Trying Again, Informal recruitment

[TAPchica09]

Hi all, I'm new...I've been reading/browsing this site for a while, and everyone is so helpful and nice that I thought that I might as well register. I have a question for all of you lovely ladies in sororities. You see my campus has informal recruitment in the fall. I tried to go through recruitment this semester but unfortunately I did not receive a bid, I didn't even make it to philanthropy night, . I'm not too sure why, but I've decided to stop overanalyzing everything and my Sigma Rho Chis told me - when they came to my room to inform me that I had not received a bid - that I should try again next semester. With that being said, I'm not sure if you need information about my campus or not...but I'll give you some about my campus and a bit about me as well (not sure if it's necessary and please forgive/excuse me if I'm overstepping boundaries or anything like that.)

I'm 19 years old (I will be 20 in June), technically a sophomore but with enough units to be a junior - although I'm still going to graduate in 2009, like I would be if I had not taken extra classes over the summer before and after I entered college. I am currently a proud member of Theta Alpha Phi (we sometimes call it TAP for short) - which is a national theater honors fraternity - I was a theater major before but I'm in the process of officially becoming a business major (we're actually letting our pnms go through pledging right now so of course, sorority recruitment is on my mind) and I'm also engaged to a wonderful man - but we're not getting married until after I graduate. Interestingly enough most people know me by a nickname and don't even know my full name - which was the name that was posted on all of my recruitment information. My college GPA is about a 3.71.

My campus is very small and in northern California, we have four wonderful NPC sororities on campus, and I would very much like to be apart of one of them. That being said, I'm going to take the time to get to know more of the sorority girls on my campus better. I do know a decent amount of women in sororities (but not as many as I'd like, I'm a shy person, more talkative once you get to know me - this is mostly due to issues with my past) - since it is a small campus, and you can often go a day seeing the same person three or four times. Juniors and sophomores are able to get in during informal and formal recruitment (freshmen aren't allowed to participate in informal - they can't pledge until the spring) without much of any problem.

So my question is, do you think that I should pledge next semester? I really want to - but I was so heartbroken this semester when I didn't get in and I know of course that I'm not guaranteed anything, so I'm well aware that I can just as easily be heartbroken again. I'm greatful for the opportunity to even participate in recruitment. Thank you so much for answering my question, and please excuse me for having a such a lengthy post.

[REE1993]

Just my first impression - if you go by a nickname that represents you r Theatre org, and also go by "the future Mrs J", the girls might not see you as your own person.

Try presenting yourself as "Sue" or whatever your real name is. When rushing, play up yourself, not your nickname, not your engaged status, or anything like that. It seems like people already know that stuff about you.

So think about who YOU are and how you can contribute to the sisterhood with whom you are pursuing membership.

Just my opinion, and good luck!

[adpiucf]

I disagree. I know plenty of girls in sororities who go by nicknames and honestly most people on campus didn't even know their real name. When I was in college, there was a Pi Phi who went by Buffy and a Chi Omega whom everyone called Ducky. I think we were seniors before I found out that Buffy's real name was "Andrea!"

The only case where your nicknames may have been an issue is in if they were voting on potential members and the name you were registered under for recruitment and the name you gave them at the door when you were at a sorority event were different. So maybe it was your name-- they just didn't know your real name and weren't able to make a membership decision on you.

From what you've told us, you sound like a real "catch"-- good GPA, campus involvement and socially adept enough to pledge a pre-professional sorority. Also, with there being only 4 sororities on campus and it being a northern CA school, recruitment would not have been as competitive as a school like SMU, UCLA, etc. Also, with it being a northern CA school, your class rank wouldn't be as important as a more competitive Greek school where freshmen are the primary desired recruits.


Give informal recruitment a try. If you don't get a bid, then I'd check sorority life off your list. Meanwhile, get involved on campus. If you're switching majors you may want to seek out some internships or opportunities with a co-ed business fraternity. Prepare for informal, be yourself and make a concerted effort to be a little more outgoing at the events-- smile, give complete answers when asked a question, and ask the sister recruiting you questions about herself and her sorority. Good luck.

[AChiOhSnap]

I agree with most everything that adpiucf said. However, even though you go to a small school, look around and honestly assess the class rank thing for yourself. If few or no sophomores/juniors got bids during informal and formal this year, that might indicate that your Greek system is relatively closed off to upperclasswomen. As a general rule of thumb, smaller schools that aren't in the South are more open to upperclasswomen and are less competitive, but this isn't always the case.

You said that you're generally shy. Plenty of shy women join sororities, but they probably made a concerted effort to be more outgoing during formal recruitment. Unfortunately, PNMs who have stellar qualities but who aren't very outgoing/are overly quiet are often overlooked during formal recruitment. Try to brush up on your small talk skills if you think that this applies to you.

Also, what REE said might apply too... I wouldn't go out of my way to emphasize your engagment/fiance/wedding plans during recruitment. I don't know whether you did during formal, but the vast majority of 19-20 year old sorority women aren't engaged and it might be difficult for some of them to relate to someone who identifies herself as "future Mrs. J." or whatever. It's probably not a big deal and I'm sure you already know this but make sure you're emphasizing who YOU are as a person.

Really those are just some minor nitpicky things you might want to be aware of, you really do sound like a stellar candidate for Greek life. I think you should absolutely try informal in the fall. Taking the time to get to know more sorority women is definitely a good idea and it will make the informal process that much easier.

And finally, just make sure to maximize your options in the fall. Go to as many informal recruitment events as you can at all the chapters that are holding events. I hope everything works out well! Good luck!

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally Posted by AChiOhSnap

You said that you're generally shy. Plenty of shy women join sororities, but they probably made a concerted effort to be more outgoing during formal recruitment. Unfortunately, PNMs who have stellar qualities but who aren't very outgoing/are overly quiet are often overlooked during formal recruitment. Try to brush up on your small talk skills if you think that this applies to you.

I agree with everything else that was said as well but thought this needed extra pointing out.

I am a generally shy person until I warm up to people and am definitely shy in a room full of people who all know each other. I hated recruitment but I still managed to find a spot in a smaller house on the campus I pledged at.

Use this semester to get to know some of the women in the sororities on a one-on-one basis. It will make informal easier next year.

[ONElove1997]

If things don't work out with the FOUR organizations on your campus there is the option of founding a chapter of any sorority that interests you if you have the time, and if your school is allowing new organizations on campus!

Just remember don't limit yourself, especially if there are only FOUR on campus, find and organization that feels right for you and do your research!