I'm not sure if I can even ask this...

[BlondieCat]

We just got a breakdown of our chapter budget, and where our dues go to and such. I noticed a LARGE percentage of our dues (almost a third) go toward food at different events (retreats, date parties, initiation, etc.).

I have a BAD food allergy to wheat, so it makes it very difficult for me. Whenever we have long events, I go out and get my own food. (I am used to this, from dealing with allergies from a young age). I do feel kind of bothered by the fact that I am spending a large amount of money on something that I do not get the benefit of, and actually, am required to spend MORE money than the rest of my sisters because I have to go out and supply for myself.

I realize this may be kind of a silly complaint, but I asked awhile back if maybe the chapter could consider changing up their food a little bit (like getting salad or something once in awhile instead of pizza), but they have made no effort at all. In fact, in a few weeks, we are supposed to go on a retreat road trip and the food will be provided. It listed: bagels and baguettes for breakfast. Sandwhiches for lunch. Pizza for dinner. It also said, "if you can't eat this, bring your own". It even said something along the lines of "other food is too expensive, so deal with it".

I don't want to complain and be a brat, because I understand that other girls have probably paid for things in their dues that they never used/went to/etc. either, but I was really bothered by the fact that I made my concern known and nobody considered it important enough to deal with. Is there anything I can do in this situation, or should I just suck it up?


*Also- I dont live in the house yet, so I don't pay room and board, and don't have a meal plan to eat meals in the house (and probably never will have a meal plan, due to my strict diet)

[33girl]

Is there anyone else in the chapter with the same problem? How big is your chapter?

The chapter shouldn't be constantly eating such unhealthy food, members with allergies or not.

[crescent&pearls]

I feel for you, BlondieCat, because my nephews have severe food allergies, and until you have to deal with it yourself, people who don't have food allergies just don't realize what a pain it is!

Have you joined the food allergy network? they might have some suggestions for you how you can educate your sisters in a non-confrontational way. I doubt you can get your dues reduced or adjusted, but don't assume that your sisters don't care, they just don't know/don't understand/don't know what to do. I love my nephews to death but I'm constantly forgetting what they can and can't eat...and I'm not in the habit of checking every label when I shop. So I'm trying to watch what products they have in their home, and I get special treats just for them when I know they'll be in my house.

[AOEforme]

There must be other people in your chapter with your problem! Our chapter is tiny and we still have a bazillion food allergies to deal with, along with restrictive diets and religous reasons.

(In fact, maybe the problem is there are TOO many ladies with special requests for food so those in charge just said "Screw it, we're serving this and if you don't like it/can't eat it, bring your own." )

I'd talk to some of the other girls in your chapter who have this issue (maybe not with wheat, but with other food products).

Our chapter will get whatever for the main group, but serve a meal of the same price range for girls who request it.

[Army Wife'79]

My D is allergic to peanuts and eggs so it's been a problem for her too but the trick is to get yourself on the "food committee" or befriend the gals who are. Her group will often have a plain salad or something for her if she can't eat the main meal. Otherwise, she always has a Slim Fast meal bar in her purse and just "sucks it up". Banquets, restaurants and buffets are a nightmare for kids with food allergies. Chewable Benedryl and Epi Pens are wonderful inventions.

[katijane]

My sapphire sister has the very same problem that you are facing. Some suggestions that I gave her were to:

1) Remind the person who is "putting on" the event, and ask them if they could make accommodations for you. I know many times when I am planning an event, even when I am trying to be sensitive to special needs, that they often get forgotten in the general chaos of the event.

2) Try talking to the person who handles your chapter's finances or executive board, see if they would be willing to reimburse the money that you are putting out to provide food for yourself. Even if it isn't plausible to reimburse you for every dollar that you spend, perhaps they would be willing to give an equivalent reimbursement. For example: If pizza for sisters breaks down to approximately $5/girl then you could be reimbursed for up to $5 of what you spent to provide for yourself.

I also think that being an activist for yourself can go a long way. I know in my Sapph's situation a lot of the problem is simply that we (as a chapter) have a hard time grasping her situation. Sisters are constantly misunderstanding what it is that she is allergic to. I can't even count how many times I've witnessed someone "call her out" for eating candy because they just don't understand.

crescent&pearls and Army Wife '79 also make really excellent points!

[gee_ess]

Would it be possible to discuss your concerns with a chapter advisor? That might be another way to advocate for yourself. She may be able to come up with some alternatives that work for you since she is familiar with your specific chapter's situation.

[fantASTic]

Wow, we always try to accommodate girls with special requests like vegetarians...but to be honest, it seems like the real problem is how much money your chapter spends on food! Why would they spend that much??

I'd go after THAT first.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Wow, we always try to accommodate girls with special requests like vegetarians...but to be honest, it seems like the real problem is how much money your chapter spends on food! Why would they spend that much??

I'd go after THAT first.

Yeah, that too. Why do you need food for initiation?

[RU OX Alum]

I have bad allergies too, and I think that you're completely in the right.

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Yeah, that too. Why do you need food for initiation?

Initiation can take more than one day. If the chapter is housed, the members are required to stay in the house so many times the Marshal or VPS will order/make food for the night. Plus, many chapters have initiation brunches after everything is finished.

You should talk to a few different people: the treasurer, the house manager, the cook and the house director/mother and, when possible, the officer planning the event.

Let them know about your allergy (it's a good idea for the house director to know anyway, just in case) and voice your concerns and ways you have dealt with your allergy in the past. It's been my experience that most cooks are more than happy to work something out or have an alternative option. they just need to know. I'd guess that you're not the only one dealing with allergies.

[cbm]

A third of your budget goes to food and you are eating things like pizza, bagels and sandwiches? That is what *I* would be complaining about! I don't remember ever eating pizza or sandwiches, except during work weeks.

[33girl]

I just thought of something else.

Make sure they aren't pulling an Enron and putting some of the "food" money towards alcohol for date parties and mixers.

[AOII Angel]

BlondieCat...you should go to your doctor and get her/him to write you a letter explaining to your chapter that you are medically unable to ingest the foods that they choose for the chapter. Have him/her specifically mention those foods that they commonly buy for the other sisters. It is different if you just don't like the foods they provide, but you have a medical reason behind your food preferences that should not be ignored. Give a letter to your chapter advisor and your executive board. You should then request to have a dues reduction since you ALWAYS must provide your own food.

[KappaKittyCat]

Originally Posted by Zeta13Girl

Something else that our chapter does in place of just putting out money for food is that they require sisters to sign up and bring food. For instance they will pass around a sign up sheet that looks sort of like below and if you dont bring anything you cant eat.

Some chapters aren't allowed to do stuff like that. It might sound crazy, but there's actually logic behind it. Kappa has a "no assessment" policy. That means that our dues will cover everything that the chapter does: parties, mixers, formals, etc. The policy is in place so that once you've paid dues, you're good to go for the year, and chapters never have sisters having to miss out on events because they can't afford it.