Grrrrr.

MTSUGURL · #1 05-30-2003, 04:03 AM

My decision to go through recruitment this fall has not been an easy one to make. I'm going in as an upperclassman amongst a bunch of absolutely sweet, stunning,and brilliant freshmen. While this is something that I have wanted to do whole heartedly, and still is, it seems as though so many people in my life are determined to make me feel like an idiot for pursuing this. (They've failed - I know it is a very worthy thing."

My mother, whenever I bring up recruitment, gives me this blank look and says "But you're ____ (insert my age here, which I won't)."
Why should I give up the desire to become a part of a sorority just because my experiences and circumstances have caused my time in college to be interrupted and postponed? One thing that has been a running theme in so many threads on GC is that your sorority membership does not expire at 4 years - it is a lifelong commitment. I like to think that I still have a long life ahead of me. Even if I die tomorrow, I want to know that I tried to achieve all of my goals and desires before I died. My mother didn't go to college - she got married and had me. I don't expect her to understand why I want to join a sorority, I just want her to be supportive of my wanting it.

I'm very involved in a campus ministry, and unfortunately it is not Greek friendly. They have a very "it's buying your friends, a sinful lifestyle, yadda yadda yadda" attitude about it. A good portion of this ministry is made up of nontraditional students who for some reason or another have had to postpone college and are now actively involved in actvities with underclassmen. When I say anything about recruitment I hear, "But you're ____."

I know that I will be heavily cut due to my age and junior standing. That's fine. I have the maturity and healthy self esteem to deal with that. I can't say this about myself when I was 18. I would have been crushed and miserable then. I understand that I may very well not even make it to Pref. I'll be disappointed, but I know that I will meet some awesome women anyway. I just wish that people were more supportive and would stop telling me why I shouldn't do this.

Sorry for the long whiny rant, but I had to vent.

texas*princess · #2 05-30-2003, 09:39 AM

MTSUGirl, keep your head up! It sounds like you are very determined, which is so awesome! And it can be rough to hear things like "but you're a junior!" I heard that junior thing too from my friends when I told them I wanted to try informal recruitment, and it's just like you said, it's a lifelong committment, not just x-amount of years. Even though I still have a ways to go for graduation, I fully intend to become an active alumnae member after I graduate.

It can definately be hard when the people around you don't understand or support you, but you know you have all the support in the world here on GC ! So keep smilling girl!

justamom · #3 05-30-2003, 09:58 AM

No matter what your age is, a mother never stops worrying. I think "Mom" is afraid you will be hurt. She may not say it, but it's probably in the back of her mind.

As far as your friends go...well, my daughter actually had a similar situation except, they DID go through rush-were heavily cut-joined a strong church org-and now criticize the Greeks.
She still keeps some contact with them, but it's pretty hard when every time she's with them they act as if she needs to be saved or else she's "going to hell."

Your decision- "To thine own self be true." If this is what you believe you want, you would be filled with regret and "what ifs" if you DIDN'T give it a shot. You seem to know the obstacles and accept them. If everything was handed to people on a silver platter, where would we learn victory or appreciation for taking a chance? No matter WHAT happens you will gain much more than you risk. What IS the risk? Exposing your self to others? If people could get "pride" out of the way they would take more risks and in the end, they would have more successes in their lives. My heartfelt wishes for YOUR success and deep admiration for your decision!

CutiePie2000 · #4 05-30-2003, 10:31 AM

Honey, go through Rush and see what happens! I think you've managed your own expectations very well and you would never forgive yourself if you didn't rush (well, maybe that's a little strong....but you would wonder "what if?")

And, for the detractors, they've made their points of view known....no point in discussing it with them. The only thing is, make sure that you can take on the financial responsibilities of the sorority (some people need to rely on their parents for this), or can manage it through the payment plans process, etc.

We are all hoping the best for you!

phisigduchesscv · #5 05-30-2003, 10:51 AM

Crystal,

Don't let anyone get down on you regarding your age or class standing. Believe in yourself and that the houses will look past that to see what a fantastic sister you would make.

By the way, I went throught the same thing when I joined my sorority. I constantly heard "but you're 32 why would you join a sorority", and even better was the "you're a graduate student they're not going to ask you to join". Well they were proved wrong. I was initiated into Phi Sigma Sigma on March 24, 2001 as a 33 year old graduate student and no it wasn't as an Alumna initiate. Since then my chapter has initiated two more women my age and earlier this month we initiated a woman who I think is 38 or 39 can't remember exactly. So again don't let age and class standing stop you from trying rush.

I'm now 35 and going to miss being active when I graduate next year - you know I will go on to be an advisor somewhere. And being in a sorority is for life as you said.

