Previously released pnms

[JustCurious20]

Hi! I was wondering if anyone had any information on whether or not chapters which release a pnm one year (during first round of releases specifically-like after the first event)are required to do so the next year. The sororities I'm talking about specifically are Chi Omega, Tri Delta, Kappa Delta, Pi Beta Phi, Alpha Delta Pi, Kappa Alpha Theta, Delta Gamma, Delta Zeta, and Phi Mu.

I've heard that some chapters have a policy of "trusting" the judgement and reasoning of the sisters the year before and se they automatically release those girls which were released during first round (or maybe even second round) but I'm not sure because its just hearsay I guess.. I'd like to be prepared for the event that I'm released heavily if that is whats going to happen, just so its easier to handle

Thanks girls!!

[jwright25]

Originally Posted by JustCurious20

Hi! I was wondering if anyone had any information on whether or not chapters which release a pnm one year (during first round of releases specifically-like after the first event)are required to do so the next year. The sororities I'm talking about specifically are Chi Omega, Tri Delta, Kappa Delta, Pi Beta Phi, Alpha Delta Pi, Kappa Alpha Theta, Delta Gamma, Delta Zeta, and Phi Mu.

I've heard that some chapters have a policy of "trusting" the judgement and reasoning of the sisters the year before and se they automatically release those girls which were released during first round (or maybe even second round) but I'm not sure because its just hearsay I guess.. I'd like to be prepared for the event that I'm released heavily if that is whats going to happen, just so its easier to handle

Thanks girls!!

Nope - we do not have information on the specific membership selection procedures of sororities. If we did, we couldn't talk about it. Chapters make their decisions on a local basis, and no one knows why.

Your best bet would be to do any advance work regarding recommendation letters that might help out and work to make sure your GPA and resume are the absolute very best possible. If you get released, you get released, and there's no way to know why - even if someone tries to tell you why, you have no guarantee that they are telling the truth.

Don't worry about that which you cannot control and focus instead on that which you can. Good luck!

Originally Posted by JustCurious20

Hi! I was wondering if anyone had any information on whether or not chapters which release a pnm one year (during first round of releases specifically-like after the first event)are required to do so the next year. The sororities I'm talking about specifically are Chi Omega, Tri Delta, Kappa Delta, Pi Beta Phi, Alpha Delta Pi, Kappa Alpha Theta, Delta Gamma, Delta Zeta, and Phi Mu.

I've heard that some chapters have a policy of "trusting" the judgement and reasoning of the sisters the year before and se they automatically release those girls which were released during first round (or maybe even second round) but I'm not sure because its just hearsay I guess.. I'd like to be prepared for the event that I'm released heavily if that is whats going to happen, just so its easier to handle

Thanks girls!!

Originally Posted by jwright25

Nope - we do not have information on the specific membership selection procedures of sororities. If we did, we couldn't talk about it. Chapters make their decisions on a local basis, and no one knows why.

Your best bet would be to do any advance work regarding recommendation letters that might help out and work to make sure your GPA and resume are the absolute very best possible. If you get released, you get released, and there's no way to know why - even if someone tries to tell you why, you have no guarantee that they are telling the truth.

Don't worry about that which you cannot control and focus instead on that which you can. Good luck!

What jwright25 said. Period. Close thread.

[BadCat25]

My sorority has no formal "once cut, always cut" rule on a national level and I doubt if any other NPC sororities do, but on a local level I think you will find that the top sororities probably do, especially in a competitive rush but it is an informal policy. Some also have a freshman only policy. Just don't worry about it because there is nothing you can do about it.

[JustCurious20]

Thanks for the advice.. I figured nobbody could say anything definitively. Its just I went through rush and wasnt happy with the results and I honestly think that if I went through it again I would accept any bid offered regardless of if it was a 'top house'. I know this is off topic...but have any of you ever known a girl who was cut really hard and honestly felt like bad depression from it. I never wanted to tell my friends how affected I was by my first rush experience.. Little girls always grow up being told that they're beautiful and perfect and all that. Then, I go through recruitment and all the sudden I feel like there must be something terribly wrong with me. I walked through the doors with great, high self esteem..and somehow I left scarred almost. I feel like I'm missing out. I feel like there must be something wrong with me. Does anyone know a girl who felt like this after rush rejection or am I just dramatic...

