Has anyone ever resigned as a chapter advisor?

BlueCarnation · #1 08-28-2009, 02:54 PM

I am having a real issue right now, and am strongly considering resigning as an advisor to my chapter. Has anyone ever gone through this? I'm just so torn and don't know what to do. I love my sorority, but did not sign up for what I am dealing with right now.

33girl · #2 08-28-2009, 03:09 PM

Did the dog push you over the edge?

I resigned as a member of a coaching team, not the same thing, just because I felt like I wasn't helping in the least and that fact was making me depressed. It was long distance so obviously that is a very different story.

If you've gotten to the point where you cringe when you see an email or text from them, just wondering what the next mess is going to be, you probably need to take a break for a while.

BlueCarnation · #3 08-28-2009, 03:15 PM

The dog is the least of my concerns.

Yeah, the e-mails make me want to throw my computer in the trash. That's probably a bad sign.

KSigkid · #4 08-28-2009, 03:21 PM

I was an assistant alumnus advisor for my chapter for a little over a year, and resigned at that time. My job was getting more intense at the time, and I was diagnosed with a heart condition (which later necessitated a heart procedure). That combination of circumstances left me unable to contribute to the level I felt necessary.

It worked out well; I explained things to my fellow advisors, district leadership and the undergraduates, and everyone understood my reasons. In my mind, it's better to know when to walk away than to stick with it in any sort of half-hearted manner.

ISUKappa · #5 08-28-2009, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueCarnation

I am having a real issue right now, and am strongly considering resigning as an advisor to my chapter. Has anyone ever gone through this? I'm just so torn and don't know what to do. I love my sorority, but did not sign up for what I am dealing with right now.

Yes. It was not an easy decision, but in the end it was the best for me. I needed a break from the drama and wanted to focus on my family.

Even now, I still miss working with the chapter and interacting with the actives and other alumnae on a consistent basis, but I just tried to get more involved with my local alumnae association.

Best of luck.

Shellfish · #6 08-28-2009, 04:43 PM

I was an advisor for nine years, I think, so I was a bit burned out when I called it a day. I guess that may not be your situation, but no one held it against me for leaving when I needed to. It might help if you could do it between school years or between semesters, giving the rest of the team a chance to line up a replacement. (Best wishes.)

Titchou · #7 08-29-2009, 09:59 AM

Or maybe switch to advising an officer instead of being the chapter adviser - like scholarship or Panhellenic, etc. But sometimes you do have to step away. I've done it twice as an adviser over the years and and twice as a national officer. I am now officially "retired" from the national scene....29 years is enough! (Unless i win the lottery and can quit work and have more time! Some of us never go away - even when we say we have!)

AOII Angel · #8 08-29-2009, 01:45 PM

I think that you should consider what is best for the chapter and what is best for you. Being a chapter adviser is a volunteer position. If the position is causing you or the chapter more harm than good, it is better to resign than continue. I don't think you should feel bad for resigning if you feel you really should. Since we can't know the specifics, I can't give better advice. Have you talked to your regional/(inter)national adviser or officer above you?

WinniBug · #9 08-30-2009, 08:02 PM

I'm having to resign this semester...or at least step down to a less demanding position.
I have a 4 1/2 month old and started back to work a month ago and I don't want anything to suffer - my work, my BabyBug, the chapter, my relationship with my husband, my housework...(plus, Mr. Bug and I are talking about moving next summer, so I won't be around anyways.)
We have a fairly sparse advisory board to start with, so I don't know who I'll be able to find to replace me.

tld221 · #10 08-30-2009, 10:07 PM

i've thought about resigning many a time, but realized that the issues could be resolved if i sought the right help and rededicated myself. sounds hokey, i know. this is only my second year so im definitely still wet behind the ears as far as advising goes.

i just figured stress and doubt comes with the territory until you fully know what youre doing, which i dont expect for a while.

AOII*Azra-elle · #11 10-18-2009, 02:46 AM

I understand a little of what you are going through. I am a new advisor as well, in my 2nd year. Sometimes I think, "Oh geez. What did I sign up for?" But, I know that I have great ideas, that the women look up to me for advice and guidance and then I am okay.

My emails were INSANE!!! I had to go over to gmail and set up a seperate account just for AOII emails. Everything goes there.

Then, I was asked if I would step into the CA position since ours resigned. I wasn't sure what I was doing, and alot of the time I am hanging in by a thread as to what I should be doing. But, I try. That's all I can say. I go higher up if I have a question.

The chapter I advise, is also in it's 2nd year. So, there are ALOT of questions from the collegiate women about various things. Most of the time I refer them to their advisor, and if it's an email I tell them to speak with their advisor and copy the advisor on the email.

Sometimes it takes just re-oiling the machine to get it to work properly. Things were a bit of a mess at the beginning of the year, but the ladies are getting back on track. They have had help from their advisors with this.

You really have to ask yourself what is best for the chapter and yourself. I know that being a CA has upped my workload tremendously. It is alot of work, and even more so for someone so new to advising. I would speak with whoever is above you and voice your concerns. Don't feel bad if you have to step down. You need to do what is best for you and for the chapter.

AGDee · #12 10-18-2009, 09:32 AM

Also, don't feel badly going to your Province/Regional Director.. whoever is above you in the chain of command. They are there to be your resource person and usually have more experience and very little shocks them anymore

I think the biggest part of my job as a Province Director was supporting the Chapter Advisors by being their sounding board, counselor, a person they could vent to, etc. In short, their support system. As an Area Coordinator now, I see my biggest job as doing all that for my Province Directors. The questions and knowledge? Almost every answer is found in a handbook. The support, advice and guidance? That's what you need. Sometimes you just need someone to remind you that the "crisis of the day" isn't really all that important in the big picture. The collegians get so drama driven it's easy to get caught up.

On the other hand, I would rather have a Chapter Advisor resign than to just NOT do her job. If the position is empty, then I know nobody is doing the job. If I simply can't get in touch with her, it can be months before I know how bad the situation really is. You don't do anybody any favors to hold a position when you can't fulfill the responsibilities. I've had women avoid me like the plague when all I really wanted to say to them was "I know this is too much for you right now, let's get this load off of you and onto someone who has time for it". I think they always feel guilty that they haven't been doing anything and think I'm going to ream them out, when, in reality, I really just want them to resign.