Newbie Mom of brand new Pi Phi!

AngelMom · #1 10-01-2008, 12:50 PM

My daughter just went through rush at UCLA. It was extremely competitive. She got into one of her favorite houses. She is very happy although most of her friends, including her roomate, are all together in what was her top choice. I was never in a sorority in college and I am not completely sure of all that she is going through right now. They have been having a function/event everynight (Sunday evening was Bid Day) and I am concerned this will atke over her life. Any advise to a new sorority mom? By the way UCLA had 800 girls at the first info meeting and it looks like most houses have about 45-50 new members.

GammaPhi88 · #2 10-01-2008, 01:14 PM

First, congratulations to your new angel!

Be supportive of your daughter no matter what! She's going through a complete whirlwind right now, and for a while, it will take over her life as she begins to meet her pledge class and new sisters. Remind her that she can still be friends with her friends in other houses, and remind her that while being in a sorority is amazing, especially at first when everything is happening at once, she still needs to work in school. And just so you know, the first few days after bid day are crazy, but it will die down a little; pledges usually just go to weekly meetings and sometimes chapter.

Send her a bouquet of carnations and perhaps some Pi Phi stuff, though be wary of sending letters as she may not be able to wear them until initiation. (Check out SomethingGreek.com). Congratulations to your daughter, and just be a supportive mom, no matter what shall arise.

AngelMom · #3 10-01-2008, 01:22 PM

GammaPhi88: Thank you for the advise. I am sure things will calm down a bit soon. She has always been extremely academic so I can't see that changing drastically. I did order her some sweatpants and a key chain which I plan to give her at Parents Weekend, Oct. 17-19. I didn't realize that they can't wear the letters until after initiation. She'll just have to wait then! When does initiation normally take place? Bid day was this past Sunday.

GammaPhi88 · #4 10-01-2008, 02:37 PM

Oh no problem at all AngelMom! And as for the letters, she is allowed to wear them spelled out; I should have clarified. They can say Pi Phi, but never the greek letters. And its okay if she has them before initiation; I had a lettered sweatshirt sitting in my closet waiting for initiation. As for the date of initiation, that can vary by sorority, and it is often not released to the public. However, in most houses, it should be in about six to eight weeks from now, its not a semester long pledge period anymore. If you have any more questions, you are more than welcome to PM me!

bevinpiphi · #5 10-01-2008, 11:02 PM

I know for our Pi Phi chapter, initiation is 8 weeks from bid night.
Also, our new members are immediately able to wear the Pi Phi letters. We extended a bid, and she accepted, so I think she should be able to.

basket96 · #6 10-01-2008, 11:46 PM

Good advise here Mom! Send flowers, a note or a little gift. Tell her how much you love her. Also, tell her to keep her head in the books, because it is very easy (even for the best of students) to get behind with all the recruitment week events. Maybe suggest she find a pledge sister to study with in the library or something like that.

Also encourage her to make the most of her new member period by getting to know all the other new members as well as the actives, attending meeting, philanthropies or any other events that they are having. Some chapters have weekly study hours (where members meet in a certain location on campus and study together) or meet on a certain day in the cafeteria for lunch, that sort of thing. By throwing herself into Pi Phi, she will start to feel the wonderful sisterhood and sense of belonging that made her pledge in the first place.

To me there is nothing worse than a new member who sort of "sits on the outside" and does not get fully involved with chapter life. As an adviser, I have seen it a few times and it really breaks my heart. No one in the chapter knows if they were her #1 or #2 or #1,000,000 choice (unless she is foolish enough to say something, which she shouldn't). And you will know, if you read much here on GC, that many, MANY women pledge their #2 or #3 choice only to turn around and say "I don't know how that happened, but I AM SO GLAD IT DID. THIS IS MY HOME. It happened for a reason".

As for you, try not to worry (yeah, right) and just be the wonderful, supportive Mom you are! You are lucky Parents weekend is so soon. At my school it is in the spring, so the parents have to wait!

Please post how your daughter is doing! Pi Phi is a wonderful sorority and she is very lucky to have found her home there!

AngelMom · #7 10-02-2008, 12:41 AM

Basket96 and others: Thank you so much for the advise and encourgement. I am hoping she will keep her academics a priority as she always has in the past. She still has to apply for her major at the end of her freshman year and the main criteria is high GPA so I am hoping that will provide incentive!
I have no doubt that she will throw herself into sorority events 100%. She has been looking forward to this for a long time and is not someone to sit back and observe. She will get involved and I hope love every minute of it. Thanks again for your kind words and advise.

breathesgelatin · #8 10-02-2008, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bevinpiphi

I know for our Pi Phi chapter, initiation is 8 weeks from bid night.
Also, our new members are immediately able to wear the Pi Phi letters. We extended a bid, and she accepted, so I think she should be able to.

Just seconding Bevin here. A Pi Phi new member should be allowed to wear letters from the time she pledges. If not, that is a violation of Pi Beta Phi's hazing policy.

Congrats to your baby angel!!!

GammaPhi88 · #9 10-02-2008, 01:37 AM

Sorry about that breathesgelatin! On some campuses, at least mine, new members are encouraged to save their letters for after initiation. I was just bringing up that possibility!