[adpiucf]

No one likes to be rejected, and EVERYONE has experienced that feeling more than once in her life. Some schools even have therapists on hand at Bid Day. So no, you are not alone in feeling this way. However, if those feelings persist, please talk to a counselor or doctor to help you move past the disappointment and focus on being happy and well!

[LΩVE]

Originally Posted by JustCurious20

Thanks for the advice.. I figured nobbody could say anything definitively. Its just I went through rush and wasnt happy with the results and I honestly think that if I went through it again I would accept any bid offered regardless of if it was a 'top house'. I know this is off topic...but have any of you ever known a girl who was cut really hard and honestly felt like bad depression from it. I never wanted to tell my friends how affected I was by my first rush experience.. Little girls always grow up being told that they're beautiful and perfect and all that. Then, I go through recruitment and all the sudden I feel like there must be something terribly wrong with me. I walked through the doors with great, high self esteem..and somehow I left scarred almost. I feel like I'm missing out. I feel like there must be something wrong with me. Does anyone know a girl who felt like this after rush rejection or am I just dramatic...

Everyone's different, so things effect them differently. I wasn't in that situation but as a Rho Chi I equated it to getting dumped by a boyfriend. Sometimes when they say "it's me, not you" it's true. And just about every girl has been in THAT situation to some degree. It doesn't suck any less, but it isn't always you. And if it was partially you, depending on the campus it could be for an extremely trivial reason. Remember that sorority women aren't a chosen race...they are women JUST like you and you'll find friends, I'm sure, whether or not you end up being Greek. There's no reason to think that they know something about yourself that you don't. You know who you are, what you have to offer the world, and as cliche as it sounds, if they can't see that, it's not your problem. Take your assets and talents elsewhere, join a club on campus, make new friends, and enjoy yourself.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by JustCurious20

Thanks for the advice.. I figured nobbody could say anything definitively. Its just I went through rush and wasnt happy with the results and I honestly think that if I went through it again I would accept any bid offered regardless of if it was a 'top house'. I know this is off topic...but have any of you ever known a girl who was cut really hard and honestly felt like bad depression from it. I never wanted to tell my friends how affected I was by my first rush experience.. Little girls always grow up being told that they're beautiful and perfect and all that. Then, I go through recruitment and all the sudden I feel like there must be something terribly wrong with me. I walked through the doors with great, high self esteem..and somehow I left scarred almost. I feel like I'm missing out. I feel like there must be something wrong with me. Does anyone know a girl who felt like this after rush rejection or am I just dramatic...

Everyone experiences rejection in life, and yes, sometimes people are affected differently by it. It's not unheard of for released PNMs to get upset or depressed over it.

Something important to remember is that not receiving a bid does NOT make you any less of a person. It just doesn't.

My best suggestion to you is to make sure that you get involved in something you enjoy on campus REALLY enjoy the rest of college. You don't get a "do-over" of college.

[Zillini]

No one here knows why a particular PNM gets cut. No one here can or will say if a particular chapter has a "Once cut, always cut" policy. To be clear though, no GLO has an official policy regarding that.

I will say a PNM can improve her chances for a 2nd try. If the cuts were due to grades, buckle down and pull that GPA up. If her HS resume wasn't all that stellar, get involved on campus in clubs, activities, community service, etc. If she didn't know anyone in the chapters, spend the year getting to know and making friends with as many sorority girls as possible. If she was incredibly overwhelmed and/or shy during Recruitment, work on coming out of her shell in social situations.

Just remember on many campuses going through recruitment as a sophomore can be more difficult simply because they are not freshmen. On some campuses, year is school doesn't matter that much. On others, there are special upperclassmen quotas so sophs and jrs are competing directly with freshmen.

[baci]

Originally Posted by JustCurious20

Thanks for the advice.. I figured nobbody could say anything definitively. Its just I went through rush and wasnt happy with the results and I honestly think that if I went through it again I would accept any bid offered regardless of if it was a 'top house'. I know this is off topic...but have any of you ever known a girl who was cut really hard and honestly felt like bad depression from it. I never wanted to tell my friends how affected I was by my first rush experience.. Little girls always grow up being told that they're beautiful and perfect and all that. Then, I go through recruitment and all the sudden I feel like there must be something terribly wrong with me. I walked through the doors with great, high self esteem..and somehow I left scarred almost. I feel like I'm missing out. I feel like there must be something wrong with me. Does anyone know a girl who felt like this after rush rejection or am I just dramatic...

