Can Men and Women Ever Truely Be Friends??

Lady Pi Phi · #1 08-19-2003, 02:40 AM

Can they?

Is it even worth pursuing a friendship with a guy or girl that you've had a sexual/romantic relationship with??

If it can, how do you make it work?

PM_Mama00 · #2 08-19-2003, 03:37 AM

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

This explains it all.... and it is sooooooo true.

I have a few guy friends, but at least once the thought of sex has crossed my mind. Read this site... it's crazy.

AchtungBaby80 · #3 08-19-2003, 12:46 PM

I don't know. I have virtually no guy friends because sooner or later, they want to switch to being "more than friends." I personally don't know many guys who want girls as just friends unless they grew up together, but I know that's got to be just around here because I know plenty of guys and girls who are just friends elsewhere.

sigmagrrl · #4 08-19-2003, 12:53 PM

I know that I have guy friends. I think that, at first, for BOTH parties, the attraction is sexual/physical. But it eventually can move past that....I think the problem happens when one of the friends gets a romatic partner and two things could happen:

1) The friend of the opposite sex may wonders if their friend was/is "The One" and gets envious of the romantic partner

2) The friend of the opposite sex gets jealous of the romantic partner of the other friend for taking up their friend's time

3) The romantic partner worries that the friend of the opposite sex wants to be "more than friends" and gets jealous of the relationship b/w the two...

Insecurity is a sunufabiatch!

#5 08-19-2003, 12:57 PM

I don't know, I think it can work.

Two examples from my personal life.....

1) I asked this guy out in college that I had met a few times. We had a couple of classes together, so I struck up a conversation and asked him out. I was shot down

but we still hung out, and he ended up becoming one of my best friends in college. I got over my attraction to him and we had an awesome, completely platonic relationship. Unfortunately we lost touch after he graduated.

2) The person I'd call my best friend now is one of my ex-boyfriends. We dated for 8 months, and it didn't work out... but suprisingly, we got along much better after we stopped dating. We hang out, can talk much more freely, joke around about our dating lives, and he's even going to be standing up in my wedding next year

So I think it really can work!

DeltAlum · #6 08-19-2003, 01:05 PM

Nope.

sigtau305 · #7 08-19-2003, 01:10 PM

yes, defianately.

MattUMASSD · #8 08-19-2003, 01:16 PM

yup it happens all the time.

Optimist Prime · #9 08-19-2003, 01:18 PM

I'm friends with girls.

Optimist Prime · #10 08-19-2003, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltAlum
Nope.

haha

No offence, but its funny that you would be the one to say no.

Lady Pi Phi · #11 08-19-2003, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltAlum
Nope.

What's you're reasoning behind this?

RACooper · #12 08-19-2003, 01:38 PM

Yep...

I can name more than half a dozen from school and another dozen from greek life....

decadence · #13 08-19-2003, 01:39 PM

My 2 cents:

Well of COURSE they can!
I don't understand anyone who says otherwise - I mean they're basically saying they can't/refuse to be friends with 50% of the entire world population simply because that person doesn't have the same underpant contents as them. Puhleese!

But as far as EX-bf's/gf's being all platonic, where there's been intimacy (read discovery channel stuff) that's a different kettle of fish.

PMMama I always thought you were female from your GC id, my bad. Anyway re that site, Jesus does that guy have issues. It all seemed drivel, no offence to you dude. The main idea of the site seemed to be a forum for him to whine that chicks wanted to have intelligent conversation with him only (unlikely to have much chance of success given his deluded ramblings IMO!) while they were intimate with other guys - with tattoos. He might like to look at the possibility "chicks" only wanna be friends with him because he lacks sex appeal

. I lost interest in the site after reading him boast about prostitutes sucking his dick. I doubt they'd be able to find it...

Hootie · #14 08-19-2003, 01:39 PM

I'd have to say no because of personal experiences. I was friends with this guy Jim (the Denver guy) and we dated five years ago, broke up and the friendship thing actually did work...until he broke up with his ex girlfriend and started talking more about US. However the US talk wasn't the same US talk I was having and so all that resulted was a physical relationship and now we don't have at all what I would call a friendship. I even called him on it, and he felt terrible of course....but hmmm, he hasn't made the effort all summer to hang out with me (AS FRIENDS). So obviously this situation isn't going to work out (which is fine by me

).

sugar and spice · #15 08-19-2003, 02:35 PM

I can't imagine anybody answering "no" to this question. There would have to be some significant underlying issues for that to happen. (To clarify, I can see the answer being no on a personal, individual level -- but not on a universal level.)

I've had plenty of guy friends, and although sometimes they want to turn things more than platonic, they can move on pretty easily when I don't want the same thing. Just because somebody is attracted to you isn't a reason to end the friendship.

My very first ex-boyfriend, whom I dated for a year, is now one of my best friends.