Safety After Hours

[tld221]

I've mentioned before on GC how i've gotten increasingly paranoid about walking the streets in my neighborhood. Shootings (and other sorts of violence) are pretty common around these (and other neighborhoods i've lived in) parts but now it affects how I move about my day.

Last night, as I was leaving a party (in another "dangerous" neighborhood), I was deathly afraid walking the half-block to my friend's car, thinking a shootout would break out any second. This coming from someone who has no qualms taking the bus or subway late-night, or doing errands outdoors late-night (ie. running to the drugstore, doing laundry).

On a related note, one of the people the party was for decided not to show, because as he was leaving his house, he saw someone get shot in the middle of a drug raid. He, not being from the area, was so shaken by the situation that he stayed home. I also have friends who will (for example) not take the subway after 10pm (and opt for a cab or stay at a friend's) and generally don't go out/travel at night.

All this to say, how do you regard your safety, especially after hours? Do you set limits on how late you travel? Alone vs. in a group? Refuse to ride public transit alone (or at all)? Don't drive alone in certain areas/highways?

I suppose you could never be too safe, but where do you draw the line? Is it a matter of getting older? Because I've grown up in the midst of this kind of stuff but never really bothered me until now.

[Kevin]

Shoot no. I live in downtown Oklahoma City across the street from the county jail. Never had a problem.

[Proverbs31]

In my city most people rely on public transportation. So usually in the evening if I need to take the train or bus, there are dozens of other people from my school, or tourists waiting at the stop with me, so I feel pretty safe. But if it's after 10 o'clock, I'll usually just take a cab.

This past winter I had a random encounter with a homeless man that got pissed when I told him I didn't have any money to give away. He decided that he'd follow me for a bit and shout. Since then, I've been taking a cab more often at night.

[KSUViolet06]

I've lived in bigger cities all my life, but I luckily live in a college town/suburb now.

It's pretty safe here. I can walk, drive, or take the bus at night with no problems. I do have my phone with me though, because you just never know. But i have never had a problem with being safe here. I have accidentally left my car doors unlocked overnight with no problem.

[PhoenixAzul]

If I had any of those restrictions, I would never get anything done. I've lived in the city (not the 'burbs, aside from college) most of my life. Public transport, going out at night...it's part of life.

I went to grad school in Glasgow, Scotland. And undergrad I lived in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Not exactly Suburbia USA. I regularly went running early in the morning and late at night because, well, I needed to. I had to take public transport for my dissertation because I wasn't licensed to drive in the UK (yet). I was doing field research both in undergrad and postgrad. It's just not feasible to have a buddy at all times. Overall, I just acted like I knew what I was doing, and that I belonged there.

Generally, I just have contingency plans...when running I have my cell phone on me. I call my husband before I go out and give him a general idea of the plan for the run (i.e. if I'm only doing a 3 mile run and I'm not back within 45 min, I get a call). I choose run routes/walking routes that are well lit and busy at night (creepy dark tunnels in the park at night= asking for a run in with the homeless that camp out there). I don't generally carry a purse after business hours, and if I'm out at night I only take as much money as a taxi fare would cost should I need it (I keep 20 pound or so hidden away in my pants, and I've got spare bus fare/taxi fare hidden in my purse or back pack).

Fear is healthy, fear keeps you alive...but it can also be crippling. There's no reason to take unnecessary risks, but there's also no reason to stop living life because of fear. Adjust the route, have a contingency plan, have an alternative way home, let someone know your plan, have a cell phone (and/or change for a pay phone!), and own it...if you act like you belong there, you do.

[christiangirl]

Really I've gotten braver as I've gotten older...I just stay alert, especially in poorly lit parking lots/garages. Those creep me out the most. But I keep my head up, stay aware, try not to look scared as I'm walking to my destination. Park under a light, if possible. I'm usually alone, but no one messes with me. I lived in a pretty bad neighborhood in college and it made me kind of impervious to gunshots and fights. As long as no one's mad at me, there was no reason to be scared, lol. I know some pretty good self-defense moves so that makes me more confident...though my best move is definitely "run and hide!"

[Psi U MC Vito]

Honestly I'm the same. I noticed that if you look like you can take care of yourself. I mean I would hear gunshots 2 or three times a week at school and just got used ot it. But the way to be safe is something a friend told me. She studys akido at the school. The teacher says the defense if somebody is armed is to use Nike-Fu.

[ThetaDancer]

I've lived in cities and travelled pretty extensively, and I just never really felt scared. I took normal precautions and stayed alert, especially at night or in unknown areas.

Then, about a year and a half ago, I was mugged in broad daylight in what is probably the nicest part of our city. I was just on a brief walk during my lunch hour, only about 2 blocks from my office, on a semi-crowded street since most of the other people downtown were also taking their lunch break. I ignored a man begging for money, and he then punched me in the back of the head, kicked my back, and stole my purse. That experience really shook me up because it reminded me that bad stuff can happen at any time of the day and in virtually any location.

Since then, I try not to be scared but it is honestly still having a pretty bad impact on me.

