Not Keen on Having Kids support thread

[deepimpact2]

I'm a member of another forum and some of us decided to create a thread on there for those who don't want kids, and need a place to vent about inappropriate comments or questions they get when others become aware of that fact. So I thought I might start one on here.

Are there any GCers who know that they don't ever want kids? Do you ever find yourself harshly criticized because of this?

[KSigkid]

My only concern is that this thread could become a bit of a mess - I think there have been threads like this before, and it ends up being more of an "anti-parent" or "anti-pregnancy" thread than a pro-"choice not to get pregnant" thread.

Not saying that this thread will go that way, but hopefully people will be respectful of those who have chosen to have children, as well as those who have chosen not to do so.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by KSigkid

My only concern is that this thread could become a bit of a mess - I think there have been threads like this before, and it ends up being more of an "anti-parent" or "anti-pregnancy" thread than a pro-"choice not to get pregnant" thread.

Not saying that this thread will go that way, but hopefully people will be respectful of those who have chosen to have children, as well as those who have chosen not to do so.

I find that these things are generally more "anti-people who don't want kids" and not the other way around. The people who don't want kids could usually not care less that others choose to have children, but for some reason, it doesn't work the opposite way around.

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I find that these things are generally more "anti-people who don't want kids" and not the other way around. The people who don't want kids could usually not care less that others choose to have children, but for some reason, it doesn't work the opposite way around.

I totally agree with this.

In response to some concerns, I definitely don't want this thread to turn into a bashing of those who want or have kids.

[dreamseeker]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

It is similar to marriage to me. Some people think about marriage and/or kids all of their lives whereas the rest of us are BLAH about it until the timing is right FOR US and we find the one we'd like to make that commitment and blessing with.

AMEN.

i don't really want kids either. i haven't really gotten any negative comments abt it, but my friends do look at me crazy when i say it, and i think that some of them don't think i'm serious.

interestingly enough when i took a class called the sociology of deviance i discovered that women that don't want to have children are considered deviant by society. which is a no-brainer considering that we have been raised to have important life goals such as getting married and having kids.

but *I* don't think i'm missing out on life. rather, i think i'd be missing out if i had kids.

[/my first vent on gc ]

[deepimpact2]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

^^^

Also, while I tend to view pregnancy as an alien lifeform taking over my body and children as inherently selfish creatures taking over my life, my view on these things have changed from how I felt in my 20s. Back then, I was 100% against having MY OWN kids.

It is similar to marriage to me. Some people think about marriage and/or kids all of their lives whereas the rest of us are BLAH about it until the timing is right FOR US and we find the one we'd like to make that commitment and blessing with.

I just wanted to share. To each their own. Vent on, venters.

I love this post. Funny thing is, the first part of it reminds me of a character from an Alice Walker novel. Can't remember the name of the book, but the main character said something similar when she learned she was pregnant.

Corinne Maier wrote a book listing the 40 reasons now to have children. One reason was that children are vicous dwarfs. lol Here is the link to the article about it below:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/...article784948/

[AOII_LB93]

What about those of us who want children eventually, but hate it when others bring their children into situations where they were not invited or welcome? I hate it, but I know it makes me look bad. I like kids, I just prefer them relatively well-behaved.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

What about those of us who want children eventually, but hate it when others bring their children into situations where they were not invited or welcome? I hate it, but I know it makes me look bad. I like kids, I just prefer them relatively well-behaved.

This.

Alot of people assume that just because you get annoyed with kids behaving inappropriately in public or being present in places where they shouldn't be, that you "hate kids."

Not true. I actually like kids. I just don't like (for example) kids kicking my seat at the R rated movie that I paid to see (that they technically shouldn't even be watching).

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I find that these things are generally more "anti-people who don't want kids" and not the other way around. The people who don't want kids could usually not care less that others choose to have children, but for some reason, it doesn't work the opposite way around.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

This.

Alot of people assume that just because you get annoyed with kids behaving inappropriately in public or being present in places where they shouldn't be, that you "hate kids."

