Self-Improvements in Light of Past Relationships

[SummerChild]

Ok Ladies (and Gentlemen),

On this road called life during which we are (presumably) striving to better ourselves, it seems that past relationships afford one opportunity to examine and improve ourselves.

Question: What have you learned in light of your past relationships about yourself that may not have been pretty? How have you grown/improved yourself in your current/future relationships in light of your discovery?

SC

[abaici]

I've learned...

- I cannot become someone I'm not in order to appear more pleasing

- I need to be honest, but not hurtful with people

- You have to put your heart into it. It's risky, but eventually it will pay off


I have improved by leaps and bounds. I really took time to reflect on my actions and what I need to improve on.

[BlueReign]

I have evolved to this state of mind:

I do what I want to do.

I think of me first. (Yes, INDEED the world does revolve around me. )

[skeeliteful]

Where do I begin?

--Never put someone's happiness before my own; Never spare my feelings to appease someone else

--I have to love myself before I can love someone else.

--Listen to that voice in the back of my head.

--Don't be afraid to ask for what you want.


I'll be back with more

[Wonderful1908]

Not really past relationships but......

- The world does not revolve around me and what I want when I want it!

-My purpose in life was not to push a Benz and shop in the Galleria (though these things can be a blessing if appreciated)

-Being strong does not = being a beeeeech!

[Gyrl7]

I've learned that I cannot make people be what they are not. In my last relationship, that was the biggest problem. I thought I could try to turn someone into a man when in reality they never wanted to leave the child like state they were in.

[StarFish106]

I learned to accept people where they are and decide if i want to stay there or leave.

I learned people will do whatever it is they feel like regardless of how much they say they love/care about you.

It's ok to say what you want in a relationship and if/when you needs aren't being met, you may have to walk away.

Being by yourself is NOT a bad thing..I actually like being with me and me alone at times.

Sh!t happens..keep it moving..

God Always has a plan, even when you don't think anyone knows what is going on! He always does..trust in that.




Happily married to my best friend since 10/16/04!

[Proverbs31]

I've recently had to realize some of these...

Do not be naive.

Be patient with love, it will find you. (translation: don't spend your time "searching" for your soulmate)

Don't confuse lust with love.

It pays to take heed to the advice of those who truly care about you.

Pray and ask God to heal the hurt.

Let go and Let God.

**still working on some of those**

[#1 Leading Lady]

The lesson that took me the longest to learn.......

Money can NOT replace love. No matter how much $$$ he gives you, it doesn't replace Love, Faithfulness, and Quality Time.

If your conscience, body, mind, and soul are telling you to let go.....Listen and Let Go. It may be hard but you can move on. I am here on earth today because I B]LISTENED[/B] to that inner voice.

I agree with all comments posted before me.

[aephi alum]

Interesting topic.

I've learned not to compromise. There are certain qualities that a man must display if he wants to be with me. On a few occasions, I compromised just to be with someone, and I got burned.

[TheWriter]

Originally posted by Proverbs31
I've recently had to realize some of these...

Do not be naive.

Be patient with love, it will find you. (translation: don't spend your time "searching" for your soulmate)

Don't confuse lust with love.

It pays to take heed to the advice of those who truly care about you.

Pray and ask God to heal the hurt.

Let go and Let God.

**still working on some of those**

I agree wholeheartedly with your post.

I would like to add:

-Don't ignore warning signs(if you smell trouble from the beginning, don't try to change it , leave it ALONE!)

-God has a reason for you to be alone. Take the time out to improve yourself, socially, spiritually, physically and mentally.

--Everyone is not going to want to be with me

--You have to accept that fact and move on

--If he doesn't like me for me then I shouldn't want to be with him anyway

--I found someone who loves me for who I am and I wouldn't want it any other way

[luminarysoul]

I learned to take risks.
and
I learned that being single and happy sure beats being taken and stressed

[SummerChild]

Oh my fault, I started the thread and never posted.

I've learned:

Just be open, honest and share your feelings, even though it is risky
The world does not revolve around me
No games, no games, no games

[unspokenone25]

Originally posted by SummerChild
Oh my fault, I started the thread and never posted.

I've learned:

Just be open, honest and share your feelings, even though it is risky
The world does not revolve around me
No games, no games, no games

i want to piggyback on that SummerChild. i am learning so much in my present relationship (first really serious relationship) that i feel the need to share.

take responsibility for your actions (stop placing blame on your family for what you do in the relationship)

the world really does not revolve around me

listen, listen, and listen

don't be scared of being with someone that you love

don't be afraid of losing someone you love

don't be afraid to let someone that you love into your life

if you really love someone, you have got to trust them