what do you do when someone

Conskeeted19 · #1 09-27-2001, 07:55 PM

hi guys! i know that i haven't been around for a bit, but i have not been feeling my computer for awhile. i would like for everyone to know that you have truly been missed. thanks ideal for being concerned.

and a special hi to my puppy- "FF"

what do you do when you desperately want to be special friends with someone, but he/she is reluctant because he/she is afraid that he/she may get too close? how do you handel the rejection? when i say special friends, i am not referring to being sexual.

AKA2D '91 · #2 09-27-2001, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Conskeeted19

when i say special friends, i am not referring to being sexual.

Soror, I'm

.

They do not want to get close and it's STRICTLY platonic?

There has to be other issues.

Anyway, "you" should handle that rejection like any other. It's that person's loss, not yours. It could seem hard in the beginning, but oh well. Time heals all wounds.

affinity8 · #3 09-28-2001, 09:56 AM

I went through that with a friend before. It seemed like we were sisters at first and then she just went MIA. It felt wierd not talking to her and when I did, I felt like I was some ex-boyfriend trying to spend time with her. Finally, I just had to get things off my chest. Turns out she just wasn't used to having good friends, but she/we are working on developing a strong friendship/ relationship and we are both doing it through Christ. Rejection hurts, but it hurts more when you don't express your feelings. Half the time the other person doesn't even realize that they've hurt you. You never know what is going through a person's mind or what experiences they've gone through to get them to the point where they are afriad to open up to a man or woman for fear of being hurt themselves. Develop trust, learn to love unconditionally and try not to expect anything in return....Always easier said than done. (smile)

Ideal08 · #4 09-28-2001, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Conskeeted19
thanks ideal for being concerned.

That's what Sorors are for!

what do you do when you desperately want to be special friends with someone, but he/she is reluctant because he/she is afraid that he/she may get too close? how do you handel the rejection? when i say special friends, i am not referring to being sexual.

Well, that's a hard one. I mean, if you feel like putting work into trying to make the friendship work is worth it, I say keep at it. People have fears of intimacy (not sexual, but in general) for different reasons. Friendships, like any relationship, require work, and are not always easy to upkeep. A TRUE friend will attempt to put her insecurities and fears behind her to try and make the friendship work.

As far as how do you handle the rejection, I agree with 2D, just like you handle any rejection. It's hard, but everything takes time. Just remember, some people come into our lives for only a reason or a season, not everyone is meant to be in your life for a lifetime. That is a hard reality to face sometimes, I know. But just look at it like this, everything is an experience. What can you take from the friendship, and what can you leave behind? Did you learn anything from the relationship? Did it help you grow in any way? Write about it in your journal, mourn the ending of the friendship, and pick yourself back up and move on.