[KSigkid]

I've lived in Boston for 7 years, and medium-sized cities in CT for the rest of my life. I can say without a doubt that I felt much safer living in Boston than I have living in CT. While I wouldn't think twice about walking across Boston late at night/early in the morning, I wouldn't think to do the same thing in my current town in CT, or where I grew up. It isn't a matter of age - I've stayed overnight in Boston a few times since I moved back to CT, and I haven't adjusted my late night habits in those instances.

It's not a matter of the CT cities being unsafe; neither city has a high crime rate, and they're relatively quiet places. It's just my own comfort level.

[RU OX Alum]

Originally Posted by tld221

I've mentioned before on GC how i've gotten increasingly paranoid about walking the streets in my neighborhood. Shootings (and other sorts of violence) are pretty common around these (and other neighborhoods i've lived in) parts but now it affects how I move about my day.

Last night, as I was leaving a party (in another "dangerous" neighborhood), I was deathly afraid walking the half-block to my friend's car, thinking a shootout would break out any second. This coming from someone who has no qualms taking the bus or subway late-night, or doing errands outdoors late-night (ie. running to the drugstore, doing laundry).

On a related note, one of the people the party was for decided not to show, because as he was leaving his house, he saw someone get shot in the middle of a drug raid. He, not being from the area, was so shaken by the situation that he stayed home. I also have friends who will (for example) not take the subway after 10pm (and opt for a cab or stay at a friend's) and generally don't go out/travel at night.

All this to say, how do you regard your safety, especially after hours? Do you set limits on how late you travel? Alone vs. in a group? Refuse to ride public transit alone (or at all)? Don't drive alone in certain areas/highways?

I suppose you could never be too safe, but where do you draw the line? Is it a matter of getting older? Because I've grown up in the midst of this kind of stuff but never really bothered me until now.

Hell yes, I do. But it's not just random violence in the streets I'm paranoid of. I don't go out without a group, unless I'm going somewhere where I know I will know people. Sometimes I'll take a chance but not often.

But, I used to live above a kitchen. So yeah, that experience left it's mark. Most of the violence is on the edge of the city now, so most parts are coming back. And the time of day/night doesn't really have much to do with it. Sometimes in some places it does, but in the really parts, you're just as likely to be shot at 12 noon as you are at 12 midnight.

[DaemonSeid]

When it's your time, it's your time.

That being said, I have traveled to different places dangerous or otherwise at all times of day and night and it's like what others have said, it's up to you to be alert at what's going on, travel with friends, have different convenient modes of transportation.

Funny thing is, altho I have lived in the city almost all of my life, I am more alert being in the burbs now because since there are more wooded areas, and people tend to go in after dark, it's less likely that anything happening will be witnessed by anyone.

To a degree, thankfully I drive most places I go in my area because, if I had to depend on the Metro to get me back and forth with its everchanging schedule, I would be a lost cause.

[pshsx1]

I spent most of my life in the city I go to school in just outside of Detroit. I'll take a walk almost anywhere by myself at any random hour of the night. It's kind of funny b/c so many of my friends are afraid they'll get shot if they go outside after the sun goes down. Right. And even with the shooting outside of my house a few days ago here in Plano, it was just a random incident and I have no reason to be afraid.

The only places I'm afraid to walk around at night alone are rural towns.. something in the back of my head always tells me that around 10pm, all of the KKK are out with their shotguns and a burning cross on every corner.

But like others have said, when walking around at night, I try to look like I know where I am and what I'm doing.. 9 times out of 10, it's true.

[AGDee]

There are areas of Detroit that I avoid at night. I figure if the police won't even go there, then I shouldn't either. And yes, there are a couple areas in Detroit where police and EMS won't go. I live in pretty safe suburbia, but have almost always worked in the city. I took some chances in some scary areas when I was younger, but it left an impression on me and I wouldn't do it again.

While I agree somewhat that when it's your time, it's your time, we don't take certain risks like jumping off of a sky scraper, jumping out of a plane without a parachute, playing Russian Roulette, etc. There's a balance there somewhere. We do tend to get a false sense of security in our own immediate environment, when it's what we're used to, because we HAVE to feel secure in our immediate environment or we wouldn't be able to function.

[cheerfulgreek]

I was raised in a really small town in Minnesota, so it took me some time to get used to living where I live now. I live close to campus so it's not that bad. I mean, anything can happen anywhere, but I feel safe. I still don't go out late if I don't have to though. When school is in session, if I'm leaving the library late, I always leave with my study group or before it gets too late.

[GeekyPenguin]

When I was in college I lived in an sketchy neighborhood. I tried to follow safety in numbers - if it was after 9 or so, I'd have friends walk me home from the bar. My school was pretty good about reminding us to have safety in numbers and use shuttles/call for escorts whenever possible. Unfortunately you can't always do that in the real world. Whenever I go back there to visit friends, we try to arrange it so they'll walk me to my car and I'll drop them back off at their house/the bar to make sure they get inside safely.

That being said, there's still some places I won't go. There's a beautiful park in Minneapolis that I won't walk through when it's dark, so I'll walk a mile out of my way to feel safe when I'm in that area. To me, it's worth it, but I have friends who take the gamble.

It's a tough spot to be in.