Romance is officially dead

[AXJules]

In honor of V day...
Ok so there's this hilarious article in the Chicago Tribune, only it's not supposed to be funny:


Sweet things a sig other has done for you

I read half of them, and cringed b/c if someone did that for me I'd be like, WTF???? Are you out of your damn mind???

Let me say that I think the stupidest little things can be romantic...but wrapping yourself in Saran wrap?? UGH!!!

So that got me thinking...have you ever had someone do something for you that was supposed to be totally romantic, and you found it weird/funny/not cool? Or your friends?? And is there something wrong with me or some of the people that wrote into the Trib??



Example: My best friend's ex got a new printer and software, and made little stickers of her senior picture. He stuck them all over my damn house, her house, his car....she thought it was absolutely amazing. I thought it was a lil four letter word starting w/the letter 'G'.

[33girl]

I agree Jules, those people are gross!!! The only one I liked was the third grade one.

One time this guy sent me one of those cheesy fake diploma-looking things you can get personalized (this is before widespread computer usage) and he spelled half the words wrong, including my name. The result was that I came to understand why everyone always said Metropol is a good place to break up with someone.

[GeekyPenguin]

I just loved the baby diaper. That would just make me swoon.

Lockport freaks.

[honeychile]

I wasn't able to read the article, but I did have someone do something romantic for me that was VERY cool! I was Sweet Sixteen, and my then-boyfriend made an entire comic book about the Princess Honey and how the good Prince J. saved her from a live of blue shoes!

Should I mention that he hated my blue shoes?

[Peaches-n-Cream]

I thought the article was intentionally funny. A man can't go wrong with flowers, candy, and jewelry.

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

Guys get to the heart of true love
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February 8, 2004

Romance is full of surprises--and so are you guys. After Q asked readers for their most romantic memories, scads of women, and three men, responded. Are men more romantic, or are women more eager to kiss and tell? You couples can argue over that (think of the great makeup sex). Most of the romantic gestures involved kind thoughts, not big bucks; and men only got better in the romance department with time--meaning husbands ruled.

Take a peek:

My husband left one of our son's diapers on the kitchen counter on which he had written this message in brown crayon: "You've taken enough s--- lately. It's time for you to be pampered." Inside the diaper was a gift card for my favorite spa.

--Laura Rezek Boehmke, Lockport

One cold morning, I was reluctant to get out of my nice, warm bed even though nature called. My darling husband (who sleeps sans pajamas) got up and warmed the toilet seat for me. He also wrapped himself in Saran Wrap one (kidless) afternoon and waited for me to come home. I worked late, so when I finally did walk in, I found a charmingly sweat-soaked man in plastic wrap holding a lukewarm glass of wine.

--Marian Taylor, East Dundee

I was returning from a business trip one cold, snowy night. After struggling with my bags and keys, I kicked the door open and flipped on the lights. On every cupboard door were pictures of flowers! They were taped on the refrigerator, stove, dishwasher and walls. On the table was a big bouquet of fresh flowers. The day before, my husband, Jim, had received his first flower catalog and immediately knew just what I needed: a touch of spring.

--Patty Spannagel, Arlington Heights

I was six months pregnant, new to Chicago and in a new job. One day, I lost my front denture--but I could hardly call in after a week on the new job! So off I went, feeling like a "Jerry Springer" guest. I vowed to keep my mouth shut and pick up a pack of Chiclets on the way to work. As I approached work, I spotted my husband standing on the corner grinning (he has all his teeth). He had found my tooth and raced downtown in a cab to give it back to me. Fake teeth beat roses most days!

--Kathleen Graham, Chicago

I was pregnant with our second child and had wanted to get a pedicure before delivery (there is something about having pretty toes when the rest of your body is not so pretty).

Unfortunately, I went into labor with very unattractive toes. Before we left for the hospital, my husband sat me in a comfy chair and gave me probably the best pedicure I have ever had.

There was something so sexy about seeing my hunky 6-foot-3-inch husband painting my toes hot pink. I will never forget his genuine concern for my happiness.

