Funny-Style Black Co-Workers

[prayerfull]

For all of us out there in the career field...

You know what trips me out is black co-workers who straight up and down avoid/refuse to speak to their other black co-workers...but as soon as Sally or John "white person" walks in the room, they're jumping over desks to chit chat.

This came to mind today because there's this black guy who has been working on the tech. project at our hospital. We work in the same office, but he has not spoken ONE WORD to me since he got here. Yet, he literally goes out of his way to chit chat it up with Diana, Priscilla, Bliss and Bonnie.....obviously white chicks.

Then I head this fool cracking a joke this white guy in the office earlier. There was bowl of chocolate candy and the white guy said "here's some dark chocolate". The black guy comes back with "hey..I'm not into dark chocolate...ha..ha...I'm more into white chocolate...ha..ha." The ha..ha.. was one of the "you know what I mean" kind of ha..ha's.

Since dude is already "suspect" with me....I wasn't going for his little joke.

WTF is up with black people. You know with the few professional blacks that we have up in here, you'd think that we'd have some kind of comradie.

Do y'all have this same kind of shnit to deal with?

[Steeltrap]

Shoot, I wish I had ONE black co-worker but that's a whole another thread.


Unfortunately, Soror, what you see isn't surprising. Remember, more than a few people under 40 years of age were raised in environments where they were either the ONLY or one of very few AfAms, thanks to open housing laws, school desegregation and such.

Many people like your co-worker are uncomfortable with other Blacks and didn't have proper home training, IMO. For that, I blame the parents who may have the best of intentions, but should have taught them that there should be some degree of commonality.

One of the more blatant examples of what you describe was Janet Cooke, the disgraced Washington Post reporter who faked a story and gave back a Pulitzer Prize. The woman, from all accounts, didn't speak to ANY black folks and as it turned out, she was sheltered as a child.

Her Dad told her that the black kids in her neighborhood "weren't educated or refined enough to be your playmates" That's some shiznit to tell a little black girl, but I digress...

Believe me, I'm not trying to excuse the cat, because he sounds like he has some Ohhhhjjjj issues.

[prayerfull]

I'm with you Soror Steeltrap...but you know...I was raised in an environment where our family was the only black family in the neighborhood and my sister and I were always the only black kids in our school. I have heard some "interesting", bougie comments from my parents that can be classified somewhat like what you said in your post. I was pretty sheltered as a child. Perhaps going to an HBCU really helped me be well-rounded because I just might have ended up that same way.

[Steeltrap]

Originally posted by prayerfull
I'm with you Soror Steeltrap...but you know...I was raised in an environment where our family was the only black family in the neighborhood and my sister and I were always the only black kids in our school. I have heard some "interesting", bougie comments from my parents that can be classified somewhat like what you said in your post. I was pretty sheltered as a child. Perhaps going to an HBCU really helped me be well-rounded because I just might have ended up that same way.

That sounds like it did help, and it was good that you sought it out. I didn't go to an HBCU and I was also sheltered, but somehow I picked up on the importance of commonality.

That's not to say that black co-workers should be the best of friends, but ideally, you want someone who's respectful and has basic manners, including SPEAKING to you.

[RedefinedDiva]

Well, as true as both of you may be, there are people that come from ALL Black neighborhoods and STILL act like they don't know their own. It makes me sick! I can go into all sorts of things that disgrace me about some "Black" folks, but that's another thread....

I believe in good working relations with people of other races, but I dare not turn on my own for the sake of "approval" or anything else from them. When I notice co-workers acting like that, I quickly, but politely, put them in check when they try to come back home. You know that's what they do when racial tensions arise (as they are prone to do) within the office.

[nikki1920]

Prayerfull, have you spoken to him? I was always the only black girl for a long time in school (until HS) and other black people thought I was stuck up or whatever b/c I didnt speak first. I was/am VERY shy on initial contact. It doesnt seem like that is this "brother"'s case, just thought I would throw that out.

But just to freak him out, next time you see him say, What up, Blackman, and dap him up!lol

[LADY_1908]

Don't worry prayerfull, "BrothaMan" will be all up in your face the minute the tide turns looking for a little sympathy.

Another "OJ" episode an we'll see how his friends are feeling him then.

[Gyrl7]

Originally posted by LADY_1908
Don't worry prayerfull, "BrothaMan" will be all up in your face the minute the tide turns looking for a little sympathy.

Another "OJ" episode an we'll see how his friends are feeling him then.

Yes you are right and I can see it now....."you know sista, I have always wanted to say hi, but I was too shy, lets have lunch sometime"

Meanwhile, he doesn't tell you he has been put on an improvement plan and has 90 days to get his act together or else!
All of a sudden dark chocolate is tasty and white chocolate is not sweet enough or too bland!

[CrimsonTide4]

Catch him on the elevator alone and say, "I have white chocolate in me and I STILL don't wantcha."

I tell you the truth, we either work with Rakeem and Raekwon or Braxton P. Hartnabrig (his last name was far too yucky for me).

[Bamboozled]

Well, let's also look at the flip side of the situation. Why is it that BECAUSE you're black, you're automatically expected to intermingle with other black employees? Now I'm not talking about common courtesies, i.e. saying good morning, asking how someone's weekend was, saying good night, etc. I'm talking about people who expect you to go above and beyond to be friendly, based solely on the fact that you're both black. I find that most of the black females in my office have kind of ostracized me, because outside of speaking, I don't really talk to them. When I come to work, I'm here to get a job done, not to find out who's baby daddy was acting a fool last night. I work for a very conservative firm and that requires that I maintain a certain decorum while at work. I know they talk about me behind my back, LOL. I want honest opinions here. Am I dead wrong for feeling this way?