Not true. I actually like kids. I just don't like (for example) kids kicking my seat at the R rated movie that I paid to see (that they technically shouldn't even be watching).

Eh...I've seen it both ways. Believe me, I come from a big Italian family, and my wife and I don't have kids, so we've definitely heard the "OMG what's wrong with you?" This is especially since some of my cousins started having kids in their teens.

But, I think you get some level of it working the other way.

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

What about those of us who want children eventually, but hate it when others bring their children into situations where they were not invited or welcome? I hate it, but I know it makes me look bad. I like kids, I just prefer them relatively well-behaved.

Well I would agree with that. I am having a Lia Sophia party at my house tomorrow evening. My invitation stated "No children please" because my house is not baby/toddler/small child proof. I have sharp corners and crystal. Not to mention these kinds of parties are really for adults. Actually I've had to put that on every party invitation in the past two years. If I dont, someone inevitably brings their kids whether it's something like Pampered Chef or casino/Las Vegas themed party.

Back when I was selling The Body Shop at Home I had an open house party and two people brought their kids. They were bored obviously, so they got into trouble. The toddler bumped his head on a sharp corner and tried to get into my cabinet under the sink. Then I got yelled at for having sharp corners and not having a safety tie on the cabinet doors---I was like ummm my kids are 10, 11, and 15 sharp corners close to the ground and getting into cabinets arent a problem for them nor do I take them to parties with me where they could get in trouble. She wasnt happy but I didnt really care. Just because you have kids doenst mean everyone else needs to bend over backwards to accomodate you.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by ThetaPrincess24

Well I would agree with that. I am having a Lia Sophia party at my house tomorrow evening. My invitation stated "No children please" because my house is not baby/toddler/small child proof. I have sharp corners and crystal. Not to mention these kinds of parties are really for adults. Actually I've had to put that on every party invitation in the past two years. If I dont, someone inevitably brings their kids whether it's something like Pampered Chef or casino/Las Vegas themed party.

Back when I was selling The Body Shop at Home I had an open house party and two people brought their kids. They were bored obviously, so they got into trouble. The toddler bumped his head on a sharp corner and tried to get into my cabinet under the sink. Then I got yelled at for having sharp corners and not having a safety tie on the cabinet doors---I was like ummm my kids are 10, 11, and 15 sharp corners close to the ground and getting into cabinets arent a problem for them nor do I take them to parties with me where they could get in trouble. She wasnt happy but I didnt really care. Just because you have kids doenst mean everyone else needs to bend over backwards to accomodate you.

I hear ya....I tell people the same. I yelled at my SIL last christmas because she allowed my nephew to climb up the stairs while she was busy stuffing her face and he fell DOWN those stairs and she tried to tell me I needed to block my stairs...no you need to WATCH YOUR KID.

Funny thing was he must have learned his lesson. I had he and his big brother this weekend and everytime he looked at those stairs he did no try to climb them.

[deepimpact2]

Yay! I love how the thread is moving along.

DS, to answer your question, those things that you listed have never factored into my decision not to have kids. Mine was strictly about how having kids would affect MY life. I want o travel without having to worry about kids. I want to be able to work on building my law practice without worrying about how pregnancy and child-rearing will affect that. I want to be able to continue feeding my purse and shoe fetish without feeling like I need to be spending on my kid.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by deepimpact2

Yay! I love how the thread is moving along.

DS, to answer your question, those things that you listed have never factored into my decision not to have kids. Mine was strictly about how having kids would affect MY life. I want o travel without having to worry about kids. I want to be able to work on building my law practice without worrying about how pregnancy and child-rearing will affect that. I want to be able to continue feeding my purse and shoe fetish without feeling like I need to be spending on my kid.

selfish.....LOL

[AOII Angel]

I don't want kids. I like my lifestyle. If it's selfish, than that's my right to be selfish. I don't need people telling me that I NEED to have children, that I will regret not having children, that I will have no one to care for me when I am old or that I will change my mind. These statements usually come from people who know very little about me but feel that they should counsel me and save me from my "mistake." It's a little rude to say the least.

[CutiePie2000]

http://www.nokidding.net/