bid day - regrets?

[scrapcat]

Hi
My daughter just finished a very "thrilling" rush period. She was invited to 3 perf parties. She liked all three houses. Here's my question - As actives of a sorority, how did you feel during Bid Day when you knew a girl you really hoped would become a potential "sister" ran to greet her new house? (not yours) My daughter wondered if some of the girls she connected with in the second/third place houses felt bad seeing her. She said she felt sorta sad. (but thrilled as she ran to her house).

Anyone feel that way too? I can only imagine the emotions on bid day!

Originally Posted by scrapcat

Hi
My daughter just finished a very "thrilling" rush period. She was invited to 3 perf parties. She liked all three houses. Here's my question - As actives of a sorority, how did you feel during Bid Day when you knew a girl you really hoped would become a potential "sister" ran to greet her new house? (not yours) My daughter wondered if some of the girls she connected with in the second/third place houses felt bad seeing her. She said she felt sorta sad. (but thrilled as she ran to her house).

Anyone feel that way too? I can only imagine the emotions on bid day!

We get over it.

The most important person on Bid Day is the PNM, and if she's happy, then we're happy.

[sceniczip]

I felt a little sad this year because I knew a PNM outside of recruitment, we both ride horses and have a class together but I knew the other sorority was a better fit for her and it did make me happy that we were her number two As long as the PNM is happy that's really the important thing.

[KSUViolet06]

It is a tad disappointing for like 2 seconds, but it's not something we dwell on. Like, we don't sit around our bid day crying over girls who didn't join our sorority.

Besides, we're too busy getting to know our new girls to be upset.

At the end of the day, the important thing is that the girls are happy where they are (whether it's with my sorority or another one).

[APhiAnna]

Occasionally individual girls will be really upset because a PNM that was previously very close to her chose another sorority. But usually everybody is so excited to receive the new pledges that any disappointment doesn't really last.

[gee_ess]

I agree that it is not unusual to get caught up in the emotion of the event and feel briefly disappointed or sad that a pnm went elsewhere, but we realize (far better than they do at that point) that everything always works out like it should.

On the other hand, I have had experience with pnms boldly lying to actives about their intentions to pref XYZ only to learn that they did the exact opposite. That can cause some deep hurt and anger - but again, it doesn't last long.

[Benzgirl]

It lasted maybe a couple of hours. Once I got back to my apartment and saw my decorated door and roses on the table, I completely forgot about Pref 2 and 3.

[LucyKKG]

Yeah, pretty much ditto to all of the above. I <3 our NMs!

[LΩVE]

This year's Recruitment Counselor experience for me was a little sad...I had three rush crushes, one of which went my way. It's harder as a Recruitment counselor because we get to know them better than the sorority girls do...but that works both ways. My other two rush crushes, because I had gotten to know them, seemed like perfect fits to their chosen groups and I knew they were going to love it. My sadness lasted about five minutes...long enough to figure out who went where, think about it, and then end up smiling.

As an active my disappointment was even shorter. I had occasional rush crushes, but have every year been so happy with my new member class that it didn't bother me.

The only time I've been notably disappointed was as a PNM myself, because I had met and liked a particular group of girls when school first began. They all wanted one sorority, which happened to be the other one I chose for pref, but I knew where I belonged. It still made me a little sad, though, until I got the chance to bond with my pledge class.

[AGDee]

Just because she didn't end up in the same sorority doesn't mean she can't be friends with some of the women she really clicked with throughout recruitment.

[33girl]

The only time I was really seriously pissed was when a PNM basically had led us on for a semester (to the point that some people thought that she was ALREADY a sister) and then flip-flopped when it came time to sign her bid card. Other than that, yeah it's disappointing, but as OTW said, you get over it - especially when you get some girls you didn't think you had a chance of getting!

Sidenote: this is why I hate the "everyone opens their bids in public at the same time" concept instead of the sororities going to pick up the pledges. It just makes unnecessary drama, for the sorority women and the pledges.
At least when "Flip-Flop" shafted us we had a couple hours to vent about it at the house.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Sidenote: this is why I hate the "everyone opens their bids in public at the same time" concept instead of the sororities going to pick up the pledges. It just makes unnecessary drama, for the sorority women and the pledges.
At least when "Flip-Flop" shafted us we had a couple hours to vent about it at the house.

We had the PNMs open their bids in public, however the houses recieved bid lists several hours before the PNMs opened thier bids. So if we had been shafted, we still had the time to vent.

I do remember being disappointed when someone went to another house- but I also remember that we never really knew WHY they went to the other house. Did she rank them ahead of us? Was she further up on their bid list than ours? My roomate had a good friend that preffed us and another house. She ended up joining the other house. When the new members were running to their houses, her friend stopped and hugged the roomate and they stayed friends. In fact I have stayed friends with women in 5 different houses.

[PJS]

The one time I have seen the hurt last longer is when the PNM has a biological sister in the house or very recently graduated. It also stings again at special times like initiation.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by PJS

The one time I have seen the hurt last longer is when the PNM has a biological sister in the house or very recently graduated. It also stings again at special times like initiation.

True. I haven't seen this happen with my particular chapter, but I had a friend in another sorority whose younger sister went through recruitment. Big Sister was a senior, so Younger Sister spent her HS years coming to XYZ for Little Sibs weekend, Parents Weekend, etc. It was one of those situations where I think it was assumed between the two of them that Younger Sis would go XYZ. Younger Sister even knew which room in XYZ she wanted to have when she lived in.

Come recruitment time, Younger Sister was cut by XYZ. She got a bid elsewhere, but on Bid Day you could tell that she was upset. I remember seeing Big Sister and she looked quite upset also. Little Sister ended up depledging her sorority shortly after recruitment.

Big Sister was so upset by this that after recruitment, she went early alum [or whatever her sorority calls it]. She didn't mind telling people why when they asked either.

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Come recruitment time, Younger Sister was cut by XYZ. She got a bid elsewhere, but on Bid Day you could tell that she was upset. I remember seeing Big Sister and she looked quite upset also. Little Sister ended up depledging her sorority shortly after recruitment.

Wow, that must have been some discussion that resulted in releasing an inhouse sister! I can only imagine the MS session that resulted in the release, and I shudder to think what the recruitment advisor had to deal with behind closed doors!