Worried about Friend...

[SiKeS]

So a fraternity calls up my "anti-greek" friend yesterday and invites him to a rush party. He agrees to go but then calls up and begs me to come with him... After arguing for a while I agree to come but only to look after him because I had heard that this particular fraternity was a little shady...

So anyway we show up and the guys are very nice and give us the whole rush treatments. I manage to stay sober-tipsy while they get my friend drunk as all hell...

What really bothers me about that night is that this fraternity encouraged us to drink tons of alcohol and then brought us into a room and tried to get us to sign... First time meeting them and drunk.

For one that tells me that this fraternity is more worried about filling the house than worrying whether or not their rushees are a proper fit for the house, and two that they are desperate. Red flag right away. I obviously didn't sign, but I was worried about my friend...

I came to look after him, but I failed. I walk in the room about 10mins later to see my friend drunken, signing a bid card. They did not explain to him what it meant or anything.. Just pressured him into signing it... which he did.

Later when i was taking him home, my friend puking out the side of my window, he told me that he doesn't know what he signed and wished he had waited...

What are you thoughts about this? Is my friend screwed? Is he able to back out of it? I think the whole thing is pretty messed up..

[winneythepooh7]

Your friend can always back out of anything. We always have a choice and if we are not comfortable we shouldn't go through with it. Case in point, I pledged another GLO one week illegally (I was a transfer and transfer students couldn't pledge then). Anyways, within one day of pledging starting the girls turned into nasty evil crazy bitches, yelling, screaming, wanting us to run up and greet them and light their cigarettes on campus and stuff. They also did mixed call-outs with a frat on the campus. I got out real fast. Not everyone was like this in that organization but the few who were I couldn't take. My org happily excepted me after that awful experience. Your friend should find and organization he feels comfortable with and even be honest about his experience why he didn't want to go through with the other house.

[steelepike]

dude that sucks that it happened, those guys are obviously going about rush the wrong way. Hopefully your friend backs out and he does think all fraternities are like that.

[TSteven]

Originally posted by SiKeS
What are you thoughts about this? Is my friend screwed? Is he able to back out of it? I think the whole thing is pretty messed up..

If your friend does not want to pledge *any* fraternity at this time, then he should be able to simply withdraw.

However, if he is now interested in Greek life, but does not want to pledge this particular fraternity, then your friend should contact the Greek Affairs Office and see what his options are at this point. And if he does not want to speak with the office himself, then you might want to offer to do so on his behalf.

I would also suggest that he (you) not go into detail with the Office as to *why* he wants to withdraw. Especially if he is interested in other chapters. Frankly, if he was to say he got drunk and signed, then he may come across as a screw-up. My suggestion would be to simply state something like "I signed a bid with ABC and realize that we are not a good fit. I am still interested in joining a fraternity and I'm wondering what my options are at this point."

One other piece of advice, if your friend does withdraw, please suggest to him that he send a letter of regret to the chapter letting them know that he is doing so. Again, keep in simple and not go into any detail as to *why*.

[Kevin]

Any contract signed while you're under the influence of any mind altering substance is not enforcable. If your friend wants the bid card back, he can ask. If they don't give it to him, just go to the Greek Life advisor and let them know what happened. I guarantee he'll be released.

Does not sound like a group you really want to be involved in. Choosing the right house is a very important decision. You need to be fully aware of what you're doing when you do it.