Hazing Experience

[ydu0lc]

I've read through many of the posts in here regarding hazing (okay, I read a lot) and would like to give my opinion on the issue as someone who has been through hazes before.

I never though of myself as someone who would go rush for a fraternity, let alone even showing interest in one. Yet here I was during my second year of college, despite my friends wishes, rushing for a fraternity that I believed would provide me with something which I felt I was lacking in my college experience. I wasn't there for the girls or the booze, just the brotherhood. Oh sure some of my friends tried to change my mind, saying that it will be as if i'm buying friends, or that the fraternity will haze me like there's no tomorrow, and that it's not worth it. I really can't explain it to them, but it's just something I felt I wanted to go through with.

I went out to rush with an open mind, and decided to check out a bunch of the fraternities, yet somehow I was hooked on a certain fraternity that I first looked at and never looked back. The people were friendly, they seemed to hold a lot of the same ideals that I was looking for, and we just totally got a long and had a lot in common. I remember only asking the hazing question once, and should of noticed the warning signs when the member didn't clearly give me an answer, only a half-hearted "not really." I went to the following rushes and ended up receiving a bid. I was totally thrilled and was on a high for a few days, since I thought my college experience was going to be much improved during my days of pledgeship.

We had a lot of same rituals that a lot of you might be familiar with, such as wearing your pins for most of the day, study hours, work outs, and different "events." Right from the first day of pledging, most of the members took on a different gameface. They would get up in your face, many times screaming so loud and furiously you can feel their spit hitting you head on. Some of the things we had to deal with were constantly being locked in a bathroom as a group while being blindfolded listening to music blaring, lead to places outside of the house (still blinded) and forced to do certain things which I will not go into detail, working out til we feel we are going to pass out, consume large quantities of alcohol, or dropped off somewhere miles from the house and forced to find our way back home.

I put up with this for weeks, and feel so angry and disappointed at myself for putting with this kind of sh1t. I didn't do it because I wanted to "belong", but I looked at is as a test of my masculinity and my loyalty to my pledgeclass. However, in time I started to realize that I am selling myself short by allowing myself to endure these things. I eventually de-pledged, not before telling each of my pledge bro's my reasoning behind the decision. I knew I was doing the right thing when they couldn't give me a real reason why I should continue the pledging.

To this very day, the pledging period has an effect on me, as I still go into fits of anger and sadness thinking about all the things that happened during my pledging quarter. Why was I so weak to let myself be put in situations where I can endanger myself, and end up hurting my real friends and family members? I am glad I dp'ed though, because that is not the type of brotherhood I would ever want. Don't fking kick and beat my spirit down to the ground and then at the end of the day telling me I'm a true soldier and that I should never give up....this isn't the damn military and no one should put up with this when pledging for a fraternity. Why must I be broken down physically and emotionally so that you can laugh and try to make me dp, only to give me a pat on the back at the end of the day and wait for tomorrow so that you can try to make me suffer again?

There were many members that seemed to enjoy seeing our pledge class suffer, insulting us verbally and making us suffer physically during workouts while attacking our emotions with various techniques. Then there are those actives who are there to encourage you and give you words of wisdom. This just makes everything more complicated during pledging for me, since I wonder why everyone can't be like the second group, the ones who encourage you to succeed and work together as a group, rather than the ones who only want you to break up. I guess the second group of guys is what made me decide to take the abuse longer than I should have, since I can really feel a connection with them. In the end, it wasn't worth it though.

However despite all of this, I believe hazing in a fraternity is something that can be beneficial to achieving brotherhood/sisterhood. However, to what degree of hazing? That is the main question. I'm sure you've all seen this already, from collecting signatures or having friendly scavenger hunts, when is hazing not acceptable? I believe as long as the fraternity realizes to what degree hazing is acceptable that it can really help the house and the pledges learn/respect each other more. But when you cross the line and do things that are just plain mindless, steps must be taken. Who is going to be around to tell you what is acceptable or not though? You never really hear about the hazing that is beneficial to the fraternities/sororities...no, we only see the hazing that causes emotional trauma, injuries, and sadly death. Arggh, I'm kind of rambling now and lost my train of thought, sorry if I confused any of you. The main point I'm getting at is some forms of hazing is healthful and a necessity, while others are just plain cruel and stupid.

I don't see myself reporting this fraternity into my school though, since I feel that almost everything that was done to me was voluntarily, I always had the choice to leave. It doesn't help that some of my close friends just crossed into the house and they have been through so much. I just regret putting in the time and effort for an organization that I don't believe in.

There are some other frats which I am still interested in yet haven't known a lot about since I only rushed for one frat during the fall quarter. However after all that I've been through, I don't know if I can handle the emotion and work involved to rush again, mainly because a lot of my faith has been lost due to one bad experience. I just hope this post can give you some insight from someone who's on the other side of hazing.