Rushing again.. :s

ClassyLassie · #1 04-27-2010, 04:30 AM

I'm worried about rushing this fall as a sophomore because I rushed last year and it didn't work out so well.

I was so excited because I only knew maybe two people going to my school upon entering my freshman year and I wanted to make some new and maybe even lifelong friends.
I went in for round one and everything seemed to go really well. All of the girls I met were really nice and easy to talk to. I admit I can be shy, but I was comfortable and enjoying my self so I wasn't being shy. The next day rolled around and I couldn't wait see what parties I would be attending that night but to my dismay, I was only invited back to 1/4 of the sororities. I was very disappointed but I decided to stick it out and see what happened but I just didn't feel at home and then some other occurrences prevented me from continuing.
I had to wonder what was wrong with me but I was later told ( and of course you can never know for sure what is true and what isn't and what may be true for some people but not others) that the reason I was cut was because of something someone had said I was doing one night the weekend before rush. It wasn't true ( I would never behave as accused, I do have self respect) and I still have no idea why someone would even care to makeup something like that about someone they don't know. Still, who knows what the real reason was.
So I still really want to be a part of a sorority. I would be the very first in my family but they are supportive. I'm just terrified that something similar will happen or I'll look foolish for trying again. I would just like some input.

KSUViolet06 · #2 04-27-2010, 05:17 AM

This really depends on your school.

At some schools, 2nd time PNMs can receive bids just fine.

At other more competitive schools, it is very difficult as both a sophomore and a 2nd timer.

Ask yourself what would be different about you the 2nd time that would yield a different outcome.

Also, you said you didn't like any of those chapters you had left. A lot of times people rush again thinking they're going to get invites from their favorites and have a better outcome the 2nd time.

That doesn't always happen. Heck, you could re-rush and get invited back to the same groups- or even fewer than those. If you're thinking of trying again with the goal of getting invites from certain chapters, I'd rethink it. You need to keep an open mind.

Best of luck to you with whatever you decide.

lovespink88 · #3 04-27-2010, 09:34 AM

OMGWTFBQ KSU where is the pink font?? The world just doesn't feel right!!!

Alumiyum · #4 04-27-2010, 09:58 AM

It depends on what you were accused of, and who you know now. Allow me to elaborate.

If someone made up a memorable rumor, it might still follow you. If you've gotten to know some sorority women over the past year, and feel confident they know enough about you to know the rumor wasn't true, you're probably fine. If it was a boring rumor, like you hooked up with random-frat-boy at such-and-such-party, they probably don't remember it anyway. It also depends on how big your campus/greek life is.

Unless it's going to devastate you if recruitment doesn't go well this time around, try it. You've got nothing to lose. Make every effort to meet sorority women on campus if you haven't already. It's late in the year, but even setting up a study group with a few people in class for exams could help make a good impression.

bostongreek · #5 04-27-2010, 10:12 AM

When I went through rush, I was cut after pref by a group where I had a lot of friends. Following bidday, my friends all told me the reason that I was cut. The kicker? They all told me different reasons. You're right that you will never know the true reason.

HOWEVER, if the rumor really is the reason and is something really bad, I would concentrate on clearing your name. Especially in the age of the internet, you never know how far information can spread. It could potentially affect other areas of your life.

Sorry, this doesn't really answer your question.

33girl · #6 04-27-2010, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClassyLassie

I was very disappointed but I decided to stick it out and see what happened but I just didn't feel at home and then some other occurrences prevented me from continuing.

So in other words, you WERE still receiving invites back from some groups, but you dropped out of rush anyway?

This did two things: 1) it upset the groups who wanted you and asked you back, and 2) just gave more credence to the rumor that was going around.

Now, not only have you been cut by some groups supposedly because of a rumor, but you've ticked off the groups who overlooked it and invited you back anyway. Doesn't sound like you have a really good chance doing this a second time, does it?

Unless the "occurrences" that led you to quit entailed the death of a family member or your being so sick you couldn't get out of bed, you probably should not rush again.

full*hearts · #7 04-27-2010, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClassyLassie

I went in for round one and everything seemed to go really well. All of the girls I met were really nice and easy to talk to. I admit I can be shy, but I was comfortable and enjoying my self so I wasn't being shy. The next day rolled around and I couldn't wait see what parties I would be attending that night but to my dismay, I was only invited back to 1/4 of the sororities. I was very disappointed but I decided to stick it out and see what happened but I just didn't feel at home and then some other occurrences prevented me from continuing.
.

