Bridesmaid in need of advice

fullertongreek · #1 08-20-2003, 03:32 PM

So i'm going to be in a wedding for a sorority sister. I was the only one asked from our GLO (even though I know many other sisters thought they would be asked). I was honestly very touched that she asked me until one of our mutual friends and sister decided to apply for the bridesmaids position and asked my engaged friend if she could be in the wedding. Before my engaged friend could answer this girl started talking about being in the wedding without having heard a yes. I'm very very irritated that she did that because being a bridesmaids doesnt consist of ASKING the bride to be if you can be in her wedding. I was honestly very honored that she only asked me from our GLO but now i'm just so pissed off at this girl and what she did and my engaged friend didnt have the heart to tell this girl no so she's in the wedding too!

Does anyone else agree with me? I want to say something to my engaged friend but I dont know if its my place. Help!

Lady Pi Phi · #2 08-20-2003, 03:39 PM

That was very classless of this girl. It's not her place to ask. The bride will decide who she wants in her wedding party and who she wants at the wedding.
I don't know whether it really is your place to say something to the bride, but maybe you could ask her feelings on this situation. Ask the bride if she really wants this girl at the wedding. The bride needs to stand up for herself. this his day (and of course the grooms), and she should have the people she wants there.

#3 08-20-2003, 03:55 PM

I agree with Lady Pi Phi. This is the bride's [and groom's] special day, and she gets to choose who is in her wedding party, not her friends, family, or sorority sisters!

Being that the bride felt that she wanted you to share in the joy of the wedding as a bridesmaid, maybe it'd be okay to talk with her just so she has someone who can listen to her. Is she not okay with this? Or has she accepted that there will be one more person in the wedding party...or two, considering there will be an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen?

Either way, I think it'd be a good thing to talk it out. The only people allowed to have their way on this day is the bride...and maybe the flower girl if she decides to be tempermental.

fullertongreek · #4 08-20-2003, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine
Is she not okay with this? Or has she accepted that there will be one more person in the wedding party...or two, considering there will be an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen?

After this girl self-proclaimed herself a bridesmaid, my friend did mention that she felt that she may have asked her but the thing is she didnt ask her and we've already ordered our dresses. So something tells me if this situation didnt come up, this girl would never have been asked if she hadnt already been asked. ya know?

but yeah the whole equal number thing is being taken into consideration and the groom doesnt know who he's gonna ask so add that to the list of problems.

grrr i know its not my wedding but i would be fuming if someone did this to me!! i cant believe how calmly shes dealt with all this.

FeeFee · #5 08-20-2003, 04:07 PM

I wouldn't get all worked up if I were you. Sure, the other person exhibited lack of class by asking to be part of the wedding, but if the bride-to-be doesn't seem to have a problem with it, then hey, it's her day. She can have as many people as she wants in her bridal party. Just have your dress ready for the wedding day and celebrate your friend's wedding!!!

aephi alum · #6 08-20-2003, 05:26 PM

That was VERY tacky. You don't just invite yourself to be a bridesmaid. If anyone had tried that when I was getting married, not only would I have said no, their invitation might have been, er, "lost"

Perhaps the bride could put her in a truly hideous dress? "I've decided to have each of my bridesmaids wear a different color dress in xyz style. The options are burgundy, navy blue, hunter green, and bright orange with purple polka dots. I'm afraid the first three are already spoken for, but you'll look just great in orange! Especially with this coordinating yellow butt bow!"

(I know... I'm mean

)

Seriously... don't worry about it. Be honored that the bride chose you.

AOII_LB93 · #7 08-20-2003, 07:04 PM

While tacky and not at all in good taste to ask to be a bridesmaid, the bride did not speak up on her own behalf and you said she took it calmly. It seems to me that it's over and done with. As it's the bride and groom's day to celebrate, I'm sure if the bride really objected she would have said something by now. You are there to be in the wedding and be supportive, not to cause more issues for her as planning a wedding is stressful enough.

It seems to me(again my opinion here, and this is how you are coming off to me) that you are coming off in a jealous manner because you are not the only sorority sister in the wedding party anymore.

DWAlphaGam · #8 08-20-2003, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by aephi alum
Perhaps the bride could put her in a truly hideous dress? "I've decided to have each of my bridesmaids wear a different color dress in xyz style. The options are burgundy, navy blue, hunter green, and bright orange with purple polka dots. I'm afraid the first three are already spoken for, but you'll look just great in orange! Especially with this coordinating yellow butt bow!"

I'm trying to picture this and LMAO!

White_Chocolate · #9 08-21-2003, 09:49 AM

yes it was tacky
but it's not your place to tell her that she needs to get rid of the girl that was asked

HBADPi · #10 08-21-2003, 12:42 PM

I agree with AOII_LB93 too but not about the jealousy.

True its an honor to be asked and you should take it as such. I understand your frustration but I dont see that as jealousy. What the girl did was wrong and like it or not you have to deal with her until and throughout the wedding. Yes I would be pissed off too if I was asked and them someone pushed their way through but you and the bride now that she ASKED you, you didnt have to ask her...even if its just the 2 of you that understand/know that.

honeychile · #11 08-21-2003, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AOII_LB93
While tacky and not at all in good taste to ask to be a bridesmaid, the bride did not speak up on her own behalf and you said she took it calmly. It seems to me that it's over and done with. As it's the bride and groom's day to celebrate, I'm sure if the bride really objected she would have said something by now. You are there to be in the wedding and be supportive, not to cause more issues for her as planning a wedding is stressful enough.

I agree with you. It's a shame the bride doesn't have a backbone. It's also a shame that the bridesmaid dresses weren't already ordered, so that the tacky bridesmaid could wear something that would make her really stand out!

Peaches-n-Cream · #12 08-21-2003, 07:12 PM

It is the bride's place to accept or decline your sister's offer to be her bridesmaid. Don't get involved in this situation. It will add more stress to the bride's life.

shultzz · #13 08-21-2003, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fullertongreek
So i'm going to be in a wedding for a sorority sister. I was the only one asked from our GLO (even though I know many other sisters thought they would be asked). I was honestly very touched that she asked me until one of our mutual friends and sister decided to apply for the bridesmaids position and asked my engaged friend if she could be in the wedding. Before my engaged friend could answer this girl started talking about being in the wedding without having heard a yes. I'm very very irritated that she did that because being a bridesmaids doesnt consist of ASKING the bride to be if you can be in her wedding. I was honestly very honored that she only asked me from our GLO but now i'm just so pissed off at this girl and what she did and my engaged friend didnt have the heart to tell this girl no so she's in the wedding too!

Does anyone else agree with me? I want to say something to my engaged friend but I dont know if its my place. Help!

Can you get me a in the wedding party? I heard weddings are a great place to hook up.