Good luck,
Carolyn

sugar and spice · #6 05-30-2003, 06:02 PM

Crystal,

If this is something that you really want to do, then by all means do it! If it's something that, if you don't do it, you will always regret not trying, then you should definitely go through with it. Just tell people that it's something you've always wanted to do and you don't want to regret later in your life. If you do it and it doesn't work out, you can always recover from the rejection, but if you don't do it, you're always going to have that little "What if?" in the back of your head.

sigmabutterfly · #7 05-30-2003, 06:42 PM

go for it girl
if you want to do it than do it.... mommas are always going to worry (it comes with the title).. if i listened to my non greek friends
i would have never have meet the wonderful girls in Sigma Sigma Sigma. they are the best thing that has happened to me (except marring my husband).
Good Luck in whichever way you choose

Anne

In Greek life
No matter which way you choose
You can never go wrong

PsychTau · #8 05-30-2003, 06:47 PM

I echo what everyone else has said so far. Go through recruitment, see what happens. While I pledged as a freshman, I've had a blast AFTER graduation being on National Staff and visiting other chapters.

It's MORE than college....it's LIFE!

Good Luck!
PsychTau

Sistermadly · #9 05-30-2003, 11:09 PM

If you think you have it bad, try being thirty-*cough* and wanting to join as an undergraduate!

Before I decided on alumnae initiation, I contacted two organizations that accept graduate students as members. One chapter was already established on my campus, and the other was interested in expansion. When I took one look at the women in the collegiate chapter, I knew that there was no way that a thirty-*cough* year old graduate student would be nearly as attractive as an 18-year old freshman.

I'll add my "ditto" to what everyone else has said. I don't think you should let your age and experience stand in your way. I hope you find a home during recruitment. I'll be rooting for you!

pinkyphimu · #10 05-31-2003, 01:06 PM

don't think that it is just because of your age and class standing that you are getting flack from other people. if you were 18, drop dead gorgeous, with a 4.0 from hs, there would be someone in your life telling you that joining a sorority is a bad idea! go through rush, have fun, and keep us posted! we are rooting for you!

AchtungBaby80 · #11 05-31-2003, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pinkyphimu
don't think that it is just because of your age and class standing that you are getting flack from other people. if you were 18, drop dead gorgeous, with a 4.0 from hs, there would be someone in your life telling you that joining a sorority is a bad idea!

That's right...I was only 19, and I got "the talk" from my dad, some of my friends, the guy I was seeing, etc. My favorite argument was the "But...you're smart! Why would you want to be in a sorority?" one.

Peaches-n-Cream · #12 05-31-2003, 01:39 PM

Crystal, go through recruitment, be yourself, enjoy yourself. In life not everyone will agree with the decisions that you make, but you need to be true to yourself. You can't live your life trying to satisfy other people, or you won't be satisfied yourself. Forget what other people say, be true to yourself, and follow your heart. I hope that you find the happiness that you seek.

Good luck!

AZpinkkittie · #13 06-02-2003, 12:37 AM

Crystal, I am right there with you. My age isn't as big of a factor as it has been to others (I just turned 22 last week) but it still worries me, so I understand. I'm getting a lot of "

why would you want to be in a sorority?" But all these girls are right, and their advice is what has made me feel good about rushing. You have to do what is going to make YOU happy. No one else has to live in your skin, and deal with the ramificatins of this kind of decision. You're an adult woman!! If you want to eat brownies for breakfast, by george you can!! And if you want to join a loving sisterhood and have an experience to not only last all through your lifetime, but possibly pass on to anothers life, than get out there and rush your butt off. I know I will

justamom · #14 06-02-2003, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AZpinkkittie
Crystal, I am right there with you. My age isn't as big of a factor as it has been to others (I just turned 22 last week) but it still worries me, so I understand. I'm getting a lot of " why would you want to be in a sorority?" But all these girls are right, and their advice is what has made me feel good about rushing. You have to do what is going to make YOU happy. No one else has to live in your skin, and deal with the ramificatins of this kind of decision. You're an adult woman!! If you want to eat brownies for breakfast, by george you can!! And if you want to join a loving sisterhood and have an experience to not only last all through your lifetime, but possibly pass on to anothers life, than get out there and rush your butt off. I know I will

HOO YA! I'm ready to get out there myself!!! This was a great inspiring, motivational post. I swear, I could feel the energy behind it! GREAT!

MTSUGURL · #15 06-02-2003, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AZpinkkittie
Crystal, I am right there with you. My age isn't as big of a factor as it has been to others (I just turned 22 last week) but it still worries me, so I understand. I'm getting a lot of " why would you want to be in a sorority?" But all these girls are right, and their advice is what has made me feel good about rushing. You have to do what is going to make YOU happy. No one else has to live in your skin, and deal with the ramificatins of this kind of decision. You're an adult woman!! If you want to eat brownies for breakfast, by george you can!! And if you want to join a loving sisterhood and have an experience to not only last all through your lifetime, but possibly pass on to anothers life, than get out there and rush your butt off. I know I will

Tina, you're awesome girl. Thanks a bunch!

Ya'll, thanks so much for the encouragement. The next time someone asks me why I want to join a sorority and I give the answer I've been giving, I'm going to point them in the direction your wonderful ladies!