Violetgeek's Retro SEC Recruitment Story

[violetgeek]

I’ve been lurking occasionally over the past few years and have enjoyed recruitment stories. Decided it was time to tell mine. It’s a retro story (late 70s) but I promise it’s real (I read the infamous “pink sequined hose ” thread a few weeks ago.) And, as a lead in to fall recruitment, I think there are some lessons that any PNM & parent could learn from my experience.


A little background info. I’m the youngest in fairly large family and have 3 sisters who are Greek – same GLO chapter. There is a good bit of space between us (I’m one of those mid-life babies), so by the time I started college, they had all graduated and were married, All I heard growing up was how their GLO was the best and all the others were 2nd rate. I heard all about their sorority sisters and knew many of them – all the beautiful girls that were in each wedding. I knew who had been cheerleaders / homecoming queens and who married the big man on campus.


We all attended the same SEC College, which I’ll call SECU. They really didn’t give me much advice for Rush other than to dress nice, talk, and have a nice picture on my application. I do remember who they asked to write me a REC for their GLO, but I don’t remember them telling me to get RECs to other groups, or asking anyone to write them. My Mother may have taken care of it, I really don’t know! I really didn’t think I’d be anything other than what they were.


I was VERY shy as a teenager, but I had good grades, an ACT based scholarship, plenty of activities / leadership roles in HS, “good family”, etc. Not great at conversations under pressure – I like to sit back and observe and take everything in before I comment. Very naïve about the entire Rush process.

[violetgeek]

While the town I grew up in was average sized for the state, I was the only person in my graduating class going to SECU that year. I knew several upper classmen and students my age from some clubs I was active in while in HS who were students at SECU. When I attended orientation during the summer I had the coolest counselor who was Greek. I couldn’t wait!


This was a full on frills recruitment – all the GLO members had matching outfits for each party. And even though it was August in the deep south, you dressed for each round. No houses at SECU – each chapter had a dorm suite. Chapter Tour and Coke Parties were held in the Chapter Rooms, Theme was held off campus, Pref mainly in chapter rooms. There were 4 rounds to Rush – Chapter Tour, Coke Party (yes everyone served little bottle cokes – or water), Theme Party, Pref. Everyone went to the 1st two rounds, 4 Theme Parties & 2 Pref Parties. Rush was held the week school started – if I remember correctly, Rush started on Monday, classes on Wednesday, with Bid day on Saturday. There was a rest day in there somewhere I’m sure, maybe on Wednesday the first day of classes.


If you were going thru Rush you moved in a couple of days before all the other students. We had a big meeting the day before everything started where we were broken into groups and had the process explained to us. We didn’t have Rho Chis, just the Junior & Senior Panhellenic members as group leaders – there may have been some advisors too, I really don’t remember. There were probably around 300 girls going thru Rush. It didn’t take long for girls to talk in the dorm at night and the “tent talk” ran rampant.


At my school there were 9 NPC groups (I won’t mention the names, would be pretty easy to guess the school if I did) – 4 groups had been on campus longer than the others; 3 groups had come on during the baby boomer college enrollment (late 60s, early 70s); and 2 chapters had only a few years on campus. I like trees, so I’ll use them as code names.


Oak - One of the older groups on campus and my legacy house. One of my sisters had written a REC for an active member. Reputation – the smart, “best family” girls – top on campus. I had been taught that everyone aspired to be an Oak.

Dogwood - One of the older groups on campus. Reputation – serious girls, but the Chapter was on the decline.

Spruce – another of the old guard. One of my sisters had told me she didn’t care what I went, as long as it wasn’t Spruce. Reputation: beauty queens and “easy” girls.

Cypress – last of the old guard. My Rush Counselor’s chapter. I was a state officer in a youth group and there was a senior in this chapter that had been active in the organization, but we had never met. Reputation: Diverse – some great, smart, involved girls and some that you didn’t “take home to meet Mother”

Red Bud – one of the Baby Boom chapters. One of my best friend’s Mother was a Red Bud and there had been several members of this chapter from my home town. Reputation – fun girls that everyone loved.

Gingko – another of the Baby Boom houses. I knew a Senior in this chapter, but she was a Panhellenic Officer and would not be active during Rush. I knew several girls that were Gingkoes at another college. Reputation – Fighting the Oaks as tops on campus. The girls you took home to meet Mother.

Palm – Baby Boom chapter, didn’t know anyone that was a member of this group. Reputation – party girls and active on campus, but could be snobby.

Pine – one of the newer chapters on campus, and the smallest. Rumor was they never cut anyone.

Sycamore – the newest chapter on campus. New kid on the block with a great national reputation.

