Gay Dates and Formals

angels&angles · #1 03-23-2010, 11:45 AM

So I've been reading about the girl in Mississippi who is trying to take her girlfried to prom (another topic for another time) and it made me wonder about greek life.

Have the gay members of your groups taken a same-sex date to formal? Was it ever an issue?

For us, we had one member who most people knew was gay, but refused to admit it. It was never really a problem because a lot of us would bring our friends from other groups or independents, as it was easier (and sometimes more fun) than trying to get a male date. We also brought our gay guy friends sometimes. So this girl would bring the girl who was really her gf, and it never mattered.

However, I did notice that the gay fraternity men would always always always bring a female date to their formals, even if they were out and proud.

I was just wondering if anyone had any thoughts on this. I always think you should bring whoever's going to make you happy regardless of gender.

LatinaAlumna · #2 03-23-2010, 12:18 PM

Yes, we've had lesbian sisters bring their S.O.'s or dates to formals and other events. I've never heard anyone question this or make negative comments.

With regard to the gay men in Latino fraternities that I know personally, they have all had positive experiences and received a lot of support from their brothers. There is a perception out there that LGLOs are not very receptive of differences, but after 14 years of membership, I have found our organizations to be among the most inclusive of the Latino groups/associations/organizations out there.

BrandNewAdvisor · #3 03-23-2010, 01:28 PM

We had girls take girlfriends, female friends, gay guy friends (a few times we had both members of a gay couple invited), platonic male friends, boyfriends and it was never an issue.

My boyfriends fraternity had a gay member and when he was dating someone he brought his boyfriend, when he was single he brought a girl. No issues, he got teased for his boyfriend just as much as any of the guys with girlfriends got teased.

AOEforme · #4 03-23-2010, 01:40 PM

Yes, we have and No, it was no big deal.

I've found that if you don't make it a big deal, no one else will either!

angels&angles · #5 03-23-2010, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOEforme

Yes, we have and No, it was no big deal.

I've found that if you don't make it a big deal, no one else will either!

Yes, that's what I've always found. However, I was reading about Constance and her troubles and was AMAZEd at the lengths this school would go to jsut to stop a same-sex couple from going to prom. And I thought that, as a bastion of tradition, GLOs might have the same problems.

I supposed it's partly that the chapters that would have an issue with it probably don't have out members, and --generalization-- the sorts of members who might have a problem with a same sex couple don't really post here (regardless of political leaning, it seems to be a pretty open minded board).

So maybe this wasn't the best place to post this question, although I do think that there must be chapters that would have a problem with it.

AOEforme · #6 03-23-2010, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angels&angles

Yes, that's what I've always found. However, I was reading about Constance and her troubles and was AMAZEd at the lengths this school would go to jsut to stop a same-sex couple from going to prom. And I thought that, as a bastion of tradition, GLOs might have the same problems.

I supposed it's partly that the chapters that would have an issue with it probably don't have out members, and --generalization-- the sorts of members who might have a problem with a same sex couple don't really post here (regardless of political leaning, it seems to be a pretty open minded board).

So maybe this wasn't the best place to post this question, although I do think that there must be chapters that would have a problem with it.

I'm sure you are correct on that.

I also think that's an interesting observation about fraternity formals. I've noticed that is quite common, too. I went as a date with one of my friends to his formal, and his boyfriend helped me do my hair but stayed home.

pshsx1 · #7 03-23-2010, 02:49 PM

Yeah, this past formal was the first time this happened actually. Our then Chaplain brought his fiancee to formal back in October and we even made a toast to them. It was awesome.

When he brought it up to the rest of the E-Board before formal, no one had a problem and was happy that he was comfortable enough to bring him. They looked nice, too. One wore a red shirt with a purple tie and the other did a purple shirt with a red tie and they had matching roses.

rufio · #8 03-23-2010, 08:22 PM

in the past, the gay members of my chapter have typically brought female dates. its not a rule or anything, or frowned on if they brought same sex dates. just how its happened.

VandalSquirrel · #9 03-23-2010, 09:15 PM

I've been to more than one event with a fella who liked the fellas, and they weren't out but everyone kind of knew. In the case of one guy he boyfriend didn't want to go because he wasn't completely out and as much as I want people to live free and who they are; sometimes that has dire consequences in rural areas. There was also the guy who had a boyfriend with crazy jealousy issues and another who hated Greek Life.

I'd like to think that I'm just a fun person who could be ready in less than an hour and there wouldn't be any awkward moments since I knew the real situation.