This is gonna sound so stupid... but I'm worried...

[H0neymoon]

Ok, before I whine on, I'm gonna say that this is gonna sound crazy and superficial and barely worth talking about, but it's something I'm worried about and I figured you guys were the best people to ask, since you live it. Ok here goes...

I've always been the 'good-lookin-girl' of the group and have never had a problem attracting guys, so I guess, in a way, I've grown accustomed to getting a lot of attention. I've heard that being a part of a sorority brings out insecurities in everyone and can lead to all sorts of problems.. depression, bullimia, etc, But what's it really like... is it really like every girl is stunning and internally it's like you are fighting a battle of the beauties?

I sound materialistic and shallow, probably because deep down I am... and I know that being a part of a sorority means so much more than this, and I totally completely respect that, and there are so many amazing aspects of sorority life and what being a sister really means which draws me to future sisterhood. But this, for some reason, has been playing on my mind for the last few days and I've needed reassurance from friends and boy 'friends'.. it's pathetic really, I know. I guess it's just coming from London, England I don't really know what to expect. I'm probably just freaking out about settling in and stuff like that.

Anyway, I had to get that out of my system. Thanks for listening anyway. You guys have been really helpful since I joined this forum!! xxx

[Tom Earp]

Well, to be honest with you, coming from a Home Country to a new one, intrepidation would be on your mind!

As you can see, most of the time, you will find support not only on GC, but with a Greek Organization who will surround you with love and caring!

Not to worry, You will find people whop will help, Aide, Abet you when you need it!

[James]

On every campus there is a chapter that is less attractive, join them. That way you will stand out and get more of the better looking guys.

I am half way serious about that, Honestly darlin' your british brogue will give you many brownie points with the boys anyway, as well as the novelty of being foreign. Thats assuming that you aren't a real dog. Even facial features and a slender body go a long way in america.

Have you looked at the barbie thread yet?

Oh, I don't think you are being that superficial, you are just being honest in a way that others are uncomfortable being.

[James]

Barbie thread:

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showth...threadid=47155

[H0neymoon]

Thanks guys! Very interesting thread!! It looks like I'll stand out simply for being a brunette barbie! haha

[cherrycola]

no offense hun but you do sound shallow
but that aside, I don't think being in a sorority is going to make you any more supseptable for depression than just being away from home, if any thing having a group of friends would make you better adjusted.
BTW- I am sure you'll be noticed where ever you go

[justamom]

Exactly HOW do you pronounce your sig??? I'd like to know prior to a serious response. I am afraid I'm not reading it correctly and therefore have the wronge image in mind.

[thetalady]

Originally posted by H0neymoon
I've heard that being a part of a sorority brings out insecurities in everyone and can lead to all sorts of problems.. depression, bullimia, etc, But what's it really like... is it really like every girl is stunning and internally it's like you are fighting a battle of the beauties?

PLEASE..... go find whoever told you this enormous load of manure and smack them. No, of course not "every" girl is stunning anywhere, on any campus, in any sorority.

Hopefully what a sisterhood will do is help you grow up and out of these insecurities, teach you to rely on your inner strengths and develop the self confidence to look BEYOND superficial exteriors. Hopefully they will help you look beyond this weekend's party at the future you are headed for.

That's what my sisters did for me

[PM_Mama00]

I think every woman have insecurities. I was always the bigger girl hanging out with the cool crowd and always felt awkward. Joining a sorority where there were girls like me made me feel better about myself. And when I say "girls like me", I don't mean just bigger girls. I realized that skinny girls have some of the same feelings that bigger girls have.

[sugar and spice]

I don't think this is a particularly shallow question -- it IS a legitimate concern in some chapters.

I know that last year before rush, I was frustrated with some body image issues (gaining weight from dorm food, etc.) and rush did NOT make that easier. Of course the anxiety over it is worse than the actual experience, but I didn't look forward to spending two weeks talking to size zero prom queens and ex-cheerleaders when I was already unhappy with my body.