Chapter total was around 100. Everyone was at total except the two newer chapters, Pine and Sycamore.

My roommate was rushing – she was a legacy to Oak, but wanted Gingko. There was a girl on my floor whose cousin lived in my home town that was also an Oak legacy – her cousin was a Gingko at another college. Another girl was a legacy to both Oak and Gingko, but she wanted to be an Oak and roomed with a girl whose sister was in the Oak Chapter. I knew another Oak legacy that was dating a friend and a friend from orientation what wanted to be a Spruce. The majority of the girls on my floor were rushing and it seemed that most had their favorite and not everyone wanted Oak, which confused me. You mean everyone doesn’t want to be an Oak?

[FSUZeta]

oooh-this sounds fun!

[Gingerdeltaz]

Darn...I should have waited a while before I started reading this. My interest has been piqued and patience is not one of my better qualities. Already looking forward to the next installment.

[violetgeek]

Day 1 – Chapter Tours. Short tours of the chapter rooms, where there were displays on what each sorority was involved in and info on the GLO. All the members would be in the rooms – singing as the rush group came in and someone would pick you up, then take you around and show you the displays. There were chapter members at each display, but not that many – so a rushee could meet only 3 or 4 members. If I remember correctly the tours lasted maybe 20 minutes or so. Rush groups had around 25 – 30 rushees.


Oak -- I was so excited to go in Oak’s chapter room. Although I had spent time with my sisters when they were in college, I didn’t remember going in the chapter room, although I’m sure I did. It was really pretty and the displays showed how involved and accomplished the members were. One of the displays had pictures illustrating the chapter’s past and there was a picture of one of my sisters!

Dogwood – nice room, but not as nice as Oak’s. There was more information on the GLO than the chapter members – were they not very involved on campus?

Spruce – Room was the nicest, very up to date decoration. Lots of pictures of the beautiful Spruce members – homecoming queen, Miss SECU, cheerleaders. The girls I talked to were nice, but I couldn’t see myself here because of their reputation.


Cypress – ok room and it was obvious the members were involved on campus.

Red Bud – loved them, members were involved in diverse organizations and everyone was so nice – lots of laughing.


Gingko – very formal chapter room, not really my style. They had members who ran lots of the campus organizations. Girls I talked to were real nice and cute.


Palm – very updated chapter room décor and the members where active on campus, but I really didn’t have an opinion.


Pine – such a small chapter and the chapter room seemed barely decorated compared to the other chapters.

Sycamore – more members than Pine and the members were trying so hard to make their mark on campus. More information on their national, but this was only their 2nd year of formal rush.

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by Gingerdeltaz

Darn...I should have waited a while before I started reading this. My interest has been piqued and patience is not one of my better qualities. Already looking forward to the next installment.

Me too. (I will practice patience, I will practice patience . . . )

[violetgeek]

Day 2 – Coke Parties. I believe Coke Parties were around 30 minutes long (could have been 45, I really don’t remember). Rushees entered the chapter rooms to singing and cheers. At some point you were offered either a little bottle coke or water. There was some type of central skit / entertainment, and several songs were sung. Rushees would sit on sofas or chairs and rushers would be kneeling on the floor talking to them.


Oak -- I was super excited to go to my legacy house. I was met by a beautiful girl who told me she was the younger sister of one of my sister’s classmates – I’ll call her Beth. She was a Senior and I loved her! The Oaks were super polished and rotated in and out seamlessly. The small skit and singing were wonderful. I felt like I met half the chapter. I was actually the last girl to leave, my group leader had to come back and retrieve me and all the girls were smiling at me when I left. I was in heaven!


Dogwood – I remember two things about this party. The girls were trying so hard they came across kind of creepy – invading your personal space creepy. And they did a really strange cheer/chant with lots of hand clapping right in the middle of the party. All the rushes thought it was really weird. Did not want to go back.


Spruce – Very upbeat time. I was greeted by a girl from the town next to mine. She was a senior and although we had never met, our Fathers knew each other. I had a great time – she introduced me to lots of girls. And while they had the reputation of being the “beauty queens” and several were drop dead gorgeous, most were just regular girls. Many girls in my rush group were so excited after Spruce and wanted to go back – I wasn’t sure, the girls I talked to were nice but I kept thinking about that reputation in the back of my mind.


Cypress – I didn’t have a connection to the girl who greeted me, but my orientation counselor came by to say hello, and the girl that I had the youth group connection with came to talk to me too. She was really pretty and an officer. I had mixed feelings about this group – some girls interested me, some did not.



Red Bud – again had a wonderful time – lots of laughing and the girls I talked to were really funny. Left wanting to know more about them.


