HELP

TNGirl · #1 08-15-2009, 02:47 PM

I'm in the middle of my rush process, well the end of it, and today is prefs. I have one house that I absolutely LOVE and one that I HATE. The hated one makes me very uncomfortable and awkward feeling and my personality does not mesh well with the other girls. I only have two houses instead of the max three, so I don't want to jeopardize my chances, but if I got a bid from the hated house tomorrow, I would drop out. Advice?

PenguinTrax · #2 08-15-2009, 02:50 PM

Don't put them on your bid card - it just takes away a spot from a woman that would want to be at that house. If you are allowed to put a house on your card at which you did not attend prefs, add a house where you'd be more comfortable. Otherwise, you will need to intentionally single preference and if you do not get matched, will be ineligible for snap bidding, I believe.

AZ-AlphaXi · #3 08-15-2009, 02:57 PM

Absolutely agree ... if you know that you won't accept a bid from a house, please don't list it on your bid card. Don't let yourself be persuaided to list them not matter what. If you have to ISP than do so. Better to not get a bid and be eligible to COB either this fall or in the spring, than to be bound to a house you don't want for a year.

FSUZeta · #4 08-15-2009, 03:09 PM

agreed. recruitment counselors have been known to tell pnms that they must list all the houses they preffed, but you DO NOT have to list a house if you would not accept a bid from them.

KSUViolet06 · #5 08-15-2009, 03:52 PM

If you have attended BOTH Pref parties already and you KNOW that you would rather NOT be in a sorority AT ALL, than be in your 2nd choice, then you should by all means only list your first choice.

However, be advised that if you do not get a bid to your first choice, you'll be bidless.

If you have yet to attend both, please hold off on making any decisions until you have done so.

AOII Angel · #6 08-15-2009, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TNGirl

I'm in the middle of my rush process, well the end of it, and today is prefs. I have one house that I absolutely LOVE and one that I HATE. The hated one makes me very uncomfortable and awkward feeling and my personality does not mesh well with the other girls. I only have two houses instead of the max three, so I don't want to jeopardize my chances, but if I got a bid from the hated house tomorrow, I would drop out. Advice?

Now, I'm going to be the Devil's Advocate and tell you to think hard about this. If you are rushing at a competitive school, this may be your only chance to be in a sorority. How many women in the "hated" group have you actually met. If it is a large chapter, you may not know enough women to actually know that you wouldn't mesh with the sisters. Most chapters have so many members that you'll get women of every type...you'll find women that are just like you on any group on campus. There is nothing wrong with accepting a bid from a group, going through the new member period, trying to meet more people, see what the sisters are like outside of the artificial world of recruitment before deciding whether or not to drop.

33girl · #7 08-15-2009, 04:42 PM

Have you gone to prefs yet? If not, wait until afterwards to think about what to do. You may get the hugest surprise of your life.

Although, if after pref you would still rather eat ground glass and be set on fire than join the sorority you dislike, I agree w/ PenguinTrax's idea of putting another group you liked on your bid card (even if you didn't attend their pref).

Katmandu · #8 08-15-2009, 05:01 PM

Go to Pref with an open mind. You may meet girls in the "Hated" sorority that change your perceptions. GC is filled with stories exactly like that. If after pref you still "hate" them, then don't list them.

If the sororities are large on your campus, I guarantee there will be women in whatever group you join that you love and women that you dislike. There will be many different types in all of the groups. Have a great time at Prefs and good luck!

TNGirl · #9 08-15-2009, 06:15 PM

I am in a competitive SEC school, but this sorority, well, I can't even say that I support their philanthropy. It sounds terrible but I don't find it as a good use of my time. These girls do not have a type of personality, in any girl that I've me, that is anything similar to mine. There's been girls in my "parties" that feel the same. We've all listed them last but it doesn't seem like they drop. They're skit just bored me yesterday and during the pref stuff today, I really had no interest and wanted to go to sleep. I feel terrible that I feel like this, but it really is no where that I would want to place myself. My Rho Chi said that if I "suicide" it puts me at a greater risk for not getting my #1 than if I "maximize my options"

KSUViolet06 · #10 08-15-2009, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TNGirl

I am in a competitive SEC school, but this sorority, well, I can't even say that I support their philanthropy. It sounds terrible but I don't find it as a good use of my time. These girls do not have a type of personality, in any girl that I've me, that is anything similar to mine. There's been girls in my "parties" that feel the same. We've all listed them last but it doesn't seem like they drop. They're skit just bored me and during the pref stuuf, I really had no interest and wanted to go to sleep. I feel terrible that I feel like this, but it really is no where that I would want to place myself. My Rho Chi said that if I "suicide" it puts me at a greater risk for not getting my #1 than if I "maximize my options"

A couple of things:

*You have the same chance to get a bid to your number one as anyone else who lists 2 parties, the difference with "suiciding" is that if you don't match with your number one, you have no #2 choice and you won't have a bid on Bid Day.

