Changing

[tess190]

I have always been a person that says I will never change. Last semester I decided to pledge a sorority, I pledged during most of my semester and became an active member before classes let out in May. I enjoy all of the sorority things and love being involved on campus more. I have met a ton of people and have been developing new friendships. But on the flip side my buddy who has known me for about 10 years told me that I have become a sorority snob and dont talk to people that I knew before I pledged. I still talk to my other friends, but I just dont talk as much as I use to because I am busy with work, school, games that I work at, and of course sorority things. I try to hang out with my friends as much as I can. I will admit that I do hang out with one of my sisters almost daily because we are very close and we are a lot alike, but we are on campus together and in the sorority together and both hold positions that we work together a lot with.

Should I just forget what my buddy told me and just do my thing? Or, should I take some time to try to fix his and my friendship? I just need some advice because all my sisters have different thoughts on it and I just would like some more input. Thanks all

[ComradesTrue]

First I am sorry for the difficult position that you have been put in by that friend.

One thing that college (and beyond) has taught me is that life is about change. We each grow, develope, etc so much between the ages of 18-22 that no one should apologize for "changing" unless it is a change for the worse. I don't know you in real life, so I can not address if you are giving off a snobbish vibe. However, many people shift slightly their close groups of friends during the college years. You are learing so much more about yourself, developing an identity that is separate from that of your youth, and you will naturally be drawn to others who share your values and (possibly new) interests.

I still treasure many of my friendships from high school and even college. But with each phase of life time commitments (which of course include time with friends) will shift as necessary. Your friend may not realize that you continue to value the friendship, but may need to do it in a more quality time basis instead of quantity time. Just sit down and explain that.

Never apologize for growing up, exploring new interests, or meeting more people. You are living life, which is exactly what you should be doing at your age. As long as you continue to have an element of sensitivity to those who may want more of your time and you do carve out some time for them then you are doing the right things for this stage of life.

Enjoy and congrats on finding a special sisterhood in your sorority.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by tess190

But on the flip side my buddy who has known me for about 10 years told me that I have become a sorority snob and dont talk to people that I knew before I pledged. I still talk to my other friends, but I just dont talk as much as I use to because I am busy with work, school, games that I work at, and of course sorority things. I try to hang out with my friends as much as I can. I will admit that I do hang out with one of my sisters almost daily because we are very close and we are a lot alike, but we are on campus together and in the sorority together and both hold positions that we work together a lot with.

Should I just forget what my buddy told me and just do my thing? Or, should I take some time to try to fix his and my friendship? I just need some advice because all my sisters have different thoughts on it and I just would like some more input. Thanks all

I'm sorry to hear that you're having problems with a friend.

I had a similar experience--I had a close girlfriend in college who was quite vocal about how she hated the Greek system. She was also quite territorial and possessive of me, which I was able to ignore for the most part. I was able to keep her unaware of my sorority membership (despite the fact that I wore my pledge pin everyday for months!) until one day, I believe the semester after I pledged, she noticed and was really upset.

She got over it, but she complained about it for a while until she realized that I was pretty much the same person, just with an additional set of friends. I think her being upset was based on a lot of jealousy and fear that someone else would take my time away from her.