Crying all night, praying all day

ilovemyglo · #1 03-24-2003, 05:25 PM

So as we have discussed before many of us have friends and family abroad. Well last night all of the war stuff on tv really got to me. I was up all night with burning eyes and crying my head off. My best friend is over there, and everytime I hear about a marine that is hurt, or killed, or lost, I start bawling all over again. I know he doesn't want me to be like this and I know that he needs strength, so when I write him I tell him jokes and about all the good that is going on. I didn't tell him about my cervical cancer, or about my upcoming surgery.
So, here is the worst feeling in the world: hearing that someone is hurt over there, one of our troops, and finding out that it isn't him. It is truly the BITTERSWEET feeling I have never had before. My best friend is still safe (hopefully) but someone else is out there hurting and mourning for their family and their friends. How do I deal with this? All day I just pray at work and do my job, but in the back of my head I keep praying, I get home and cry all night long. I feel inconsolable. I don't know what to do to make myself feel better?! I just want to crawl in a hole until everything is over.

I really cannot deal with these emotions. My brother and I are so close and last night he just sat there and let me cry, knwoing there is nothing to say or do to make me feel better. He just reminds me that we are doing this for a reason and to trust in God.

Well, Mr. God- IT HURTS! I WANT MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS BACK! I want the people in Iraq to have fairness and equality, I want them to be able to watch untainted news and decide things for themselves and I want them to become a part of a better world, without biological weapons, and UN Inspectors having to keep their leader in check. But I yearn for the comfort of my friends' voices and to hear them laugh.
And I fear for the change in their eyes when they have returned.

lifesaver · #2 03-24-2003, 05:57 PM

Yo G.

I am sending you a big ole texas hug.

At times like this, try not to think about it. I know its hard, but you'll drive yourself insane otherwise. Know that they arent too scared. They train and train and train, so that when this happens, they dotn have to think, they just act.

I used to be a lifeguard at a huge waterpark. I was terrified to think I might have to save soemones life, but we trained all the time and when it actually happened, I didnt even think about it... I was a machiene.

Generally speaking, our boys and girls will be ok. This wont last too long and we have already won the war on paper. You worry about the stuff you can controll, the choices you can make. thats it. Turn off the TV. Now. spend soem time away from it all with ilovemyglo.

Remember, our grandparents dealt with this for 4 years and Sadam is a kindergartner compared to Hitler. Think what they had to go through. Or Delt Alums generation who did like 10 years of this stuff, even after it was mas evident that it was a lost cause after year 5. And the civil war was on our own turf... in your backyard - KY and TN. More peeps died there than all of the foregn was combined. Yet, they went on...

Fundamentally, were a waring nation. 20 wars, 200 years of existance - one every 10 years. For our generation, or wars, Bosnia, Afghanistan or Gulf War I was artificially sanitary. Thats not war. Were bound to have another big one with real losses. If its not this one, it will be another. I am just glad its Iraq and not China or something. Theres like 6 of them for every one of us. We'll survive. Its the cost of our freedom. I hope the protesters value the freedoms they have even more so. These boys and girls are fighting for it. Without wars, wed have no freedom. If it wasnt Iraq, it woul dbe soem other dumb ass trouble maker. I trust bush. Hes got the info I dont. He ultimately is held accountable to us. If hes full of shit, and cant prove that he did this for anything other than polls, I'll be one of the first to throw his ass outta office in 2004. Until then, lets give him the benefit of the doubt. Just be grateful this isnt Vietnam when half of you campus woudl already be off in a jungle somewhere. If it were the chinese, you'd be at boot camp right now learnign how to shoot. Seriosuly.

Well be OK. Now go get hammered. On me. Heres a 50. lol

OUlioness01 · #3 03-24-2003, 06:34 PM

the only thing that's getting me through this time is my diary...and writing letters. I have written a total of 18 pages to my friend over in the middle east region. it helps me pretend like i'm talking to him. i won't actually send all those pages, just an abbreviated version, but it helps me feel closer to him. the fears that i can't even write a pretend letter about are all in my diary. when you feel that even that won't help, TURN OFF THE NEWS and watch a movie (only watch comedies-no romance or drama, that will not help). hopefully the laughter in movies will give you a break from all the cares you have weighing you down. don't stop laughing and smiling, and try not to watch war coverage all day.

XOMichelle · #4 03-24-2003, 07:56 PM

It's hard isn't it? Our military wishes come at such a high a price. Did you hear about that matience batallion? So awful, they got lost and got captured. And since they only have basic training, they were less adept at defending themselves.