[Steeltrap]

Originally posted by Bamboozled
Well, let's also look at the flip side of the situation. Why is it that BECAUSE you're black, you're automatically expected to intermingle with other black employees? Now I'm not talking about common courtesies, i.e. saying good morning, asking how someone's weekend was, saying good night, etc. I'm talking about people who expect you to go above and beyond to be friendly, based solely on the fact that you're both black. I find that most of the black females in my office have kind of ostracized me, because outside of speaking, I don't really talk to them. When I come to work, I'm here to get a job done, not to find out who's baby daddy was acting a fool last night. I work for a very conservative firm and that requires that I maintain a certain decorum while at work. I know they talk about me behind my back, LOL. I want honest opinions here. Am I dead wrong for feeling this way?

No, I don't think that you're dead wrong because as much as we don't like to acknowledge it, there are class differences within the AfAm communities.
But it sounds like at least you and your co-workers exchange common courtesies, which I'm not sure is the case with my soror and her co-worker.

[prayerfull]

I'm not trying to HOOK UP with the brotha. In professional situations where there are a very limited number of blacks, I've always rolled on the unspoken rule that you acknowledge each other. Just as in the area I live, there are very few black people, so I don't care if I know the person or not on a personal level..if I see another black person walking down the street in a sea of white people, I acknowledge them. I don't have to get into deep conversation or anything like that. A simple "Hello, how are you" will do.

As for homeboy, I acknowledged him when he first started on this project. There are very few black professionals here at the hospital. Some of us go out to lunch as a group from time to time...(kind of on the hush hush, though...we don't want to scare them into thinking we're planning an uprising!! ). Homeboy doesn't roll with us at all...and that's fine...I couldn't care less. However, he certainly does roll to lunch with a whole bunch of white co-workers.

Now, like I said before, I acknowledged him when he first started on this project. Since he was spoken to...of course he spoke back and said hello. But other than that, he can walk right past me and not say one word.

I'm really not tripping off the whole thing. I ain't trying to hook up with the man...heck, I'm married. I just believe that black people need to look out for each other in the workplace...cause you know that the other races do!

Bamboozled... I'm not trying to be buddy buddy with ANYONE at my job. I have one co-worker that I communicate with on a personal level and we have a friendship outside of work. Other than that, I don't care what color a person is...I agree with what you said about being there to do my job and go home. I generally stay to myself at work and don't get into ANY office chit chat and gossip. However, I do have an unspoken camradie with other professional blacks here at the hospital. We all know each other. We are cordial, etc....just common courtesies though and nothing far beyond that other than an occasional lunch (maybe every 3 months or so) In this particular case, homeboy doesn't speak AT ALL...but goes OUT OF HIS WAY to chat it up with other races.

[Discogoddess]

First, Happy New Year to all!

@ Soror Prayerfull: As another poster asked, have you made it a point to speak to this person? I often amaze myself by how I get "hainkty" about someone not speaking to me, for whatever reasons I have imagined in my head, when I generally don't bother to speak to them either. I say, make it a point to speak, be pleasant, and move on.

Not all black people are raised to believe that we "owe" each other special camaraderie by virtue of our shared skin color. I say shared skin color because, as you can attest, we don't all share the same upbringing, and we don't even share the same feelings about our common origins (i.e., feelings about Africa, slavery, discrimination and how we react to it). Hell, our ancestors and brothers in sisters in Mother Africa herself have never, ever agreed upon fraternalization based on skin color. And in many cases, common culture, language or religion isn't enough to warrant "sticking together." Many of us may feel that because of the experience of the Maafa and its long-lasting effects, we "should" want to band together because of our shared history of pain and oppression because of our skin color, but I don't think we can assume that.

Generally, I try to approach black co-workers in the same professional manner I would anyone else, and if they give off a brotherly/sisterly vibe, then I'll roll with that. If they don't, no skin off my nose; they just get filed in the "cordial and no more" file.

[Bamboozled]

Originally posted by prayerfull
Bamboozled... I'm not trying to be buddy buddy with ANYONE at my job. I have one co-worker that I communicate with on a personal level and we have a friendship outside of work. Other than that, I don't care what color a person is...I agree with what you said about being there to do my job and go home. I generally stay to myself at work and don't get into ANY office chit chat and gossip. However, I do have an unspoken camradie with other professional blacks here at the hospital. We all know each other. We are cordial, etc....just common courtesies though and nothing far beyond that other than an occasional lunch (maybe every 3 months or so) In this particular case, homeboy doesn't speak AT ALL...but goes OUT OF HIS WAY to chat it up with other races.

Oh, I agree that my situation is totally different than yours. I just thought I would throw mine out there since it kind of dealt with the same topic. I concur that as a people, we should be cordial and courteous to one another. Like you, I make it a point speak to other black people in every situation. Now ol' boy at your job sounds like he doesn't want the white folks to realize that he's black, so he chooses to totally disassociate himself with everything black while at work. That's not what I'm saying at all. Shoot, I don't deal with too many white folks in the office either, LOL. I guess what I'm saying is that I want EVERYBODY to leave me the hell alone so I can get some work done. LMAO.

[Discogoddess]

@Soror Prayerfull: I see that you and I were posting at the same time, so disregard my earlier question about whether or not you've spoken to your colleague.