R These Signs of Cheating?

BetteDavisEyes · #1 11-19-2004, 11:24 AM

My brother has been in a relationship with a girl for the past 3 years. Lately, he's been extremely secretive & has been shying away from family functions. When he does come, she rarely attends anymore. My brother has been fighting with my mom b/c she's nosy as hell & can't mind her own business over the state of their relationship.
The other day, she left to work while he dropped off her daughter at school. Two of my sisters went to her work for some coffee & she was not there. They were told that she was off that day but she had told my brother she had to work.
I know it's flimsy but I am starting to worry. Maybe it's too early & I know it's definitely not my business but I have always liked her & her daughter. This would definitely be major blow if she's stepping out on him. I don't want to overstep my bounds which is why I'm going to let them handle their own affairs but I'm confused.
Also, she has threatened him repeatedly that if he doesn't marry her after a while, she's leaving out of state.

kappaloo · #2 11-19-2004, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BetteDavisEyes
My brother has been in a relationship with a girl for the past 3 years. Lately, he's been extremely secretive & has been shying away from family functions. When he does come, she rarely attends anymore. My brother has been fighting with my mom b/c she's nosy as hell & can't mind her own business over the state of their relationship.
The other day, she left to work while he dropped off her daughter at school. Two of my sisters went to her work for some coffee & she was not there. They were told that she was off that day but she had told my brother she had to work.
I know it's flimsy but I am starting to worry. Maybe it's too early & I know it's definitely not my business but I have always liked her & her daughter. This would definitely be major blow if she's stepping out on him. I don't want to overstep my bounds which is why I'm going to let them handle their own affairs but I'm confused.
Also, she has threatened him repeatedly that if he doesn't marry her after a while, she's leaving out of state.

Sounds like they are having relationship issues. Since he is also affected, it could be that your brother told you she was at work when in reality he knew what she was doing.

It's not your business. Just be there for your brother through this rough time - but don't meddle. He probably has enough worry and paranoia in his brain if they are having relationship issue - don't add to it!

sageofages · #3 11-19-2004, 11:33 AM

UNLESS you have concrete evidence (photos of her naked in bed with another man) MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS...and even then think long and hard about telling anyone what you know.

romantic relationships are between the parties involved ONLY! If they are having trouble, let them work it out (or not) themselves. Meddling will only turn to backfire on you big time.

Just be polite to her, and supportive to your brother.

XOMichelle · #4 11-19-2004, 12:50 PM

If you are worried you might be able to offer your brother a sympathetic ear. "You look like you've been stressed out lately, what's going on? Is there anything I can do to help?" Knowing that someone is behind you is always nice.

valkyrie · #5 11-19-2004, 01:29 PM

Maybe she just doesn't like his family? I don't know how close she is to your two sisters, but maybe she was at work and just didn't want to see them? Maybe your mom drives her nuts with her nosiness and she doesn't want to be bothered?

I really have no idea, but it could be another explanation.

Peaches-n-Cream · #6 11-19-2004, 01:37 PM

My advice is to stay out of it.

UKDaisy · #7 11-19-2004, 01:54 PM

I know that everyone is saying to stay out of it, and I agree. But at the same time - you are curious/ or worried enough that this bothers you NOW. What about January/Feb when it could still go on? There's going to be a point in time where you're going to go crazy!

I agree with lending a sympathetic ear. And I think its good that you and your sister went to have coffee with her one day. Perhaps maybe plan another event like that. Does she like you and your sis? Maybe just stress some individual time with her and your bro. And maybe with her just kinda be like "omg i am so stressed about this and this...." and maybe she'll kinda open up a lil.

We all know that girls get a lil crazy sometimes.

So maybe this is just "i'm stressed and I need some me time" kinda of thing.

So while I would stay out of it and not be like "brother your wife could be a ho" *note - really don't say that*

Just lend an ear and let it be known to both parties that you care about them.

XOMichelle · #8 11-19-2004, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BetteDavisEyes

Also, she has threatened him repeatedly that if he doesn't marry her after a while, she's leaving out of state.

This is one of those things that's no good. It's his life to do with as he wishes, but I don't think marrying anyone under pressure is a good thing!!!

madmax · #9 11-19-2004, 03:48 PM

I think your brother is cheating with another guy.

BetteDavisEyes · #10 11-19-2004, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by madmax
I think your brother is cheating with another guy.

Real mature loser. Just shut the fuck up if you don't have anything constructive to say k?

Anyway, I'm actually the only member of the family she does like. She's never liked my other sisters nor my mom & the feeling is mutual. Apparently this has been going on for a few months now but we are just starting to learn of it. She is rarely home leaving my brother to take care of her child. I will stay out of it & mind my own business but this can only go on for a while.

CutiePie2000 · #11 11-20-2004, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by XOMichelle
I don't think marrying anyone under pressure is a good thing!!!

I don't think marrying someone under pressure is ever good either, however from the girl's perspective, maybe she wants to know if he will ever marry her, or if she is just "Ms. For Right Now" and maybe he's keeping her around until he meets someone else that he *DOES* want to marry. Remember that quote from Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally"? It went "It wasn't that he didn't want to get married, it was that he didn't want to marry ME".

AchtungBaby80 · #12 11-23-2004, 12:13 PM

Come on, now...are there ever any signs of cheating? Usually if they're smart, they cover it up really well. You know how the partner's always the last to know? Well, there's a reason for that.

Maybe she's having problems that have nothing to do with your brother. Whatever happens, you can always be there to support him.

cashmoney · #13 11-23-2004, 01:43 PM

I say get all up in the mix....he's your brother. On the contrary, If I had a hunch that my brother's GF was cheating I probably wouldnt say anything being as I know he cheated on her. They were highschool sweethearts and now college sweethearts. They'll probably get married, in fact I'm sure of it, but he really can't say anything if she did cheat.

winneythepooh7 · #14 11-23-2004, 01:50 PM

The fact that she doesn't like your family and vice versa is a bad sign. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your relatives and if there are riffs now there will be major riffs in the future. It doesn't sound like either one of these people are meant for each other IMO. Also, my family has always known when a guy was wrong for me, so I think that in itself is a good thing. I think this applies in your situation as well. Maybe voice your opinion *gently and respectfully* once, other than that, he needs to make his own decision.

Kevin · #15 11-24-2004, 11:21 AM

It definitely sounds shady. It's hard to cover those things up for too long. I could tell you all kinds of great stories, but I won't. Just know that eventually, the truth will come out.

When it does though, it's between your in-law and your brother. My advice to you, just play the role of a supportive relative and don't get into their business. When it comes ot something like this, it's a very private and often embarassing subject for both parties. Usually, a third party will do nothing but make things more complicated.