We had to put my cat down yesterday

[Jen]

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[valkyrie]

{{{hugs}}}

I completely understand. The hurt will go away, eventually, but it's never easy. It probably doesn't make you feel any better, but you and your family gave Spice a loving home and were there with her until the very end, which is a wonderful thing for a kitty.

I don't know if this will be helpful or not, but someone on LJ just posted this in honor of her kitty who just passed.

[Sister Havana]

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is very difficult...they aren't just dumb animals. They're members of your family and you should grieve like you would for a member of your family. Don't feel guilty about feeling so bad at all!

*hugs*

[Jill1228]

Jen, I am so sorry! Hugs!

[decadence]

Aww ariesrising, (((hugs))) you poor thing! You did the right thing for Spice of course, kidney problems are common in older cats; sometimes they fade away, sometimes they're in pain. Now she's at rest. Try not to feel guilt, there's nothing you could have done.

I think a whole lot of people out there get it, understand how something being a part of your life for so long, growing up with you is important to you. Do a search on gc for the words rainbow bridge and you'll find a whole bunch of examples of just how it's not a trivial thing :-). And I'm sorry right now your friend isn't being a friend when it matters.

So, does it go away? In time. Like valkyrie and others said, it's a bereavement. Though not a human Spice was a part of your life and hopefully time will heal. Try to think not that she isn't but concentrate on that she was.

Here is a link to a poem (thank you GeekyPenguin) called the Rainbow Bridge which might help, at this time.
http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

- Richard

[Hootie]

Oh I so know where you're coming from sweetie, and I'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss. My family had to put our dog down almost a year ago (on March 13th). It was the hardest thing EVER and the experience was far worse for us because of what happened while at the vet's office.

The pain will go away, but there will be times when you think about your cat and you'll tear up. Or you'll see a picture and smile. I think the hardest thing is to get over the dreams following the event. I had a couple devistating dreams last year shortly after we put our dog down, and I'd wake up crying. Of course it didn't help that I live alone and couldn't be comforted by family members in the morning.

It's tough. Only time can heal broken hearts.

[AOPIHottie]

Sweetie, I wanted to cry just reading this....my cat Kricket is the same way, if she were to leave me, I would be devestated. She is really like my daughter, and the day she is too sick to go on, will be the most terrible day of my life. Here is a HUGE hug to you, and I know, in time it will get better. Remember how much you loved your baby, and that she is in a place where age and health issues can't bother her ever again. And I am glad so many people get it here at GC.

[navane]

Awww....I am so sorry. You must be feeling so very sad right now. I can understand how you'd also feel sad, guilty and stupid all at the same time. I don't think you're lame....losing a much loved pet can be very hard. This is especially so when the pet was a source of comfort or many years of happy memories.

Maybe you can save a little cat toy that Spice liked and put it up on a shelf somewhere? That way, every time you see it, you can think of all of the happy memories.

You know, my dog was 13 years old when he had to be put down last year (on February 16, 2003). I was living in England at the time and I wasn't even there to be with him for his last moments. My family went through some struggles over the years and I think our dog was the one "person" we could count on! He always knew how to make us feel better! It sounds like Spice cared about you too!

I hope, in time, you will feel less and less sad and instead you'll have more and more nice memories of her.


.....Kelly

[mmcat]

{{{hugs}}}}
my hearts with you. i had to do it, too.
kit e. was pushing 20 when the kidneys started to go. i remember sitting in the vet parking lot in a windstorm and crying my eyes out.
time will lessen the hurt, but you always will remember with love.

[wishinhopin]

You are definitely reacting in a normal and understandable way...and anyone who doesn't get that isn't worth your concern right now. Your kitty is in a better place (although I know you'd still rather she were with you) and I'm sure she knew how much you loved her. Maybe being away from your family let her feel like she could let go. I know cats are really sensitive about when and where they will choose for when they pass on, and most cats will go someplace out of the way to do so. I personally think it's because they know that if they're with their family, they won't ever be able to allow themselves to leave...they're around too many people who love them! I doubt this helps much, but just know that people here understand and are here for you. Big hug, I promise it'll get easier!

[KillarneyRose]

I am so sorry and I completely understand your grief

[greeklawgirl]

(((((ariesrising)))))

I am very sorry for your loss. My family had to put down our very loved dog last year. We were devastated. Pets are members of the family, and it is OK to grieve their loss. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[Rudey]

This is the reason I don't want any pets. You become attached to them and it's just too hard. But I really really reeeeeally like animals

-Rudey
--I'm sorry for your loss and hope it gets better

[honeychile]

(((((ariesrising)))))))

I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty. I've been there, as have SO many others on GC, and we all care. Pets are not just animals, they are members of your family. Pawprints on your heart aren't erased overnight.

Allow yourself time to grieve, in whatever manner comes easiest to you. I hope Spice has found a sunny windowsill in the hereafter.

[AXO Alum]

Hugs to you - I am sorry to hear of your loss. I want to echo the sentiment that you are not dumb for feeling such grief. Pets are with you every single day - every minute that you are home, they are nearby to you. When you are sad, they know it - and will cuddle with you (if you're lucky ). When you are frustrated, they are there to listen to you, and when you are happy - they are all frisky and enjoy sharing your happiness!

The hurt will lessen - but you will never forget them. My ferret died a year and a half ago, and not a day goes by that I don't think of him -- or "fuss" at him when I see a mess (since he was often the source of messes!) But over time, the hurt is replaced by the love in your heart and the knowledge that you did the right thing...even if you question yourself about it, you definitely did the right thing!!

Don't know where you are, but I am almost certain that there are grief groups for pet loss in your area -- don't laugh -- they are wonderful groups that allow you to share with other people what your pet meant. And they also allow you the chance to help heal other people's hurts through your own experiences.

If nothing else, go to the Rainbow Bridge site and leave a memorial message for Spice! That site was such a huge help to me!! Good luck to you -- I will be thinking happy thoughts, and asking Hobbes the ferret to please make sure that he shows Spice around