Maybe you 2nd year students (or others) out there can give me some advice...as we get closer to the day we drop my daughter off at her college home, she seems to me to be getting less and less confident. Whatever choices she makes when she gets to school are certainly hers alone to make. But I'm afraid she's already ruling things out before she gives them a try.
At this point in her life, I see myself as my daughter's coach. I try to share my life experiences, and those of others, in an effort to help her see the choices she has in front of her with some benefit of hindsight. (I'm pretty happy where I've ended up, so I'm not trying to re-live my life through her.) When my daughter decided to attend a big school, we discussed how important it was to find a niche on campus. A big campus can be a lonely place if you don't. She told me not to worry--she'd continue to participate in concert band or orchestra and would try to join a sorority. (The second part scared me a little at first and that's how I found greek chat!)
Now that it's getting closer she's decided not to audition for band or orchestra and not to go through sorority recruitment. In the big scheme of things, that's okay, as long as she finds a niche. But I'm afraid she's making these choices because she's afraid of an unhappy outcome. I've always encouraged her to take risks; it's frustrating to me that she's already discounted a couple good opportunities to find a community on campus before she's even gotten there. Not to mention all those clothes we bought for her to wear
It's hard for me to imagine that she'd have a difficult time during recruitment. The greek system at the school she's attending is trying hard to grow. My daughter had better than a 4.0 average in high school, she was in the dance club, band, orchestra, and on the swim team. She's attractive, petite and has a great smile. She's not really outgoing in new situations, but she'll happily strike up a conversation when people talk to her.
I haven't really reacted to these recent developments. I know she's got mixed feelings about leaving her friends and family (mostly friends
). I'm trying to figure out what the most effective way to help her find her niche. I've drafted a letter to leave in her dorm when we drop her off. It's filled with the last minute advice I want to give her (go to class, eat right, call home, etc.). Here's what I wrote about recruitment in that letter. Any thoughts?
>>>I can’t tell you to join a sorority—and I’m not sure whether or not it’s a good idea for you. I don’t know much about Greek Life there—but I do think sorority life would give you a chance to feed your feminine self. While there has been partying on college campuses forever, it is my recollection that the Greek women at my school tended to care about how they were perceived and held themselves to a higher standard of behavior that a lot of independent women. All I encourage you to do here is to look beyond the stereotypes and at least go to the orientation for rush. Make your decision one day at a time. If it’s right for you, you’ll know it. If it’s not, you’ll know that too. You’ll end up where you’re meant to be. Don’t be afraid to take a risk going through rush, you have many qualities the houses are looking for. You have great grades, good extracurricular activities and the world’s prettiest smile! Any house that doesn’t see that is obviously not the place for a great girl like you.<<<
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