Disaffiliation

I really need some help.

I pledged my chapter in January, after investigating ALL of the national sororities (and I do mean ALL). I fell in love with XYZ, and I stuck it through the entire pledge process. I liked my chapter, although they were experiencing some internal difficulties at the time I pledged (which I didn't learn about till just recently).

So, now it's October, I'm a full-flegded member, and I couldn't be more miserable. There is a considerable amount of corruption and rule-breaking (I understand some rules may be archaic, but some other rules are there for a reason) going on, and I don't feel as if I can be a part of it anymore. I have tried my hardest to recruit new members (our numbers are very low), and boost house morale, but I don't feel like my efforts are being appreciated, or even acknowlegded.I know you get out what you put into it, but I've put so much into it, that I feel my other endeavors are suffering. The people currently in charge are more concerned with having parties with fraternities (which violates our alcohol rules) than saving the house. They aren't as community-minded as I'd have liked---I organized an altruism effort, and 5 sisters showed up, two of which did NOTHING. Recruitment events, and even chapter meetings are ignored and missed.

So, as much as I love my sorority, I can no longer be an active member with a clean conscience. I am, however, more than willing to pay dues to the National Headquarters, and not to my chapter. Is this possible as a collegiate---to become either an alumna member or a simple "member-at-large"? I want to remain a member, but I can no longer be affiliated with the chapter.

[33girl]

Frustrated,

First off, I'm sorry that your experience has not turned out as you would have liked. I'm also sorry that your chapter sisters weren't more straight up with you during your pledge period.

I'm going to assume that when you were initiated, you took an oath in some form to protect and support the sorority. That means supporting your chapter, too. Granted, you pledged to XYZ - but you pledged AB chapter, and that is the first area where you need to be loyal to your sorority. For better or worse, that is the school you are at, and that is what the XYZ chapter is like there.

Remember you are a new sister, and that might be why your efforts are being ignored. Think about how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot - if you were an old sister and a new sister came in and started saying "this sucks and that sucks."

Try getting in contact with some of the alumnae and express that you're afraid the chapter is in trouble and you need their help. Alums should be the first people you turn to when it seems everyone else has "tunnel vision." They were there and they know what it's like, but they also have been away long enough to look at things objectively.

Like I said, for better or for worse, this is the chapter you have pledged yourself to for your college years. If you want to truly help and support your national sorority, hang in there and support this chapter and help strengthen it, rather than walking away and washing your hands of it.

33Girl gives excellent advice. You are doing all the right things so far.

Does your national sorority ever send in chapter consultants or officers to work with chapters? If so, it sounds like that might be extremely helpful at this time.

[etfonhm]

Does your nationals have an undergrad alum status?? If they do, they usually award it for women who get married, or pregnant, or have to leave due to other circumstances. My mom was an AAC for XYZ and she awarded a lot of them. Check with your nationals.

PS. I sort of know what you're going through. My chapter is having lots of inner problems now, and our president is not helping...only perpetuating the problems...I was close to disaffiliation, except for the fact that I love *some* of my sisters and the fact that I'm recruitment chair this year (and next!!)

Good luck with everything

[Crimson Diva]

Frustrated: Does your sorority have an advisor? Most Collegiate chapters must have one.It seems that she would be there to assure that the sorority operates and fufills the requirements of the national organization. I can almost feel your pain through the post. I believe you can join an Alumnae chapter, but how many years do you have left in school? It will be ackward turning your back on your chapter. Keep throwing out ideas, try to organize some fun, but simple things to do. Maybe you can do a few community activites with the fraternities to start things off. If that gets them motivated, then go for it. Hang in there and I'm sure things will get back on track with them or new members to come!!!




------------------
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc.
Answering the Challenge: Sisterhood, Scholarship & Service

[Tiara98]

Everyone who has replied has offered excellent suggestions!

I would reccommend that you strongly consider hanging in there. Hopefully, it's safe to say that many GLO members encounter at least one extremely stressful intra-org situation during their membership. The problems you are describing do not strike me as all that uncommon.

You don't always feel like you get out what you put in, but rest assured that this is not the case. Loyalty is almost more important during troubled times. If you are a new member, chances are that you have a few years left before you graduate...things within the chapter could change dramatically by then, and if you've stuck it out, you will feel a fantastic sense of pride when you see the impact your efforts have made.

Bear in mind that now, as an initiated member, you have a voice in things like recruitment. Don't sell yourself short. There are reasons that GLO affiliation looks good on resumes...namely, it is a lot of work and provides a LOT of leadership and teamwork opportunities. In a team, there is a great deal of compromise, conflict resolution and patience involved. These are learned skills. And like any skill, you won't excel if you bow out because you're frustrated.

I feel for you, as I'm sure many others can. We've been there, we still visit there every so often, but my best advice is to try and stay optimistic, and hang in there. Everything happens for a reason, and you could be a godsend for your chapter.

[This message has been edited by Tiara98 (edited October 06, 2000).]

[33girl]

bump

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

check this out - back when threads were started by "guests".

[USCTKE]

we actually had a guy quit last night so it is kinda funny that yall bump this thread back up now. He got pissed because he was an officer and was NEVER doing his job, didnt show up to meetings, or to social events, wasnt organizing things that he should have been organizing so we took the proceedures we thought were correct to remove him from his office (which we we wrong about the process) and he took offense to it and just quit, stormed out of our meeting last night and everything...it sucks, but he took what happened the wrong way and had he been doing his job it never would have happened.

[Kevin]

Originally posted by USCTKE
we actually had a guy quit last night so it is kinda funny that yall bump this thread back up now. He got pissed because he was an officer and was NEVER doing his job, didnt show up to meetings, or to social events, wasnt organizing things that he should have been organizing so we took the proceedures we thought were correct to remove him from his office (which we we wrong about the process) and he took offense to it and just quit, stormed out of our meeting last night and everything...it sucks, but he took what happened the wrong way and had he been doing his job it never would have happened.

Doesn't sound like a huge loss. Don't let your organization sink to the point that it tolerates mediocrity. If an officer isn't doing his job, he should definitely be removed. You did the right thing.

Given all of the information above, this guy was in the wrong and is no loss to your chapter.