Spouses of Ques

[QuietStorm236]

My husband just joined your fraternity. I am not greek. How do I fight this feeling of exclusion, now that he has a whole new world of line brothers , protocols and acquaintances that I know nothing about?

I am proud of his accomplishment, but can't help but feel like an outsider now.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by QuietStorm236

My husband just joined your fraternity. I am not greek. How do I fight this feeling of exclusion, now that he has a whole new world of line brothers , protocols and acquaintances that I know nothing about?

I am proud of his accomplishment, but can't help but feel like an outsider now.

Shouldn't you be talking to him about it instead of some strangers on a message board?

[QuietStorm236]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Shouldn't you be talking to him about it instead of some strangers on a message board?

Respectfully, perhaps you or someone else can shed some light on a situation that I know nothing about?

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by QuietStorm236

Respectfully, perhaps you or someone else can shed some light on a situation that I know nothing about?

I am in a sorority, therefore I don't feel excluded. So I can't shed any light on the subject for you. But I still say he's your husband-- talk to him about it.

[DSTCHAOS]

QuietStorm236

I don't know how long it will take for an Omega (probably Wolfman) to respond, so here's my take on it.

Talk to your husband first, as ladygreek stated. Tell him that you understand that he's experiencing something new and that it's so exciting for him. Tell him that you are also excited for him but do not want to feel lonely and alienated. Discuss your expectations of him and his expectations of you and whether expectations have changed now that he is an Omega. Hopefully they haven't changed but rather include a new commitment.

I assume he's graduate chapter. The wives of the graduate chapter brothers may be really nice and there might be events where you can mingle with them. It's a good idea to find people who can relate to your experience (without you giving them a sob story, of course) and attend some events so you can appreciate how hard your hubby works for Omega.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

QuietStorm236
I assume he's graduate chapter. The wives of the graduate chapter brothers may be really nice and there might be events where you can mingle with them. It's a good idea to find people who can relate to your experience (without you giving them a sob story, of course) and attend some events so you can appreciate how hard your hubby works for Omega.

Co-sign. If you want to be involved in this aspect of his life, DSTCHAOS has given you a great way to get plugged in. If your issue is that his new love makes you uncomfortable, you may want to step back and consider why you feel that way.

[treblk]

QuietStorm236,
As already stated above, there are ways to get involved. As with many orgnizations, there are spouse-like support systems. There are several husbands of my sorors that are get together when we get together. They will drop off their wives, and go play glof, or whatever they feel like. They have become their own group I think it's so cute to see them together.

[ladygreek]

I don't know you all, but I was and am hesitant to delve into an answer here, because it sound like this is deeper than his joining Omega.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

I don't know you all, but I was and am hesitant to delve into an answer here, because it sound like this is deeper than his joining Omega.

It does seem like that.

Therefore, the answers given can apply to relationships where there weren't relationship issues before the person joined an organization.

[OhSoVeryLadylike]

That would be my advice...especially if he is a NEW member. Give him time first to do the NEO bonding thing. And while he is doing that...get to know the wives, they won't all be Greek themselves.

[YAHSHUA's son]

Husbands and wives got secrets. what could possibly be so important that i could not tell my wife. The mother of my children. dont get mad the Blood of Jesus ..think about it. especially if you are a Christian. Leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife and yall shall become one flesh. thats deep . ONE FLESH ...

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally Posted by treblk

QuietStorm236,
As already stated above, there are ways to get involved. As with many orgnizations, there are spouse-like support systems. There are several husbands of my sorors that are get together when we get together. They will drop off their wives, and go play glof, or whatever they feel like. They have become their own group I think it's so cute to see them together.

Also while he is out kicking it with his bruhs and handling Omega business, you have the house to yourself and time to hang with your girlfriends. Don't feel alienated but appreciate that he has a new positive affiliation in his life and that requires an adjustment from both of you.

Be supportive and don't nag him everytime he is off getting his Omega on. That's how you support him. Of course you can't know Omega secrets, but encourage him to invite a few of his Omega brothers and their wives/SOs over so you all can have a couples night.

[pinkies up]

Originally Posted by YAHSHUA's son

Husbands and wives got secrets. what could possibly be so important that i could not tell my wife. The mother of my children. dont get mad the Blood of Jesus ..think about it. especially if you are a Christian. Leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife and yall shall become one flesh. thats deep . ONE FLESH ...

You could become an English tutor for GC. By the looks of this post, ^^^, you wouldn't even notice your husband's absence.

[Alias_01]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

QuietStorm236

I don't know how long it will take for an Omega (probably Wolfman) to respond, so here's my take on it.

Talk to your husband first, as ladygreek stated. Tell him that you understand that he's experiencing something new and that it's so exciting for him. Tell him that you are also excited for him but do not want to feel lonely and alienated. Discuss your expectations of him and his expectations of you and whether expectations have changed now that he is an Omega. Hopefully they haven't changed but rather include a new commitment.

I assume he's graduate chapter. The wives of the graduate chapter brothers may be really nice and there might be events where you can mingle with them. It's a good idea to find people who can relate to your experience (without you giving them a sob story, of course) and attend some events so you can appreciate how hard your hubby works for Omega.

I think this is a pretty safe answer...but I also agree there maybe more to the story than him joining the frat. The majority of what the frat does is not secret. There are aspects which are held with more discretion and then there are things which are inappropriate...such as after I crossed I had to tell my significant other that it was not appropriate for her to bark and throw up the hooks. She just wanted to be supportive but it made it look like she was making a mockery of the organization I worked so hard to join.

I have line brothers who are married with kids and it becomes diffcult to manage the two when you are excited about being a neo and want to BE OWT with the bruhs. There really needs to be ALOT of communication between spouses. I have seen my LBs get into arguments with their wives because they are not explaining to them the importance of going to events and meetings and that the frat is not a social club but a large committment. Alot of women, especially non-greek just dont understand this...which leads them to think the worse when their man is hanging out with his frat brothers.

[YAHSHUA's son]

which leads them to think the worse when their man is hanging out with his frat brothers.

dont underestimate the ladies especially if they are Born again and filled with the Holy Spirit.....

Alias 01 what was it like pledgin Omega after being raised into PHA Freemasonry first?