--Jennifer Lynch, Clarendon Hills

My girlfriend was an independent, self-sufficient, modern woman. However, she took pity on my poor hapless soul, recently divorced after 25 years of marriage, living alone, struggling to do ordinary chores such as laundry, dishes and dusting. While I had a pretty good handle on most of these, cleaning the kitchen floor was an onerous task I put off far too long. Much to my surprise and delight, I returned home one evening to find that she had stopped by my place and scrubbed it to a sparkling finish. We are now married (and employ an equitable division of labor in our home).

--Bob Johnson, Chicago

A few weeks before our wedding, my husband-to-be suggested that he take my last name so we could carry on my family name. I was thrilled. We didn't tell anyone, except the priest the day of the wedding. So when he announced at the end of the ceremony that he would like to present "Mr. and Mrs. Dunham," there was silence, surprised faces and giggling. I think that was the most romantic thing ever.

--Joan Dunham, Lake Geneva, Wis.

When I was a mere lass in the 3rd grade, my beloved dropped (romantically, of course!) a golden-heart charm and a quarter on my desk. I was so enraptured, I kept them for many years. (And a quarter was big money back then!)

--Becky McCormack, La Grange Park

I was moving out of my apartment and it had to be cleaned so I could get the security deposit returned. I had just been diagnosed with bronchitis and was wiped out. My boyfriend at the time just showed up with cleaning supplies and a room key to a nearby hotel. He said he didn't want me to breathe oven cleaner fumes while I was so sick, so he sent me to the hotel to rest and use the sauna. He cleaned my entire apartment, including the oven and stove. That was one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me.

--Mary Britton, Matteson

While I was in California, preparing to sell the house and pack up to move here to be with the man who is now my husband, we missed each other a lot. The nights were especially hard, because I missed snuggling up. One day I got a package at work from him. I opened it up and there was a full-length body pillow. He also had taken a paper plate, drawn his face on it, earring and all, and attached a rubber band to it. The note said, "Put the face on the pillow when you miss me and cuddle up."

--Karen Busic-Miller, Riverside

One cold morning, I was having a dreadful time putting on my tights. I am disabled, and some days the magic is there and some days it is not. This was a no-magic Monday.

I was in the bedroom attempting to get ready for work to no avail, when I started crying. At that moment my husband popped his head in the bedroom to kiss me goodbye. He saw the difficulty I was having, got on the floor and proceeded to try to understand how to put a pair of tights on my body. When that feat was accomplished, he sat on the bed and told me he loved me and we could handle anything life tossed at us. I believed him then, and I believe him now.

--Mary Rose Kozicz, Chicago

Thanks, love birds. Diary will run more of your romantic tales on occasion.


Copyright © 2004, Chicago Tribune

[lovelyivy84]

That last one is beautiful. The rest of them are silly, but that last one is the kind of love most people wish they had.

[Rudey]

How come it's always a guy doing something for a girl? The girl is sick, the girl is sad, the girl is a parapalegic.

-Rudey
--Double standards and I won't take it anymore!

[lovelyivy84]

Originally posted by Rudey
How come it's always a guy doing something for a girl? The girl is sick, the girl is sad, the girl is a parapalegic.

-Rudey
--Double standards and I won't take it anymore!

Because Valentine's Day is essentially about men securing sexual favors from women for an extended period of time. Do good on Valentine's Day and you're set for a good three months at least. Do bad, and you're not getting any for a long time.

Most of the gifts that women get men are essentially for themselves anyway. Like buying lingerie etc. Unless she buys him power tools, it's really a gift for her that might involve him if he doesn't fuck up.

I remain skeptical about this holiday.

[sororitygirl2]

The guy putting the tights on the woman made me smile - that is a truly kind story. I also like the one about the boyfriend who cleaned the apartment and sent the sick girlfriend to the hotel.

But what about the one who sent a body pillow to his girlfriend at work?! That would be an embarrassing package to pick up from the mail room! For real... where was his head? Oh wait, drawn on a paper plate. Lame.

[KillarneyRose]

The one about the guy painting his pregnant wife's toenails before she went to the hospital to give birth was sweet. Only a woman who was at one point physically unable to bend over and touch her own toes could truly understand this!