Interracial Greek Dating

david_tke · #1 05-20-2003, 05:53 AM

I am now a 21 yr. Black College student that attends a very conservative small university in Texas. I have experienced the joys and sorrows of dating white sorority girls. Being from a very diverse town in Central Texas I was shocked when I went to college that many young people were so conservative and uncaring in their views of people of the African American Persuasion. But then suddenly things changed when I joined one of the top (Non-African American) Fraternities on campus. Suddenly all of these Caucasion sorority females who wouldn't give me the time of day all of a sudden where completely captivated by me. While I was completely overjoyed I had yet to realize it would be both a blessing and a curse. I was never turned down for dates by any of them and I had many flings and sexual encounters with them but then I also had to deal with the fact that all I was exactly a fling to some of the girls and that many of them that I dated did not tell there parents about me and could not because of what there parents would say. I also endured paying money for expensive Fraternity formals in which I and other African American fraternity men only brought Caucasion Sorority girls. But when it came time for their Sorority formals none of us were invited because Mommy and Daddy paid for it and they would see the pictures :? . I don't want to discourage anyone from dating them because for the most part my experiences with them have been and hopefull will continue to be great. But as a reminder to all of you out there remember Greek organizations, no matter what the movies say are elitist organizations and just make sure the person you date is as strong outside of the group as she is in the group.
If any body has any comments or other experiences please feel free to post them.

White_Chocolate · #2 05-20-2003, 09:39 AM

hey, i'm BLACK
i'm in a NPC sorority
my school is EXCLUSIVE with predominantly white people
(all of the blacks plays sports on our teams)
and i take nothing but WHITE GUYS to my formals
and i get taken to formals, socials, and date parties by WHITE GUYS
i have sisters who take BLACK GUYS to their formals
the guy i'm seeing is a WHITE GUY whose PARENTS PAY FOR EVERYTHING
i go to church and have dinner with his family sometimes
i think that you just ended up dating girls for the wrong reason
SOUNDS PERSONAL

besides, i know tons of white guys who were nobodies in high school
and they join a fraternity and suddenly have girls all over them
it's not just black guys. . .
although the black guys that i know who are in predominantly white fraternities don't seem to have this problem
in fact, they always end up with the hot girls

it all sounds like. . .PLAYER, YOU JUST GOT PLAYED. . . .

AchtungBaby80 · #3 05-20-2003, 10:19 AM

White_Chocolate, that was great. I was searching for something to say, but you put it better than I ever could!

12dn94dst · #4 05-20-2003, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by White_Chocolate
it all sounds like. . .PLAYER, YOU JUST GOT PLAYED. . . .

i'd have to agree. take this time as a little introspection into your motives as well. make sure you're dating people who are right for you & who make you happy, be they white, black or other.

this type of thing with folks who would have never given you a penny to scrape gum off your show before coming out of the woodwork & giving you attention once you get 2 or 3 letters is something to be weary of anyway. or maybe it's me & my cynical nature.

moe.ron · #5 05-20-2003, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 12dn94dst
i'd have to agree. take this time as a little introspection into your motives as well. make sure you're dating people who are right for you & who make you happy, be they white, black or other.

this type of thing with folks who would have never given you a penny to scrape gum off your show before coming out of the woodwork & giving you attention once you get 2 or 3 letters is something to be weary of anyway. or maybe it's me & my cynical nature.

I also think u got played.

david_tke · #6 05-20-2003, 04:09 PM

Thank you ladies for your replies and helpful in site but I think my post may have led you ladies to believe the my intentions and reasoning on this matter were wrong. First of all let me say that I do not just date white women exclusively I think women of all races are beautiful and lovely in there own way.But after reading a post placed on a board on an interracial dating site earlier in the day about this subject I thought it would be nice to see what other people thought about this subject and any experiences some of you or friends of your have experienced in the greek community. I am glad to see that a lot of you have had pleasant experiences with dating outside your nationality and maybe there is hope for people at my small conservative school. By know means did I mean to come across as a "player" i just mentioned a few situations so many of you could see where I was coming from and for that I sincerely apologize.

Rio_Kohitsuji · #7 05-20-2003, 04:31 PM

David, I also go to a very small and conservative school so I can feel what you're going through hon that is, in a certain way. I'm white, yet I remember first attending making friends with guys that happened to be black, and I was afraid that my parents would find out. I mean, I remember attending fraternity formals and my parents seeing pic's with me and guys that aren't quite the shade they are and trying to hide the pics once I got them! But, I eventually decided to just say f*ck it to my parents and now they're much more accepting

So hon, there's hope out there, just find girls are right for you.

ps: The letter issue came up with the guy's last-last pledge class. Once they got their 3 magical letters it seemed every girl on campus were dying to crawl in their bed, lol! Have fun with it! If they're just using you for your letters, use them for their....well...you know.

librasoul22 · #8 05-20-2003, 04:51 PM

Uh oh. lol.

David? Have you ever thought of dating WITHIN your race? Just wondering, and by no means trying to judge you.

