Wondering about Long Distance Relationship?

burgertown · #1 10-26-2006, 10:55 AM

Hello all and thank you for taking the time to stop by this thread. I have been dating a young lady for. . . roughly 6-7 months and honestly she confuses me. I decided to post this topic on this wall because I have been reading through the threads and posts for a while and have come to value your opinions/advice on many topics. Also even though I am posting this on a public forum I ask that you all not tell others offline about it. I apologize if I should not have chosen this place to post this or if I in any way offend you all with this. Thank you in advance for any help you may offer.

I met this girl off of an internet social site. I never had any intention of meeting her, but I became intrigued with her personality and mannerisms (I have a pretty easy job and signed up to help me pass the time), and as time passed on I took to liking her so much so that I wanted to meet her. As time progressed and we went on a few dates, some of which involved nothing but driving around and well I fell for her. She returned my feelings but not to the same extent that I had. As time went on I tried to be a good boyfriend doing all the normal boyfriend things, flowers, random gifts, phone calls, birthday (she forgot mine) and other things. At the moment and ever since I have been dating her she has been going through an abnormal amount of financial hardship. I have not been with her to see what I could get from her, but there are some things I did expect, such as mild affection (I have asked her in a more clever way “what have you done for me” and she answered “still talk to you”). In person she is very polite and respectful but on the phone she seems to take “advantage” of the fact that we live in different states. She does call and converse with me often, but I have asked her a few questions/favors and she refuses to do them. One is to change her relationship status on her social sites and the other is to forward me some information. She often states that she just acts mean when something is wrong, but sadly a lot of things are happening to her and not going her way right now. I feel like a failure as a bf because I should be able to cheer her up and help her when she is down, but honestly so much is happening to her that i am almost unable to handle it. I feel like all the work I am putting into the relationship is not being returned in any way. I truly do care for her and will do my best to help her as a friend.

My question is what should I do in this relationship?

Thank you in advance for any help you all may offer.

33girl · #2 10-26-2006, 11:13 AM

She's just not that into you.

End the relationship now, unless you enjoy being a doormat.

#3 10-26-2006, 11:18 AM

I think you can answer your own questions. If you are even posting your situation, I think, in the back of your mind, you already know what the deal is. If you want my opinion, I don't believe she views herself as "dating" you. I would use the word "using" you, whether it be for the gifts, attention, whatever....

Stop fooling yourself. Move on.

laylo · #4 10-26-2006, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

She's just not that into you.

Pretty much. I'm an old pro at long distance, and it doesn't sound like distance has jack to do with this situation. Get out of there, and don't be surprised if she starts liking you more when you do.

jojapeach · #5 10-26-2006, 12:27 PM

As much you care about her, she doesn't care about you. You cannot make her like you and suddenly want to return the affection and treat you right. She doesn't sound like she's capable of such an epiphany.

Save yourself! If she starts calling again, she doesn't want you. She wants your attention or your help. Not you. Something better is out there for you.

Laylo is right about her liking you once you're gone. It's an unwritten rule of relationships.

Rain Man · #6 10-26-2006, 01:14 PM

I hate to see a good man get played like Willie Lump Lump the chump, so I'ma give it to you straight:

Kick the chick to the curb and keep it movin'.

You have nothing to gain from this but disappointment and heartache, I guarantee it. If you don't listen to anyone else here, listen to me 'cause I've been there and done that, and I ain't goin' back to the bulljive no more.

I'm for real. You need to drop her like a bad habit 'cause you can do better 'cause you deserve better.

I wish you the best in your endeavors.

pinkies up · #7 10-26-2006, 08:04 PM

^^^Co-sign. She's not interested in you. Take it and walk way. Don't let this one bad experience deter you from treating your next girlfriend with respect. Just make sure that she shares the same type of interest in you that you are showing her.

hellocutie · #8 10-26-2006, 09:46 PM

Think about it like this: If someone else had posted this situation, what advice would you give to them. There are a lot of fish in the sea, so throw the pirana back.

burgertown · #9 10-28-2006, 12:36 AM

Thank you all for taking the time to give me advice. I truly do appreciate it.