The way I feel is basically that if you've got bad self-esteem, being in a sorority might put you in a lot of situations that emphasize that. If you're anything like most girls, you want to look good for big events -- and being in a sorority means tons of crush parties, formals, mixers, rush parties, and other stuff that you want to look good for. If you're the type of person who's constantly measuring herself against other people and always thinks she comes up short, being involved in a sorority might emphasize this. Some people might blame this on the sorority itself but I don't really think that's the case -- if you have generally decent self-esteem, a sorority is not going to make it bad.

Sororities have a reputation for encouraging eating disorders but again, this is not a problem that only sororities face. The same thing happens in high school cafeterias, ballet and gymnastics studios, and women's dorms around the country . . . Basically, it all depends on what chapter you end up in. Most of the girls in my chapter have a relatively healthy attitude towards eating and exercise -- maybe a little neurotic about the working out at times, but nothing that I would consider unhealthy. One of our past presidents was suffering from anorexia and the sorority was one of the things that actually made her get help for it. On the other hand, I'm sure there are chapters of sororities out there where the girls encourage each other to puke after dinner.

I hate to say "It all depends," but really that is what it comes down to. If you don't have the best self-esteem and you get caught up with a bunch of girls (sorority or not) who are way into the dieting/overexercise/eating disorders, you will probably get into it sooner or later . . . if you are hanging out with girls who are relatively healthy about their body image, you'll probably be "dragged up" to their level (so to speak). Like I said, this isn't a sorority thing per se -- it's something that happens whenever you get a bunch of girls together. My high school cross-country team affected my body image issues more than my sorority ever will, for example.

As for the rest of your post, I'm not going to lie -- I think that a lot of girls that end up joining sororities are girls who were the center of attention in their social circles in high school (not just in terms of looks, but a lot of other things as well). It can be really hard for girls who used to be the "alpha" to be bumped down to beta or gamma . But this is definitely not the case in all sororities, and even when it is, the benefits usually outweigh the drawbacks -- you just have to keep in mind that YOU are the same girl even though the women surrounding you might be prettier, smarter, more talented, more popular or more charming than the ones that used to be there.

[kddani]

Originally posted by H0neymoon
While I read that last post, I should just point out that my link didn't work because the photos were in Tiff format, but i've converted them now and the link should work... so again, for those who are curious to see what i DO look like...
http://www.angelfire.com/mac2/fairy/index.html

I'm not quite sure why the pics were necessary, unless you're looking for us to reaffirm your belief that you're hot stuff......?

[starang21]

well, she has a nice body....maybe i'm being shallow.

Originally posted by kddani
I'm not quite sure why the pics were necessary, unless you're looking for us to reaffirm your belief that you're hot stuff......?

I was thinking the same thing.

Some people need that kind of validation to get by in life.

[mullet81]

Originally posted by James
On every campus there is a chapter that is less attractive, join them. That way you will stand out and get more of the better looking guys.

I know a few girls that did this. they were the "gorgeous girls" in high school, always had the attention of men everywhere they went and couldn' stand to not have it in college especially with so many beautiful women around. So they joined a sorority with few "face" girls and felt great about themselves. Whenever pairings came for different events, the fraternity guys in the paired fraternity always wanted to hang out with these particular girls, they easily got elected to chapter offices, other girls in the house as well as oher houses wanted to hang out with them, etc... hey it worked for them and kept their self esteem high, but i thought it was pretty lame

depending on the campus you are going to, your fears may be unfounded. I can honestly say that in the beginning, I felt inadequate at times on my campus... there are some drop dead gorgeous women here. But in the end i really think you start to realize the inner beauty of yourself and the women around you and take pride in being associated with women of outer beauty.

[starang21]

i don't get it. why do so many women justify themselves through how much attention they get from men? or am i just crazy?