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Welcome to our newest member, ahaleypetrooz43 |
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08-19-2003, 02:40 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: "...maybe tomorrow I'm gonna settle down. Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on."
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Can Men and Women Ever Truely Be Friends??
Can they?
Is it even worth pursuing a friendship with a guy or girl that you've had a sexual/romantic relationship with??
If it can, how do you make it work?
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08-19-2003, 03:37 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,807
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http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html
This explains it all.... and it is sooooooo true.
I have a few guy friends, but at least once the thought of sex has crossed my mind. Read this site... it's crazy.
__________________
Proud to be a Macon Magnolia!
KLTC
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08-19-2003, 12:46 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lexington, KY, USA
Posts: 3,185
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I don't know. I have virtually no guy friends because sooner or later, they want to switch to being "more than friends." I personally don't know many guys who want girls as just friends unless they grew up together, but I know that's got to be just around here because I know plenty of guys and girls who are just friends elsewhere.
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08-19-2003, 12:53 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Look over your shoulder, I could be right behind ya!
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I know that I have guy friends. I think that, at first, for BOTH parties, the attraction is sexual/physical. But it eventually can move past that....I think the problem happens when one of the friends gets a romatic partner and two things could happen:
1) The friend of the opposite sex may wonders if their friend was/is "The One" and gets envious of the romantic partner
2) The friend of the opposite sex gets jealous of the romantic partner of the other friend for taking up their friend's time
3) The romantic partner worries that the friend of the opposite sex wants to be "more than friends" and gets jealous of the relationship b/w the two...
Insecurity is a sunufabiatch!
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08-19-2003, 12:57 PM
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I don't know, I think it can work.
Two examples from my personal life.....
1) I asked this guy out in college that I had met a few times. We had a couple of classes together, so I struck up a conversation and asked him out. I was shot down  but we still hung out, and he ended up becoming one of my best friends in college. I got over my attraction to him and we had an awesome, completely platonic relationship. Unfortunately we lost touch after he graduated.
2) The person I'd call my best friend now is one of my ex-boyfriends. We dated for 8 months, and it didn't work out... but suprisingly, we got along much better after we stopped dating. We hang out, can talk much more freely, joke around about our dating lives, and he's even going to be standing up in my wedding next year
So I think it really can work!
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08-19-2003, 01:05 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Mile High America
Posts: 17,088
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Nope.
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Fraternally,
DeltAlum
DTD
The above is the opinion of the poster which may or may not be based in known facts and does not necessarily reflect the views of Delta Tau Delta or Greek Chat -- but it might.
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08-19-2003, 01:10 PM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Posts: 9,324
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yes, defianately.
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Garth J. Lampkin, Diversity and Inclusion Chair, Region 4
Sigma Tau Gamma Fraternity
LetEmKnow!!RollTau!!
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08-19-2003, 01:16 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Washington DC and Dartmouth MA
Posts: 410
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yup it happens all the time.
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08-19-2003, 01:18 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: somewhere in richmond
Posts: 6,906
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I'm friends with girls.
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08-19-2003, 01:18 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: somewhere in richmond
Posts: 6,906
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Quote:
Originally posted by DeltAlum
Nope.
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haha
No offence, but its funny that you would be the one to say no.
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08-19-2003, 01:24 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: "...maybe tomorrow I'm gonna settle down. Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on."
Posts: 5,713
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Quote:
Originally posted by DeltAlum
Nope.
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What's you're reasoning behind this?
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08-19-2003, 01:38 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Calgary, Alberta - Canada
Posts: 3,190
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Yep...
I can name more than half a dozen from school and another dozen from greek life....
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Λ Χ Α
University of Toronto Alum
EE755
"Cave ab homine unius libri"
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08-19-2003, 01:39 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 1,474
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My 2 cents:
Well of COURSE they can!
I don't understand anyone who says otherwise - I mean they're basically saying they can't/refuse to be friends with 50% of the entire world population simply because that person doesn't have the same underpant contents as them. Puhleese!
But as far as EX-bf's/gf's being all platonic, where there's been intimacy (read discovery channel stuff) that's a different kettle of fish.
PMMama I always thought you were female from your GC id, my bad. Anyway re that site, Jesus does that guy have issues. It all seemed drivel, no offence to you dude. The main idea of the site seemed to be a forum for him to whine that chicks wanted to have intelligent conversation with him only (unlikely to have much chance of success given his deluded ramblings IMO!) while they were intimate with other guys - with tattoos. He might like to look at the possibility "chicks" only wanna be friends with him because he lacks sex appeal  . I lost interest in the site after reading him boast about prostitutes sucking his dick. I doubt they'd be able to find it...
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08-19-2003, 01:39 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 4,114
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I'd have to say no because of personal experiences. I was friends with this guy Jim (the Denver guy) and we dated five years ago, broke up and the friendship thing actually did work...until he broke up with his ex girlfriend and started talking more about US. However the US talk wasn't the same US talk I was having and so all that resulted was a physical relationship and now we don't have at all what I would call a friendship. I even called him on it, and he felt terrible of course....but hmmm, he hasn't made the effort all summer to hang out with me (AS FRIENDS). So obviously this situation isn't going to work out (which is fine by me  ).
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08-19-2003, 02:35 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 4,571
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I can't imagine anybody answering "no" to this question. There would have to be some significant underlying issues for that to happen. (To clarify, I can see the answer being no on a personal, individual level -- but not on a universal level.)
I've had plenty of guy friends, and although sometimes they want to turn things more than platonic, they can move on pretty easily when I don't want the same thing. Just because somebody is attracted to you isn't a reason to end the friendship.
My very first ex-boyfriend, whom I dated for a year, is now one of my best friends.
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