This is the most annoying question: But why can't we just get along? How different are we across the nation and across the world that we can't give up some things for others that are clearly more important? It sucks. We as people suck because we can't get rid of grudges, prejudices and fears. We also suck because we inevitably have urges to be violent, and can easily justify it. uck! I am so angry with humanity. We blow.

KillarneyRose · #5 03-24-2003, 08:06 PM

Hey Michelle, would it have killed you to maybe say something comforting and get off your stupid soapbox for a minute or two? The last thing IlovemyGLO needs right now is another of your supercilious diatribes.

Maybe a little of this alleged compassion you have for the rest of the world could be directed at one of your fellow Americans?

To me the most annoying question is why can't you just pull your foot out of your mouth and shut the hell up?

And as for humanity "sucking" and "blowing", speak for yourself.

amycat412 · #6 03-24-2003, 08:19 PM

KRose and XO Michelle I love ya both but I don't think Michelle's comments should be taken so literally.

We as Americans have it good. We know that. It is hard to imagine the standards of living the Iraqui people have had to live with under the dictatorship of Hussein.

It would be a lot easier if we could all just get along. But throw one crazy, manaical, power hungry dictator into the mix and there is no getting along.

Removing him is the shot at peace and getting along that we have.

Peace cannot be had w/o Hussein being out of power. My opinion, only.

ilovemyglo -- oh hon, I am sorry you're feeling so scared about it all. A lot of us are right now, that does not make it easier, but know that you are not alone. We, as a country are there w you.

AOII_LB93 · #7 03-24-2003, 08:50 PM

Times are very hard for you right now it seems, my thoughts and prayers go out to you in your time of need, espcially getting through cervical cancer. That must be horribly frightening, and to compound the issue is that of personal loss with a friend in a very dangerous place.

My prayers go out to our soldiers, but you have a heck of a lot to deal with on your plate for yourself right now, so my prayers go out to you as well. Get healthy, get through your surgery, and concentrate on your being around to welcome your friend home from the middle east.

aephi alum · #8 03-24-2003, 09:07 PM

ilovemyglo - I wish I had some words of comfort for you.

I hope your friends come back safely, and that you get through your surgery and recover from your cervical cancer.

Take care.

AOIIalum · #9 03-24-2003, 11:05 PM

ilovemyglo, I too wish I had the "magic answer" for you right now. Heck, I wish I had it for all of us who are scared, hurting or confused right now. I'm so glad you have your family to help you through this, it was comforting to read of your brother's love and care of you last night. I hope you feel the same, because you aren't alone!

I'll be in Louisville soon, PM me if you'd like to meet while I'm there!

<<Hugs>>

Christin

AGDLynn · #10 03-24-2003, 11:28 PM

Saying a prayer for you too!

Loyally!
Lynn

ilovemyglo · #11 03-24-2003, 11:50 PM

I am doing better, last night was just bad. I made myself not watch tv today, instead I made out bachelorette party invitations for this weekend. I have a wedding for my brother coming up. So I have a lot to be joyful for, but I am still hurting. I just wrote him about ten pages to tell him all kinds of stuff.

As for the surgery, I already had the cancer stuff taken care of, it is okay, I was in a car accident a year and a half ago and that is what the surgery is for.
BLAH!

I just need my best friend back!

RUgreek · #12 03-24-2003, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ilovemyglo
I am doing better, last night was just bad. I made myself not watch tv today, instead I made out bachelorette party invitations for this weekend. I have a wedding for my brother coming up. So I have a lot to be joyful for, but I am still hurting. I just wrote him about ten pages to tell him all kinds of stuff.

As for the surgery, I already had the cancer stuff taken care of, it is okay, I was in a car accident a year and a half ago and that is what the surgery is for.
BLAH!

I just need my best friend back!

I'm sorry this is such a difficult time for you. We all care about the soldiers fighting over there. Keep your head up, try to stay happy because that's what your friend would want. And if possible, don't get addicted to the news, it's just not healthy.

- RUgreek

AlphaGamDiva · #13 03-24-2003, 11:57 PM

i loooooooove you, girl. you know i feel ya and you can call me if ya need me.....i'm only an hour away!!!!!!! we'll go out soon and drink our pain away! haha! are the boys ready?

liep,
big booty

texas*princess · #14 03-25-2003, 02:16 AM

ilovemyglo -- I'm sending another big 'ol Texas hug your way! I hope it can help you out if even a little! Keep smiling

Peaches-n-Cream · #15 03-25-2003, 01:39 PM

ilovemyglo, I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time. I really don't have the right words to comfort you, so I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that helps.