Gingko – had a good time and felt like I met most of the chapter, including the President. But I didn’t talk as well at this chapter – I was nervous for some reason. Their skit was cute and the songs they sang were funny and touching. I left wanting to come back and find out more.


Palm – they had a great skit – very funny, everyone loved it – the best skit of all chapters. But, I didn’t talk to very many girls – they rotated real slow and you could tell who they were rushing and who they weren’t. I really didn’t feel welcomed at all.


Pine – this chapter was so small that there would be 2 or 3 rushees for every member. But, they were very sincere and you could tell they had a good time as a chapter. They didn’t really have a skit like all the other chapters. I didn’t want to go back.


Sycamore – these girls were much more laid back than the other chapters. I really liked the girls I talked to. Again, since they were so new they focused a lot on the strength of their national organization. A Senior I knew from church (we went to different schools) was in the chapter and I didn’t know it. She met me at the door and introduced me to lots of people. I girl in my rush group, Liz, loved the Sycamores. She was from out of state and told me she knew she wouldn’t get into any of the “top” houses and that Sycamore had a great national reputation, better than Oak. (again I was confused – Oak isn’t always top?)


Round two was over! I really don’t remember what we did. I’m sure we had to do some type of ranking – since we could only attend 4 Theme Parties, here’s what I expected to do the next day: Oak, Red Bud, Gingko, Spruce. From the "tent talk" these were the top tier chapters and since I was an Oak legacy, wouldn't all the top groups want me?

[violetgeek]

Day 3 – Theme Parties – hour long parties, off campus. Really big productions with an elaborate skit and food. Mid-morning we all went to the Student Union to pick up our schedule for the night. I was expecting to see 9 invitations. When I looked at my list I had been invited back to Oak (of course), Dogwood, Spruce, Cypress, Pine and Sycamore. Where were Red Bud and Gingko? And not that I wanted to go back, why had Palm cut me? I didn’t want to go back to Dogwood or Pine, so I cut them.

When I got back to the dorm, a girl who lived a few doors down was very upset that she had been cut by her legacy house, Spruce, and was thinking of dropping out. My roommate was going back to Red Bud, Gingko, Oak and Dogwood, and most neighbors in the dorm were happy. All of the Oak legacies I knew were going back.

Spruce – we were driven in cars to their party – all of them black. It was held in an off campus event hall. All the girls were dressed in black, cocktail type dresses and the decorations were very sophisticated. The skit was cute. Rushees sat at 4 person tables. The girl who greeted me at Coke Party met me again and got me seated. She was in the skit, so she couldn’t stay long. After a few minutes it became obvious that only one girl at our table was being rushed and it wasn’t me. Spruces would come to the table and say Hi, but they were only talking to one girl. The other two girls and I started our own conversation. Even if I was invited back to Spruce for Pref, I wasn’t interested. I was really turned off by their behavior -- if they weren't interested in us, why had we been invited?


Oak – we were taken in the member cars to a local country club for the party. All the decorations were wonderful, the food was great and the skit was almost professional. Rushees were seated at 4 person tables. Once again I talked to so many girls, really did feel like the entire chapter. But, I noticed that girls would come to the table and talk to me, but barely say hello to the other girls at the table. What was up with that? One girl was almost in tears because she was basically ignored, just like the Spruces. I was disappointed but I didn’t care. I wanted to be an Oak so much and couldn’t wait until Pref. I told Beth I wanted to be an Oak. (of course we had been told not to do this)

Cypress – their party was in a church fellowship hall. It was decorated nicely and once again we sat at 4 person tables! Their skit was cute and I figured all of us at my table were being rushed because everyone was talked to, by many girls. I had a good time, and I liked several girls, but as I looked around, I just didn’t feel anything special.


Sycamore – their party was also in an event hall. They had a cute skit – not as polished as Spruce and Oak, but they were very sincere. I talked to lots of girls, everyone at my table did! Liz from my original rush group was totally in love with the Sycamores and told me during the car ride back she had told me she had committed to them. I liked the girls, but I didn’t feel that strongly about them, at least not like I did for the Oaks.


I'm sure we did some type of ranking when we all met back on campus. I expected to received invites back from all 4 groups. Tomorrow would tell...

[violetgeek]

Finally, the big day was here – Pref Parties! I went to the Student Union to pick up my invitations, got my envelope and I had been invited back to:






Sycamore & Cypress




What, where was Oak? I was a triple legacy, how could they cut me? I had met all those girls, how could they cut me? I managed to get back to my dorm room before I started crying. I called my Mother, crying into the phone “they cut me, they cut me” – she couldn’t tell who it was! I was the stoic child, not the one who cried and got upset. She told me I had to go to the parties; that I couldn’t drop out. We had been told not to talk to members of any group, so I couldn’t talk to my sisters – my Mother was the conduit. I was in shock to say the least.