Everyone handles rejection differently, but I do want to share with you what I witnessed. Several young women on my floor went through the process together their freshmen year at University of Florida. I would say six women to be exact. I had already been through the process, so I was able to watch and listen to their stories. They all were wonderful women with various strengths/weaknesses. IMO, what happened as the week went on was quite shocking. They were met with horrible rejection. They had very hard cuts and were left with little to no houses to return and very early on in the process. They all had super grades and high school activities to back them up. Only one of them made it through to the end and pledged. It was gut-wrenching.

They all felt awful and I do not say that mildly. I thank goodness they had each other to bond with and the strength to make it through as the semester was just getting started for them. They actually went on to get involved in various clubs and even the famed Dazzlers (dance squad) and one a UF cheerleader. They even started their own sorority.

It does hurt and I think it is a learning process. It is a life experience. Please try to not take it personal. It happens to many young women every year. I wish you the very best!

[BadCat25]

You are not the only one who feels that way. My HS BFF was cut in UGA rush and transferred to Georgia Tech as a junior. She told me that she just couldn't stand the thought of of spending the rest of her college career at the same school with the sorority girls who cut her the year before. She just wanted out.
Just try and remember that at most schools most of the girls are not in a sorority and they function just fine. Get involved in a campus organization and make non greek friends. Only try a second rush if you feel that you can handle the real possibility that the second one will be no better than the first.

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by JustCurious20

Thanks for the advice.. I figured nobbody could say anything definitively. Its just I went through rush and wasnt happy with the results and I honestly think that if I went through it again I would accept any bid offered regardless of if it was a 'top house'. I know this is off topic...but have any of you ever known a girl who was cut really hard and honestly felt like bad depression from it. I never wanted to tell my friends how affected I was by my first rush experience.. Little girls always grow up being told that they're beautiful and perfect and all that. Then, I go through recruitment and all the sudden I feel like there must be something terribly wrong with me. I walked through the doors with great, high self esteem..and somehow I left scarred almost. I feel like I'm missing out. I feel like there must be something wrong with me. Does anyone know a girl who felt like this after rush rejection or am I just dramatic...

This really stood out to me.

While it may not be the case with you, I have encountered tons of PNMs who felt this away about themselves as they were going through the Rush process. It came across as snobbish and aloof, and not the type of sister that many chapters are looking for.

If, and note that I did say "if," it is possible that you were giving off these types of vibes, then that is one more thing that you could change about how you present yourself if you decide to rush again.

Conversation skills and attitude/personality can be just as necessary to the rush process as grades and involvement. All are important.

[33girl]

I think this is a generational thing, kids nowadays get handed a trophy for showing up and girls in particular have their self esteem tippy toed around. if the 1st disappointment you get is at age 18 of course it's going to hit you harder.

[FSUZeta]

i wouldn't be at all surprised if there were other girls who were depressed after recruitment. depression is so much more than just being disappointed when things don't turn out the way you had hoped. if you feel that you are still suffering from depression, please go to the health clinic on your campus and talk to someone.

[JustCurious20]

Thanks for all the kind words-i mean i've faced rejection before..but its usually so concrete, such as you didnt make cheerleading this year bc your front hand spring was off or your toe touch was sloppy. That way your like okay, I'll work on that and make it next year. Constructive criticism. My major mental breakdown moment with rush was that I felt like this was a 360 examination- my hair, grades, clothes, friends, reputations, extracurriculars, etc. etc. I felt like these groups thought, well on an overall level..your just not good enough so we're going to cut you as quickly as possible (1st round). Its hard to try to improve when all you can think is wow, everything is wrong with me.

My boyfriend told me he'd break up with me if I rushed when I was a freshman. So I didn't. Then I rush as a sophomore and this happens. Now I'm going on as a junior. I know quite a few sweet, nice girls.. I've made it a point even to befriend greek women and ask the friends I've had since before college for their advice. I'm trying so hard..

I have a question. If I have a stellar gpa, should I even bring it up? Someone told me I may have gotten cut because I had a hard major and a good gpa. I dont see how this could be bad? But I dont know..thats just who I am, thats whats important to me. Another question-are girls looked down upon who re-rush? Will they wonder whats wrong with me and be confused as to why I'm still trying to get a bid? I don't want to look desperate or be "that" girl.