added pieces to her hair.



QTE

[Beauty1913]

Originally posted by DELTAQTE
Now I feel y'all on what you guys are saying on the ignorant statements, there is no need for that(I'm a brown skinned sista myself).

BUT

Why are you guys offended when someone asks you if that's your hair? Black women do ROCK the weave quite often, there's nothing wrong with that, but I do have a very low percentage of friends who hair is ALL ENTIRELY their hair. Usually my long haired friends throw in a track or two, just to make it look fuller.

And it damn sure don't help when I see HOODROACHES wearing the most AWFUL weave hairstyle imagineable! One girl who works with me has her weave shaped like a gold telephone, right on the top of her head. talking bout "I put that on der cause I'm always on the phone gurl" I was thinking " Girl you need 1-800-NEW-DO. Another girl downtown has the letter T on top of her head with fake diamonds in it! Can we say TACKY?

But I don't agree to anybody touching or feeling in your hair, if someone did that to me, they would get knocked out Chris Tucker style.


QTE

I agree with you. It has even gotten to the point where I don't compliment most women on their hair (by saying "you have very pretty hair") because I am afraid that they will be embarrased if its not theirs. This distinctly happened in the grocery store yesterday...Now, if it is simply a nice style, I will say "that is a nice hair stlye" because a woman can have a nice hairstyle with weave or her natural hair, but if I am not sure if her hair is her own and I think the way its curled is cute or something, I will just keep my compliment to myself. That's unfortunate, but then again, that is the point behind weave, at least I think it is, for people to not be able to tell whether its real or not.

Now about the rude coments about dark skinned women with nice hair, that makes me very angry as well. But, nothing makes me more angry than when someone compliments another person on their hair and the person being complimented feels that they have to explain why it is nice; i.e. "yea well, you know, I gots Innnndian in my fammmmily" or "yea, I have a lot of white in me" and they'll be as black as night. I HATE this! Whenever I can, I try to remind people or educate them that each individual has their own set of genes and DNA combination. That means that regardless of your race, environment, culture, nationality, etc. etc. etc., your hair is going to vary. It doesn't mean you have some other races blood mixed in, it just means you have that certain type of hair. And, actually, if you just pay closer attention from day to day as you move about and see a lot of black women, most of them will have long, beautiful hair. This is not to say that long hair is beautiful because its long, it just should begin to get people out of the subconscious mindset that black women most often and naturally have short hair. Try this, you'll see.

[Ideal08]

LOL @ Innnnnnndian... LOL!! I can hear you usin' your Shanaynay voice, LOL!

I did just remember something, though. Funny how memories pop into your mind...

When I was growing up, the first time someone pulled my hair to see if it was real, I told my mother how mad I was about it. She told me to take it as a compliment if someone EVER compares my hair to a wig. We ain't know nothin' bout weaves back then, so I guess the same applies. Thinking about Qte's post made me think of this. I guess I shouldn't be offended after all. I guess the whole weave thing threw me, lol. If they had said wig, I woulda remembered my mama's words of wisdom. Word association, I'm tellin' ya...