Troublesome recruitment questions

[DifferentDances]

I have a couple of questions I really would like some input on from other sororities who have been through COR after structured informal recruitment and/or formal recruitment. Whatever insights you can offer would be greatly appreciated.

1. How can you politely but firmly tell a PNM who didn't get a bid during formal recruitment and is going through COR that she will not be extended a bid even after COR? Is there any nice way to encourage her to go through recruitment the next semester while simultaneously pointing her away from your organization?(KLPDaisy's original response helped me clarify my thoughts. Thank you!)

2. If your campus has some sort of Panhellenic recruitment process and then COR, what do you do about PNMs who went primarily to other organizations' events and seem to be 'settling' for your group during COR because they did not receive a bid from the group(s) they originally snubbed you for? (With Formal Recruitment and bid-matching, some girls go to their second or even third choices, but, as I understand it, that's not necessarily made known to the groups unless the PNM tells them.)

Are we justified in asking why they chose to take a second look at our sorority? Are we entitled to know why they originally overlooked us in favor of another group? Or are these questions impossible to bring up politely?

I hope I'm not offending anyone; my purpose is to try to get some additional, external perspectives on these situations, as I think my sisters and I may be too emotionally invested in our opinions (and perhaps pride) to see straight.

[Edited for clarification]