Informal Recruitment - problem we're having

UWO_2007 · #1 09-25-2007, 08:51 AM

OK, so there was girl that went through formal... she was rude to all the houses except for the 2 that she wanted to be in.... Actually told GPB that she didn't want them, she only wanted those 2 (we'll call them A&B) She was dropped from A, B, C, and D right away... she actually was called back by E. She "hated" (yes she used those words) E, and just didn't show up on pref night. Well once it was over she e-mailed our VP of membership/recruitment about out informal events. Our VP forgot she was at formal and that they cut her for not only being rude, but for grades as well. So last night, she shows up for our event, after being across the street at House A's informal event also. She seemed very anti-social last night, but smiled as if she never made the comment to our girls. But there were quite a few girls in the house last night mad that she even showed up last night after what she said.
So my question is this, if she was dropped for grades (I don't know what her GPA is, but most of them have the same) during formal, how can she be going through informal? Shouldn't PHC have told her she was ineligable for her grades? She was in my formal recruitment group, 3 out of 5 of us went to GPB... last night she stayed stuck to us for most of the night. (I don't think she realized that we have no say in the voting process) If she comes back to night, how should I handle her? I don't want to be rude to her, but there are other girls we have to meet and talk to, and because of how she was during formal, no one wants to talk to her...

Drolefille · #2 09-25-2007, 09:00 AM

Is your informal run by your PHC? Because if it's just left to the chapters then it is your VPM's job to keep track of that, not PHC. Also, dropping someone partially due to grades doesn't necessarily mean that her grades make her ineligible, she may be borderline.

If you meet her again, be as polite as you would to any PNM. You represent your sorority.

FSUZeta · #3 09-25-2007, 09:07 AM

talk to your chapters recruitment vp or another one of the executive officers and learn what your chapters gpa requirement is. let the initiated members handle any membership information sharing with this girl.

as violet said, you just be friendly and polite to this girl-she may actually have realized what a mistake she made and would make a good member. too many times on gc, we see pnms who have preconceived notions about which chapter they want to join, and by the end of rush their opinions have changed. we always hope that they haven't burned too many bridges by that time!!

UWO_2007 · #4 09-25-2007, 09:08 AM

I am not sure if it is run by PHC or not. I wouldn't be rude to her, I was just trying to figure out a way to be able to talk to other PNM's tonight since no one else wants to talk to her because of what she said during formal. How do tell someone that you need to talk to other PNM's in a polite way?? I tried last night, but it didn't work.She would follow us (the new babies) to the PNM's we were talking to and take over the conversation and bring it back to her, and the PNM's would walk off. I don't want it to look bad on us (the new babies) as we were all frustrated last night...

FSUZeta · #5 09-25-2007, 09:12 AM

talk to your officers, tell them the problem and maybe they will assign one of the chapters best rushers to this girl. are these open houses or are invitations extended? if the latter, maybe she won't be back.

UWO_2007 · #6 09-25-2007, 09:26 AM

I'm not sure if they are open houses or invites... I know last night they had their list of girls that they really wanted, and the maybes. The Initiated Members stated that they were being super picky this year on who they select because they have a lot of upperclassman and want good PNM's to groom to take it forward when they are gone. They are taking looks at GPA, leadership, involvement as usual but also at responsibility levels, organizational skills, how they juggle their time, and their poise.

Drolefille · #7 09-25-2007, 09:39 AM

Sounds like you need to talk to older members. They can give you the answers better than we can, particularly since you are so new and you don't have all of the info.

AlphaFrog · #8 09-25-2007, 10:08 AM

It's great that you want to jump right in and help your chapter...but your new member period is about sitting back, learning the climate of your chapter, and having fun while being fussed over by the rest of the chapter. Relax and enjoy your new member period. Let the actives worry about her, and if she comes back, let an active know what's going on, and they should be able to steer her away from you.

SydneyK · #9 09-25-2007, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UWO_2007

She was in my formal recruitment group, 3 out of 5 of us went to GPB... last night she stayed stuck to us for most of the night. (I don't think she realized that we have no say in the voting process) If she comes back to night, how should I handle her? I don't want to be rude to her, but there are other girls we have to meet and talk to, and because of how she was during formal, no one wants to talk to her...

You're right, she probably doesn't realize that NMs don't have a vote. But, it's easy to see why she might have stayed close to you during the party - you're who she feels most comfortable with. If she comes back tonight, and she sticks close to your group again, I'd recommend that you suggest she gets to know the members. You don't have to expand on that, you don't need to say why, or that you don't have a vote... just say, "You should really get to know the actives - you already know us!" That puts the difficulty in the hands of the experienced rushers.

UWO_2007 · #10 09-25-2007, 10:29 AM

thanks ladies!

violetpretty · #11 09-25-2007, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

as violet said, you just be friendly and polite to this girl-she may actually have realized what a mistake she made and would make a good member.

That was actually Drolefille but thanks for the credit

FSUZeta · #12 09-25-2007, 01:33 PM

oops!! apologies to drolefille and violet!!

to expand on sydneyk's suggestion, when you suggest that the pnm meet other members, escort her over to another member, introduce them and then excuse yourself from the group.

Drolefille · #13 09-25-2007, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

oops!! apologies to drolefille and violet!!

to expand on sydneyk's suggestion, when you suggest that the pnm meet other members, escort her over to another member, introduce them and then excuse yourself from the group.

Whatever, we're so over.

FSUZeta · #14 09-25-2007, 01:38 PM

i just knew it was a wise gc'er who had said it, so naturally i thought of you two first!!

SthrnZeta · #15 09-26-2007, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

to expand on sydneyk's suggestion, when you suggest that the pnm meet other members, escort her over to another member, introduce them and then excuse yourself from the group.

This is called bumping, and if it's done right, it works really well.

You'll learn all about it when you're an active. But definitely talk to the other actives and find out who the strong rushers are and have them help you. And I'm glad to hear your chapter is going for the higher qualities and not worried about numbers or looks. Go GPhiB!