Scruples Question #1

PinkCashmere · #1 08-10-2000, 12:05 AM

Greetings Sorors, Sisterfriends, & Fellas:

I want to pose a question to you all to see where our integrity and ethics lie.

Situation: You are out of town having dinner in a romantic restaurant and saw someone who looked exactly like your best friend's significant other with someone else in what appeared to be a very romantic dinner. When you tried to get a better look to actually see if it indeed was your best friend's significant other, he/she saw you and along with their "date" left without saying anything to you or getting close enough to you to get a good look at them.

Question: Do you tell your best friend or do you stay out of the situation? Or do you confront your best friend's significant other yourself?

thatgirl · #2 08-10-2000, 12:12 AM

Easy! You just bring it up. You say "Hey, I saw a guy that looked just like (whoever) last night at the (wherever)." That gives your friend the option to say either "Couldn't have been. He was with me." or "Who was he with? What was he wearing?" That should do it.

The Original Ape · #3 08-10-2000, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by PinkCashmere:
Greetings Sorors, Sisterfriends, & Fellas:

I want to pose a question to you all to see where our integrity and ethics lie.

Situation: You are out of town having dinner in a romantic restaurant and saw someone who looked exactly like your best friend's significant other with someone else in what appeared to be a very romantic dinner. When you tried to get a better look to actually see if it indeed was your best friend's significant other, he/she saw you and along with their "date" left without saying anything to you or getting close enough to you to get a good look at them.

Question: Do you tell your best friend or do you stay out of the situation? Or do you confront your best friend's significant other yourself?

you mind your business; and pray for your friend.

Sexy Mocha · #4 08-09-2000, 01:19 PM

Dang Original....I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one.

If it were me and I saw my best friend's man out with another woman I would definitely have to call my girl up ASAP and be like "Hey girl! You didn't tell me ______(man's name) was going to _____(whatever town) for the weekend. Imagine my surprise when I saw THEM at Le Cordon Amor Restaurant! Girl, you tell that man of yours the next time he sees me (and I KNOW both he and the young lady saw me)and RUNS out without as much as saying hello...it's gonna be on!

Catwoman · #5 08-09-2000, 01:40 PM

If we are talking BESTFRIEND I owe it to my girl to mention something to her. Now if I wasn't for sure it was her man...I would probably ask my friend did she go out with her man last night and if she mentions her man was with her the whole night...I will tell her what I saw and assume her man has a "twin" (don't we all). If she said no...he was working late etc etc I would then relate to her what I saw and let her know that I was not positive it was him. She can take it from there. I would expect the same of her. There are too many good men & women out there to be trippin' off a liar or cheater.

Cream Puff · #6 08-09-2000, 01:50 PM

I must say, I have to agree with Mocha! I definitely would, want to know if my significant other is/were cheating on me! Why on GODS green earth would I (or anyone)want to be with a man that doesn't care for my feelings or value the relationship.
PinkCashmere... I would ask my friend how's her relationship with her boyfriend and see what she says, then go from there.

[This message has been edited by Cream Puff (edited August 10, 2000).]

Cream Puff · #7 08-09-2000, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Catwoman:
There are too many good men & women out there to be trippin' off a liar or cheater.[/B]

Catwoman... That is sooo TRUE!!

AKAtude · #8 08-09-2000, 02:18 PM

I agree with Catwoman. That is what I would do as well.

mizzkes · #9 08-09-2000, 04:04 PM

Hmmm. This is a really good question. This was not one of the options you listed, but I would probably approach the guy before he left the restaraunt. I would walk over to his table, speak to him, and INTRODUCE MYSELF to his date. Now as far as your options go. I would tell my friend also. I would do as others have stated and ask leading questions. But, I would definitely tell her. I would not want him flaunting some hoochie around town while my girl is at home thinking she is the only woman in his life. I can't have that. (Of course I would tell my friend how incredibly ugly this other girl was....even if she was a supermodel

)

Serenity · #10 08-09-2000, 04:26 PM

This may sound stupid, but I would confront him first. Whether it be then and there, I don't know. But, I would tell him that if he didn't tell her, I would.