White_Chocolate · #9 05-20-2003, 05:12 PM

when i said player. . .i was totally making fun
player is what i call everyone
player-playboy-baller
it's just the same as saying your name

however, i'm only maintaining that you dug your hole
don't hate the player. . .hate the game
in other words, don't hate the white girls who dissed you
and don't try to poison others against white girls(it won't work anyway)
do like i do. . .play the players. . .
learn the game and hand it right back to them
then, they'll see how it feels
when a formal comes up, shock the hell out of everyone
and take someone asian or black
then, when a girl asks to be your formal date
tell her that you'll go to her formal first
and you'll take hers to yours later
besides. . .aren't the guys formal later than the girls anyway

you truly need to come here
and learn the rules of engagement
because if you're getting played THIS BAD
you suck

Jadey28 · #10 05-20-2003, 05:43 PM

While my situation is slightly different, I wanted to toss in my two cents. I am a white girl who has been dating a hispanic male for 2.5 years. His mother is from Brazil and his father is from Columbia. He doesn't really look hispanic at all. People are usually fine with us being together, mainly because we both have the same complexion color. However, as soon as they find out he's hispanic, some people look at us funny. I've had friends say to me, "you know if you got married and had kids, they might have a darker complexion than you and might look more hispanic than white." Personally, I don't care what other people think. I fell in love with this wonderful person regardless of his nationality. I think that if you are attracked to someone, their race, nationality, religion, or anything like that shouldn't matter. You should be with a person because you have an emotional and physical attraction to them. Yes, sometimes it might make things easier if you are the same religion or race, but it shouldn't be a finalizing factor in a relationship. Times have changed over the past 40 years or so. Why not grow with the times and do what you feel is best for you? If you find someone whose company you enjoy, go with your feelings and set all nationality issues aside.

(Sorry if this veered slightly off the topic of David's orignal post. I had some thoughts that I had to release

)

david_tke · #11 05-20-2003, 06:28 PM

Once again you great people on the board have helped to further enlighten me. Thanks white_chocolate for your suggestions and your explanation of "player"(once you explained it I really felt like an idiot). In response to Librasoul22 I have dated many girls in my own race at my school but they always ended up ridiculing me and asking me why I'm not in one of the all Black Fraternities. So I have dated more females in NPC sororities because they are the ones that primarily hang out with mine and other IFC fraternities.And to Jodey28 I know what you are talking about I have some Hispanic fraternity brothers that deal with the same problems as you and your boyfriend. I really want to say thanks TKE209sweetheart(GO TKE) for your encouraging words.

James · #12 05-20-2003, 08:30 PM

David_tke,

I am sure that my heart as well as the hearts of fraternity men everywhere bleed for you in the terrible misfortunue that you have been afflicted with:

A bunch of white girls that just want to have sex with you but do not want to take you to their formals.

Oh the tragedy! lol

sigtau305 · #13 05-21-2003, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by david_tke
I am now a 21 yr. Black College student that attends a very conservative small university in Texas. I have experienced the joys and sorrows of dating white sorority girls. Being from a very diverse town in Central Texas I was shocked when I went to college that many young people were so conservative and uncaring in their views of people of the African American Persuasion. But then suddenly things changed when I joined one of the top (Non-African American) Fraternities on campus. Suddenly all of these Caucasion sorority females who wouldn't give me the time of day all of a sudden where completely captivated by me. While I was completely overjoyed I had yet to realize it would be both a blessing and a curse. I was never turned down for dates by any of them and I had many flings and sexual encounters with them but then I also had to deal with the fact that all I was exactly a fling to some of the girls and that many of them that I dated did not tell there parents about me and could not because of what there parents would say. I also endured paying money for expensive Fraternity formals in which I and other African American fraternity men only brought Caucasion Sorority girls. But when it came time for their Sorority formals none of us were invited because Mommy and Daddy paid for it and they would see the pictures :? . I don't want to discourage anyone from dating them because for the most part my experiences with them have been and hopefull will continue to be great. But as a reminder to all of you out there remember Greek organizations, no matter what the movies say are elitist organizations and just make sure the person you date is as strong outside of the group as she is in the group.
If any body has any comments or other experiences please feel free to post them.

David,

I was almost in the same position as you when I join my Fraternity(I'm African-American). The only thing is: After I was Initiated, I thought I get the same type of attention that my Fraternity Brothers would get with all the sorority women, but I didn't. No women didn't beat down my door vying for my time. Was I disappointed? A little bit, but I wasn't going to worry my head over a small thing. Yes, it's a great feeling when you have those Three Letters across your chest and becoming a part of a great brotherhood. But Also, you learn there are some situations which bring you right back to reality. And Because of that, I've became a better person because of it. I'm sure you'll find the right woman who love you for being you. Yes, I bleed for you but I agree with what White Chocolate said: Don't let the game play you.you play the game, Bro.

Tom Earp · #14 05-21-2003, 09:34 PM

Gart and the rest of the GCers, I think you all put it very straight forward and with feeling!

I have never had the situation in college as back in the olden days, the Greek Orgs were very segregated and that is the way both the BGLOS/GLOS felt was best.

Thank goodness, things are changing!

I know when I have gone out with a lady whether Black or Asian, I would get some funny looks at first! Me I didnt give a damn!

After the First Shock, people just went about their business, just as we would ignor them for the Morons that they were!!!

Even now as we all know people people have taboos and will always have them!

For all of the S***t Greeks get, it is amazing, that in most cases we are so much farther advanced!!!!!!!

PsiU1833 · #15 05-25-2003, 10:28 PM

Sorry but i didnt read all the posts above, but im asian and my gf is white and in Phi Mu and there has never been any problems like that, met her parents and go to formals and everything. I have been to a bunch of other soroity formals and dates with other girls from differnt sororities and race has never been an issue with other people in the greek system, on the other hand i get alot of flak from other non-greek asians for being part of a traditional greek fraternity and not the asian one and get alot of "rolled eyes" from the asian girls when they find out i have a white gf/ am greek, but they could go all to hell cause i know who matters to me and judge me for whats important.