Big Bro

[josh8o]

I got my big bro about 2 weeks ago, and I have seen him only once since big bro revealing. My house even had a huge-ass party this weekend (it was a rager) and he was not there. I feel like I made a mistake in picking my big bro.... He is older, and is going to go alum at the end of the school year, but he is never at the house. He wasn't even at the last meeting. I have been thinking that maybe he is "over" fraternity life now. Its kind of bumming me out because a lot of the other guys in my pledge class have started to bond with their big bros, and I feel like I don't even have a chance to really get to know mine. Any suggestions?

[The1calledTKE]

Same thing happend to me. He was tired or fraternty life because he was a senior. I just called him up and we hung out. He even moved into my place until he could move out to Texas to live with his fiance.

[pbpck]

josh-

You're probably right that your Big is "over" the fraternity scene, but just because he isn't an active bro, doesn't mean he can't be your friend. Take the initiative. From my knowledge, the Big/Lil match ups are mutual. So he wanted you as well. In addition, you have joined a brotherhood of many, not of one...so get to know a bunch of the guys. If you end up being close to one, he may potentially "adopt" you. I know that one of my best girlfriends in DG has an adopted Big because hers went abroad right after revealing for 2 years! Find out what your Big likes and find some common ground. You chose him for a reason and maybe he will be your respite from the whole insane Greek scene when you need it.

pbpck

[lifesaver]

Hey man, dont sweat it. I feel your pain. Unfortunately big/little matching isnt a perfect system. I have seen some great matches, and some HELLA matches, i mean where they would get in fights all the time. So you have the extreme. I tend to be a bit of a realist. Of course you want your big to be your best friend/mentor, but it doesnt always work out that way. Its an ideal, not an actual. What I'd reccomend is to make friends with him, but dont expect to be best friends. Look to your pledge brothers for that and sit back, and identify an older brother you totally click with and ask him to be your "step". I did when I was a new member. I am still really tight with my step. Also dont assume that everyone is as tight as you think them to be. And do your part to make sure that you are the best big you can be when you get a little someday. If things still doint click, or you are not learning what you should, dont hesitate to take your concerns to the Pledge Dad. Remember, its his ass on the line, to make sure you are educated in the ways of your chapter. Hes being held accountable too. Chill, and Dont worry it'll all work out.

Best wishes,
lifesaver.

[Optimist Prime]

I think I might be able to help. The brother I got as a big brother was my first choice, but i didn't put him downas my first choice because I thought he didn't like me. (Long story, he is just quiet.) So Iget matched up with him. We hung out on revelation. Didn't see him for awhile, so started callling him and hanging out and now we are going to MYLC together.