When my roommate got back (she was going to Gingko and Red Bud) we started asking others where they were going. I found out several other Oak legacies had been cut. And the Oak/Gingko legacy had been cut by both. (She said that was a mistake and that it was going to be “fixed” that she was meant to be a Gingko.)


My roommate and a couple of others told me to go to Pref and that I didn’t have to accept a bid. So I got ready and went.


Cypress – Pref was in their chapter room. I was nice to the girls I talked to, but my heart really wasn’t in it, and I think they could tell.



Sycamore – Pref was at the house of an Alumna. A really neat, restored Victorian house that I loved. The girl from my church and another girl I had talked with at every party preffed me. We were given pillows with the Sycamore badge on it to hold during the ceremony. I was touched by their sincerity.



When we got back to campus it was time to make our final choices. I had already made up my mind, holding out that there had been some type of mistake, and that my sisters could make it all right. I suicided Oak. Needless to say, I got the dreaded call the next morning. I was there when my roommate’s bid to Gingko was slipped under the door and wished her well as she went off to meet her new sisters.

[violetgeek]

I talked to my sisters several times over the next few days. The only explanation they ever gave me was that the Oaks had more legacies than bids and had to cut a good number of their legacies. I personally knew of 3 others, including the girl dating my friend, so I understood intellectually, but not emotionally. I was devastated – what was wrong with me that only the “bottom” chapters on campus wanted me? I had always been very confident in my abilities and now I was doubting myself.

I had a COB offer from the Sycamores and was told they really wanted me, but I turned it down.

I decided I would just have to rush the next year and tried to get as involved as possible on campus. On my floor there were 7 Gingkoes, 4 Oaks, several Spruces and several Palms. The girls next door had gone Red Bug and Dogwood – both their first choices. The Oak/Gingko legacy got a bid to Gingko, so I guess there had been some type of mistake made! As the semester progressed, I became friends with all of the Gingkoes and Red Buds on my floor, and various Dogwoods and Sycamores. But, only one of the Oaks and she roomed with a Gingko. My friend who dated the Oak legacy had his heart broken when she dumped him. She told him she had to focus on getting all the Oaks to want her in their chapter and she wouldn’t have time to date him.


Second Semester starts and in Mid-January there was an announcement. There would be informal rush and all chapters would be participating! There would be one night of formal parties that everyone had to participate in, then personal invites to informal meetings. My roommate encouraged me to participate, so I signed up.

The formal parties were very short – maybe 30 minutes. There were maybe 45 girls going thru – only one party for each chapter. When I went to Oak I talked to the sister of the one Oak I had been friends with (she had not come back to SECU for 2nd semester) and a freshman whose older sisters had been in the chapter with several of my sisters. They were very nice to me and in the back of my mind I still hoped they were interested. At the other chapters the girls I was friends with came and talked to me and made me feel welcome.

The next morning I received a phone call from the Gingkoes inviting me to go out for ice cream with a group and I accepted. As I walked to class that day, I saw a girl walking a head of me and I remember thinking – she looks so confident, I just want to be like that. When I went to the ice cream parlor, there sat the same girl – she was a Gingko! I had a great time and all the girls were really nice. That night my roommate and several other Ginkgo friends sat me down and asked me if I would accept a bid from them – they point blank told me that I wasn’t like the Oaks and that I would fit in perfectly with the Gingkoes. I told them yes, and the next night I joined 4 other girls as new Ginkgo pledges. I had a great time as a collegian and loved my chapter. But I have to admit, it was always nice to beat the Oaks in a competition!

While I would have liked to be greek sisters with my biological sisters, I don’t think it would have made us closer in the long run. Unless they learned some earth shattering tenant in their group that makes me less of a person because I don’t know it, I don’t think just being members of the same GLO would change our relationships. And, time has proven that I have a solid connection to my GLO. I have been very active an as Alumna. I have lived in several parts of the country as an adult and I have been involved with Ginkgo Alum groups – I found sisters for life.

[FSUZeta]

Wonderful story-thank you for sharing with us.

[MaryPoppins]

Yes, thank you!

[chi-o_cat]

Great story. I was sure you were going to be a Sycamore, though.

[ladybug12]

Thanks for the story!

I have been racking my brain for the correct SEC school. I know that in the 70's Mississippi State, Tennessee, and Auburn had chapter room set-ups like you described. Can you reveal the school?

[carnation]

Think of how many chapters each school had back then!