Does your spouse/partner/boyfriend come to Sorority functions with you?

[Blacksocialite]

This has become an interesting discussion among Sorors in my area recently (not sure why).

Does your 'man' attend Sorority functions (fashion shows, parties, conferences) with you?

Mine would if I asked him but I'm not sure that he would enjoy himself because they are so few men in attendance.

[Senusret I]

Okay, so I am single and not a sorority member (clearly) but I feel like I have something to add to this.

So I have a friend in a sorority and she's somewhere between 30-35. I know a girl in her chapter who is in her mid-twenties.

The friend was like "Oh, you know [Jane]? She has a bit of a rep, huh?"

And I was like how so?

And she said, well she just seems.....fast.

Well, I happened to know that Jane was, in fact, the campus slut. But, my friend brought up a bigger issue of perception.

See, Jane would bring her boyfriends/dates/friends of the moment to EVERYTHING. Service projects, formals, etc. So her rep got tarnished because it seemed like she had a new man every month and she was pressed to bring him around to fellow members.

Knowing that our orgs can be on the conservative side, I would just say that women ought to be careful if reputation is something they care about. If you have a significant other, I don't believe a woman should feel like she can't bring him around. But if you're just dating dudes..... yeah, they don't have to be around sorority members.

[DSTCHAOS]

Yes.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Okay, so I am single and not a sorority member (clearly) but I feel like I have something to add to this.

So I have a friend in a sorority and she's somewhere between 30-35. I know a girl in her chapter who is in her mid-twenties.

The friend was like "Oh, you know [Jane]? She has a bit of a rep, huh?"

And I was like how so?

And she said, well she just seems.....fast.

Well, I happened to know that Jane was, in fact, the campus slut. But, my friend brought up a bigger issue of perception.

See, Jane would bring her boyfriends/dates/friends of the moment to EVERYTHING. Service projects, formals, etc. So her rep got tarnished because it seemed like she had a new man every month and she was pressed to bring him around to fellow members.

Knowing that our orgs can be on the conservative side, I would just say that women ought to be careful if reputation is something they care about. If you have a significant other, I don't believe a woman should feel like she can't bring him around. But if you're just dating dudes..... yeah, they don't have to be around sorority members.

I hate gossipy biatches. That applies to men and women. Not directed at you.

Do they really know the nature of her relationships with the dudes she brought? Maybe they did and maybe they are still exaggerating. I guess she may've been clinging on dudes too much for any of them to be platonic friends.

But that's very sisterly for them to let you know all of that about her (you just so happened to have already "known" her campus rep--what if you hadn't?). If they have an issue with Jane they need to holla at Jane about it.

rant/Other than that, I agree with you about just dating dudes and bringing them around. For me it's not about perception and what gossipy biatches may think and say. For me it's about having boundaries for potentially unimportant relationships. Taking multiple dudes who you are just "dating" around friends and family members is silly to me because it shows that you aren't too selective in who you introduce people to. I know of people who have had dozens of boyfriends (big no-no to me) and treated everysingleone like it was damn near marriage---taking them everydamnwhere and introducing them to everydamnbody. On some old "I am your rib, Adam" type stuff. Geesh, how do these people know when it's actually a real relationship that's actually going to go somewhere versus someone who is only there for a month or two?
/rant

[jojapeach]

My boyfriend attended my Founders Luncheon where I received our chapter's Loyalty Award. Now he'll be attending our Masquerade Ball as my husband. This will only be the second event for us. ETA: He probably won't attend the Ball again because he's not a dancer like moi, but he's supportive.

But it isn't necessary for your S. O. to attend everything.

@ Sensuret: Yeah..... a new man every month does make you look "tarnished". This young lady may still have a warped idea about having any man on her arm rather than THE man she's involved with. Bless her heart.

[Steeltrap]

My male friend, who has not passed into dating status at this point, has attended only two functions with me: our scholarship breakfast in 2006 and the debutante ball last year. I was not going to invite him to the breakfast, but several of my soror-friends basically talked me into it because they wanted to check him out. He enjoyed himself in both cases, but had to leave early because of other commitments. This is a man who is on the road because of business three weeks out of the month.

[RitaMae1908]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Okay, so I am single and not a sorority member (clearly) but I feel like I have something to add to this.

So I have a friend in a sorority and she's somewhere between 30-35. I know a girl in her chapter who is in her mid-twenties.

The friend was like "Oh, you know [Jane]? She has a bit of a rep, huh?"

And I was like how so?

And she said, well she just seems.....fast.

Well, I happened to know that Jane was, in fact, the campus slut. But, my friend brought up a bigger issue of perception.

