Whats your opinion on this situation

KamikaZee03 · #1 05-06-2004, 12:19 PM

Ok,
this is my first thread on here, so I hope Im within the guidelines. But I have a question.

A good friend of mine is a Spring 2004 initate into Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Inc. Im very happy for her b/c now not only is she a very good friend but a soror too. But we were out one night and ran into a guy she knew in highschool, they were real tight but never got around to dating, flirted alot and knew the others feelings towards them, They've been "talking" off and on for years. Well come to find out he is Frat, well at first he was cool all hugs and love but stop returning phone calls the whole deal. Me being me I pull him to the side and ask whats wrong? He tells me that He's still has feeling for her but cant and will not react on them b/c she is now a Zeta. I feel really bad for her b/c they were about to get together before she started her process. (FYI: He didnt know she was interested in ZPB or even consider sororities). I just want your opinion on the situation. I really feel bad for her and hate to see her like this, I mean she should be happy right now but the man she loves and wants to share it with has shund just b/c she is a zeta. Im asking for opinions and advice for her. She's just really confused & hurt

random6_1920 · #2 05-06-2004, 12:49 PM

I don't understand....He is frst and doesn't like his sorors, or does her just put Zetas on a pedestal and refuses to date them. Yes, we are brother and sister organizations, but we are individuals first. Frat and Sorors date and get married. Well, if he feels the way he does, then just let it be. If it were meant to be, it will happen. Maybe not now, but some point in time they will either get together or go on their separate ways.

msn4med1975 · #3 05-06-2004, 05:51 PM

I agree with random, that is too bad that he feels that way. Did he explain why cause I would have wondered? I mean it's not like something inherently changed about her just cause she's a Zeta now. That's strange.

ladygreek · #4 05-06-2004, 07:57 PM

I would have thought her being a Zeta would have been even more reason for him to pursue the relationship. Sounds like he is guilty of "excuses."

ZETA_ACE2003 · #5 05-07-2004, 02:05 PM

I agree with Lady Greek. Tell frat to hit you with "excuses" one time!

It might be better this way, at least she is seeing his shady ways before getting involved.

DeeZetaLady · #6 05-08-2004, 04:57 PM

i'll have to agree that it sounds like he's using that as an excuse. as someone who was in a relationship w/ a sigma for 3 years, you can't let a person's affiliation be an obstacle. she is still an individual. i truly think that the sigma/zeta bond me and my ex have is what triggered our relationship, and i'll always treasure our relationship. so maybe it's a blessing in disguise. but i do know people who won't date frat/sorors, because of the whole issue of everyone in their business. Lord knows i had to deal with that! i guess it's an individual decision, though.

Finer Woman10-A-91 · #7 05-10-2004, 11:07 AM

I love my frat as my brothers. I have on rare occasion dated them. On a personal level it keeps your personal lives...personal...no blue and white pillow talk. And let's face it, once you date one Greek... especially a high profile Greek, you kill your dating pool exponentially. Ask me how I know

Don't worry...dating within the family really just takes a high level maturity, patience and discretion...discretion...there goes that word again.

KamikaZee03 · #8 05-21-2004, 02:27 PM

Unfortunalty for soror, she got her heart broken...picked up the pieces and moved on. It was a bad experience but hasnt affected her about dating Frat, fellow greek or any other man for that matter in the future
She took ya'lls advice (I know she is lurking on this board somewhere, just too lazy to register...lol) and last I heard was livin up the single life in the bahamas for her birthday

IMO he was shady from the jump, I look at him as a person and not as frat. I think he was full of BS and thats the only excuse he could come up with. Dating frat can get sticky at times and it takes discretion & maturity, guess he wasnt mature yet

(I hate to gossip but....) Come to find out, his reason behind being shady was he has a girl (who so happens to be a soror) in another state w/ a 2 month old daughter

He was concern that since their both sorors now they would meet and find out about his double life he has been leading....aint that some ish?

msn4med1975 · #9 05-21-2004, 02:52 PM

Well we knew there was more to the story. Shucks for him, and hope she has fun in the Bahamas.