*If you're in the SEC, chances are good that you are at a VERY Greek school. If you were to only list one of your choices, and NOT get a bid, ask yourself if you'd be okay with not being Greek at all?

*I guess all I'm saying is, how confident are you that the chapter you love is going to give you a bid?

If you're 100% sure that this chapter is going to bid you and that you don't want to be Greek if they don't--then go ahead and "suicide."

If you don't get a bid from them, you will be out of luck. It's not likely that a PNM can rush again the next year if she doesn't get a bid.

ComradesTrue · #11 08-15-2009, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TNGirl

I am in a competitive SEC school, but this sorority, well, I can't even say that I support their philanthropy. It sounds terrible but I don't find it as a good use of my time. These girls do not have a type of personality, in any girl that I've me, that is anything similar to mine. There's been girls in my "parties" that feel the same. We've all listed them last but it doesn't seem like they drop. They're skit just bored me yesterday and during the pref stuff today, I really had no interest and wanted to go to sleep. I feel terrible that I feel like this, but it really is no where that I would want to place myself. My Rho Chi said that if I "suicide" it puts me at a greater risk for not getting my #1 than if I "maximize my options"

A few more things to think about:
** the type of skit that a group does has little meaning on their sisterhood and a member's ability to love the group. Do not discount a chapter simply because of a skit that you didn't love.

**I know exactly what school that you are referring to, and those chapters are HUGE. The pledge classes themselves are HUGE! It is impossible to have a feel for every member of that group based on meeting only a handful of them this week.

**sounds like you are enjoying the other PNMs who also seem to be returning to this group... they would be your pledge sisters!

The decision is yours, and I promise that I am not trying to sway you in any direction. However, your reasons for discounting this group have been said a million times before by other PNMs, and a great majority of those PNMs have learned to love those exact chapters when they received a bid. The school that you attend has a wonderful Greek community and throwing it away could be a big loss to you.

If you do not want to list this group, that is fine. You are very much entitled to do just that. However, it could mean that you go bidless. How much would it bother you to see others enjoying their membership this year? If that won't bother you, then great. If you are going to ask "What if?" and/or feel left out when others are enjoying their Greek activities then I fall in the camp of giving the group a chance. (based on your reasons thus far for discounting them and knowing your campus).

There have just been scores of women who grow to love a group that they "thought" they had little in common with.

Best of luck to you.

TNGirl · #12 08-15-2009, 06:34 PM

ok. thanks everyone. If you still have advice, I'd really appreciate it

I'm gonna talk to another Rho Chi and see if she says the same. The one I talked to seemed kinda iffy.

VandalSquirrel · #13 08-15-2009, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TNGirl

I am in a competitive SEC school, but this sorority, well, I can't even say that I support their philanthropy. It sounds terrible but I don't find it as a good use of my time. These girls do not have a type of personality, in any girl that I've me, that is anything similar to mine. There's been girls in my "parties" that feel the same. We've all listed them last but it doesn't seem like they drop. They're skit just bored me yesterday and during the pref stuff today, I really had no interest and wanted to go to sleep. I feel terrible that I feel like this, but it really is no where that I would want to place myself. My Rho Chi said that if I "suicide" it puts me at a greater risk for not getting my #1 than if I "maximize my options"

I can't think of an NPC philanthropy that is a waste of time. It sounds like you and the other women who dislike this chapter are unhappy because you don't have as many options and are just breeding negativity. The chapter keeps inviting all of you back because they want to and that's unfortunate because you can't say one nice thing about them and I find it hard to believe this chapter is so awful across the board at a SEC school.

It is probably best for the chapter that you're so uninterested so they can bid a woman who really wants to be there.

Titchou · #14 08-15-2009, 06:50 PM

How is it that you are online when you have attended pref but haven't signed your bid card? I thought strict silence was observed?

KSUViolet06 · #15 08-15-2009, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blondie93

If you do not want to list this group, that is fine. You are very much entitled to do just that. However, it could mean that you go bidless. How much would it bother you to see others enjoying their membership this year? If that won't bother you, then great. If you are going to ask "What if?" and/or feel left out when others are enjoying their Greek activities then I fall in the camp of giving the group a chance.

THIS.

You're at a huge Greek school.

It happens that girls "suicide" and end with without a bid.

Then they spend all year seeing their friends going off to their sorority events and wearing their letters and they regret their decision and wish they had given their 2nd group a chance.

You likely aren't going to get a second chance at recruitment, either, so if you don't end up with a bid, you don't get a "do over."

If you're ok with potentially being at your school and NOT being in a sorority, then go for it.