As a future PNM this makes a great deal of difference to me. Since 1/4 is either 1 if there are only four sororities on your campus, or 3 if there are 12. I guess it depends how many groups there are. Anyways, what I am trying to say is that at my time of Recruitment, if I have 3 groups that still want me, I would give them a chance. After all, they probably heard the same rumor, and either didn't believe it, or knew that you were better than that. To me that is worth giving them a chance, but of course, You didn't find out about the rumor til after..

Good Luck.

ClassyLassie · #8 04-27-2010, 05:56 PM

It was four sororities. The other "occurrence" was the death of a family member. I don't think that I ticked off that sorority, they were really understanding and sweet and are still encouraging me to go through again and inviting me to events.
And no, the rumor wasn't that bad and it would have even been true if it were about several of the other PNMs as opposed to myself. I just have a hard time believing that was the reason and even if it was I doubt it was the same reason for all of them.
I have worked on clearing my name but no girls that I have talked to even knew about that besides the one who told me so I guess I should stop worrying about it. I'll just start over except this time I'll be a little more prepared

Alumiyum · #9 04-27-2010, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClassyLassie

It was four sororities. The other "occurrence" was the death of a family member. I don't think that I ticked off that sorority, they were really understanding and sweet and are still encouraging me to go through again and inviting me to events.
And no, the rumor wasn't that bad (it had to do with alcohol) and it would have even been true if it were about several of the other PNMs as opposed to myself. I just have a hard time believing that was the reason and even if it was I doubt it was the same reason for all of them. The person who actually told me that was a girl from the sorority that didn't cut me.
I have worked on clearing my name but no girls that I have talked to even knew about that besides the one who told me so I guess I should stop worrying about it. I'll just start over except this time I'll be a little more prepared

In this case it sounds like your last recruitment probably will not effect your next one. But...
-Still make an effort to make friends with as many sorority women as you can, from every sorority. You don't want to come off as desperate, obviously, but talking to the ones that are in your classes or your dorm hall is a good start. Try to start a study group for exams. Just be friendly and be outgoing so they'll remember you in the fall.
-Don't bring up the rumor any more, because if most of them don't remember it, you don't need to clear your name.
-Be open minded. Really consider every sorority. And make sure you won't be devastated if it doesn't go well. You really probably won't ever know why you were dropped from a sorority and a lot of times it isn't personal, so just remember that. Good luck and have fun!

ClassyLassie · #10 04-27-2010, 06:37 PM

Thanks so much! And I have no hard feelings against anyone, when you have a ton of people you don't know much about, you have to work with what information you have. Maybe it's accurate, maybe it's not, either way you gotta do what you gotta do. As for the one who didn't cut me, I didn't feel a strong connection BUT I had only made it to the second rush party so there is still much to be determined. I feel much better now, I just wish I had known about GC before last year. I can't wait for August to roll around and give it another shot!

33girl · #11 04-27-2010, 07:20 PM

Still confused.

You had 4 sororities left who invited you back to events (i.e. there are 16 sororities total on the campus) or there are 4 sororities total on the campus?

If there are 4 sororities total on the campus...that is very weird because there was someone else on here who had an unsuccessful rush at a 4 sorority campus.

ClassyLassie · #12 04-28-2010, 05:19 PM

Yea it is four total. I think I read another with only four but I think it was a few years old and I can't remember what it was about.

KSUViolet06 · #13 04-28-2010, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClassyLassie

Yea it is four total. I think I read another with only four but I think it was a few years old and I can't remember what it was about.

If you rushed at a school with 4 chapters, and you plan to rush again, I wouldn't count on having a better result the next time around.

I mean, if you went to a school with like 16 chapters and you only got invited back to like 4 of those, I'd say give it another try.

But typically, a 2nd try at a small Greek system doesn't always yield different or better invites.

wpiscared · #14 05-04-2010, 09:43 AM

I had the same problem this past year and I am considering going through recruitment again.

I really want to join XYZ and I've tried my hardest over the year to erase any bad rumors or notions about myself.

One thing I am worried about though is when going through recruitment having to be in the PQR room My roommate from this year is a PQR and let's just say that our personalities/study habits clashed. I'm worried that her trash talking me all this year will translate not only to her sorority but to the other 2 on campus as well.

I don't want to sit in front of that computer screen and see no invites to pref. party again. That hurt too much.

jordang312 · #15 05-10-2010, 01:15 AM

I've been through formal recruitment once before and didn't find a home. But, I'm going through a second time with recommendations and am also wiser about the process and know what to expect, which I believe is a plus because we won't be blindsided like others experiencing it for the first time. I'm excited! My sorority friends are excited for me too! I hope everything works out for you this go round. Good luck!