I only say this because most often, if he is your bestfriend's man he may also be your friend as well. I know this is true for myself. I'm also secure that when I told her, she would know that I wouldn't make up such a lie. Then again, a lot of great friendships end over this type of BS.

The Original Ape · #11 08-09-2000, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sexy Mocha:
Dang Original....I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one. If it were me and I saw my best friend's man out with another woman I would definitely have to call my girl up ASAP and be like "Hey girl! You didn't tell me ______(man's name) was going to _____(whatever town) for the weekend. Imagine my surprise when I saw THEM at Le Cordon Amor Restaurant! Girl, you tell that man of yours the next time he sees me (and I KNOW both he and the young lady saw me)and RUNS out without as much as saying hello...it's gonna be on!

Thank God for variety! I respect your decision. I even like it; but I would mind my on business because you may not know the current(up-to-the_hour) situation with your girlfriend; which may make what you see quite legit. Secondly, suppose YOU are wrong in it all. The damage done by you could end up being irreparable.

The Original Ape · #12 08-09-2000, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PinkCashmere:
Greetings Sorors, Sisterfriends, & Fellas:

I want to pose a question to you all to see where our integrity and ethics lie.

Situation: You are out of town having dinner in a romantic restaurant and saw someone who looked exactly like your best friend's significant other with someone else in what appeared to be a very romantic dinner. When you tried to get a better look to actually see if it indeed was your best friend's significant other, he/she saw you and along with their "date" left without saying anything to you or getting close enough to you to get a good look at them.

Question: Do you tell your best friend or do you stay out of the situation? Or do you confront your best friend's significant other yourself?

FLIP THAT COIN!!!!!!!

And let's see what the brothas would do! Why is that everytime a relationship goes bad, it's always got to be the brothas fault?

HER_STORY · #13 08-09-2000, 06:45 PM

i had this convo with my best friend and i asked her would she want to know and she said NO........

Sexy Mocha · #14 08-09-2000, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Original Ape:
...you may not know the current(up-to-the_hour) situation with your girlfriend; which may make what you see quite legit. Secondly, suppose YOU are wrong in it all. The damage done by you could end up being irreparable.

[/B]

Ok, but if this is my close friend I should think that I would have SOME inkling as to if they're going through something really bad or if they're on the verge of breaking up...of which neither case is grounds for her man to be in a romantic setting with another woman unbeknownst to her. Also, I would not tell my friend unless I knew, without a shadow of doubt, that it was infact her man. If the situation between my friend's man and the other woman is purely platonic, then there should be no problem with my friend knowing they went out together. There should be no reason for it to be a secret. If there is something going on, well then I suppose it is her man, and not I, who has caused irreparable damage. You know what they say...don't shoot the messenger!

The Original Ape · #15 08-09-2000, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sexy Mocha:

Quote:

Originally posted by The Original Ape:
...you may not know the current(up-to-the_hour) situation with your girlfriend; which may make what you see quite legit. Secondly, suppose YOU are wrong in it all. The damage done by you could end up being irreparable.

Ok, but if this is my close friend I should think that I would have SOME inkling as to if they're going through something really bad or if they're on the verge of breaking up...of which neither case is grounds for her man to be in a romantic setting with another woman unbeknownst to her. Also, I would not tell my friend unless I knew, without a shadow of doubt, that it was infact her man. If the situation between my friend's man and the other woman is purely platonic, then there should be no problem with my friend knowing they went out together. There should be no reason for it to be a secret. If there is something going on, well then I suppose it is her man, and not I, who has caused irreparable damage. You know what they say...don't shoot the messenger![/B]

Hey bruhs: can I win this one???????

Okay Sexy; you covered yo tracks! Still; you should leave it alone. You're interfering with her learning process, babie!