See, Jane would bring her boyfriends/dates/friends of the moment to EVERYTHING. Service projects, formals, etc. So her rep got tarnished because it seemed like she had a new man every month and she was pressed to bring him around to fellow members.

Knowing that our orgs can be on the conservative side, I would just say that women ought to be careful if reputation is something they care about. If you have a significant other, I don't believe a woman should feel like she can't bring him around. But if you're just dating dudes..... yeah, they don't have to be around sorority members.

Good point!

[RitaMae1908]

My hubby has not been to any sorority events/functions with me as of yet. I just feel like he would be bored out of his mind and I would spend my time trying to entertain him and ultimately not enjoy myself. If it was a ball or something of the sort I would probably bring him along... but as for other functions it depends on what? Besides I feel like my time with the Sorors is just that "ME time" I need every once in awhile.

[SummerChild]

I agree with the perspective that I see my sorority time as my time therefore, I would not take anyone that I'm dating to a sorority event. Heck, I would have plenty of time to spend with him outside of sorority events. Further, like an older soror once told me about not taking her bfriend to sororital events and no one has touched on this but, just being real, I am not going to take anyone that I'm dating to an event that is bound to be a room full of attractive women (this is Alpha Kappa Alpha after all LOL). Why would I do that?

SC

Originally Posted by RitaMae1908

My hubby has not been to any sorority events/functions with me as of yet. I just feel like he would be bored out of his mind and I would spend my time trying to entertain him and ultimately not enjoy myself. If it was a ball or something of the sort I would probably bring him along... but as for other functions it depends on what? Besides I feel like my time with the Sorors is just that "ME time" I need every once in awhile.

[TonyB06]

Originally Posted by SummerChild

... Further, like an older soror once told me about not taking her bfriend to sororital events and no one has touched on this but, just being real, I am not going to take anyone that I'm dating to an event that is bound to be a room full of attractive women (this is Alpha Kappa Alpha after all LOL). Why would I do that?

SC

I am feeling your soror. I am feeling her.

ok, dipping back out

[PerfectVerse06]

Originally Posted by SummerChild

no one has touched on this but, just being real, I am not going to take anyone that I'm dating to an event that is bound to be a room full of attractive women (this is Alpha Kappa Alpha after all LOL). Why would I do that?

I can't even lie...I have thought about this before LOL!

I'm glad this subject was brought up because of a situation I had not too long ago. My boyfriend has been good about including me in any social events his chapter holds, so now that I'm Greek I've asked him to attend social events with me as well.

The thing is, I'm a neo and he's been a Nupe going on 6 years now, so the things that are exciting and fun to me (strolling, meeting new Sorors, etc.) aren't as exciting to him, and I don't want to take him with me if I'm gonna want to be all over the place. But rather than tell me he'd rather not go, he'll tell me he wants to support me and wants to go. And on my end, I'd offer him an invite because that is what he's always done for me, but deep down I know it would be best to go without him so he won't just be sitting there all night.

But we talked about it, and have come to an agreement that depending on the nature of the event, we'll determine whether or not it's a couples thing or if we're better off going on our own.

[AKA_Monet]

A former Directorate member brings her husband to ALL the public functions... They call him "Mr. AKA" and he relishes and enjoys coming to the functions...

My dad would be hurt if my Soror Mom did not let him come to the public functions. He loves those formals and "chicken dinners".

Now my husband, he has a tolerance level, and once it's exceeded, he cannot be pushed out the door in any formal attire. It's gotten to the point where he asks who is going to be there. He is not greek.

[Munchkin03]

I'm not AKA, but no. The boyfriends have never attended functions. Part of it was their not feeling it (more the college boyf than later ones), plus, as I got older, most of our alumnae events skewed towards "girls night out" sort of things where SOs weren't really welcome.

My sister, however, who is AKA, hasn't really had a SO who was comfortable, so to speak, in the BGLO environment. I'm sure the guys attended, but I'm also sure they stuck out like sore thumbs.

[Blacksocialite]

Originally Posted by SummerChild

I agree with the perspective that I see my sorority time as my time therefore, I would not take anyone that I'm dating to a sorority event. Heck, I would have plenty of time to spend with him outside of sorority events. Further, like an older soror once told me about not taking her bfriend to sororital events and no one has touched on this but, just being real, I am not going to take anyone that I'm dating to an event that is bound to be a room full of attractive women (this is Alpha Kappa Alpha after all LOL). Why would I do that?

SC

Wow...

[eduakator]

My husband ( 20 years +) comes to our annual dance. Other than that our AKA stuff is too foo-foo - besides its my time with the girls.