I'm a stressed out pledge....

pledge · #1 10-02-2002, 08:20 AM

I am so stressed out. People think that just b/c i'm pledging a sorority, that it's all fun and games. They think that all we do is party, but that is so not true. Most of time the sorority is busy with sorority business, planning events, etc. Non-greeks think that mixers just fall out the sky, but there is often a lot of planning that goes into creating one. I'm starting to learn that now, since my pledge class not only have to plan a mixer, a fundraiser, a philantrophy, make a banner, create a scrapbook, and do a sort of "scavenger hunt" for initiation, BUT, we have to have a pledge class meeting once a week, and we are a small pledge class. It's only 5 of us, and two I know are not gonna pull their weight. I'm trying to think postively and remember to have fun and not be overwhelmed, but it's hard when some of the pledges aren't doing their part. I will let it be known to the girls in my pledge class that if they don't pull their weight and come to the meetings, then points will be deducted from them.

PenguinTrax · #2 10-02-2002, 08:26 AM

I know how stressful it is when you feel that your teammates are not doing their share.

It would be better for your pledge class relationship, however, if you let an initiated sister (such as your new member educator) speak to the girls that aren't pulling their weight.

Speak to an initiated sister in private and express your concerns and let them handle it according to chapter procedures. If you start 'getting on their cases', you will come off looking bossy - and not a team player.

Your hard work will be noticed and you shouldn't have to pick up the slack of others. If they fail in their duties, trust me, it will be noticed that you did not fail to fulfill your obligations.

Delta 1917 · #3 10-02-2002, 08:34 AM

I am sorry to hear you're having such a time of it. You're right that being in a sorority is a great deal of work. But, this time should be fun for you!

Not that I want to suggest anything but are the sisters helping your class to plan any of these events? Will they be participating in some way?

I think this will be a great experience for you in time-- it can seem overwhelming at first. But I also hope you'll remember this when you are initiated.

pledge · #4 10-02-2002, 10:40 AM

I keep trying to remember that this is suppose to be fun. The sisters said that they will help with the projects that our pledge class must do, but still, it's hard when you don't trust the other pledges to do their part. One pledge just totally forgets to come to meetings, she has 3 kids, a full time job, and she goes to school. I have no clue what made her rush for a sorority, but now the sisters her questioning her, b/c she failed to tell them that she had so many kids. The other puts her job before the sorority, when she knows that we have meetings every sunday. She wants us to work around her, instead of her working around us. I work too, part-time, but I make sure to let my supervisor know that Sunday is a "school day".

zchi2 · #5 10-02-2002, 11:19 AM

Just remember that it is often times harder to be
an actually sister than a pledge. Don't let this
stuff stress you out. It all can be done because I'm sure the other people in the sorority did it before you. Don't be afraid to ask for help and put a little more trust in the other pledges. Since you all are just starting out, the other pledges might not realize just how serious it is to be in a sorority. They will either catch on or drop. But just set an example for all your other pledge sisters. What you are learning now is going to help you when you are actually a full member of the sorority. It's all worth it.

suzymoonspider · #6 10-02-2002, 04:41 PM

Just a note- I think school and work SHOULD come before pledging- granted your pledge sister should request Sun meetings off but it may not be possible for her to get it off- in which case she shouldn't be asked to quit or change for something like that-

Tom Earp · #7 10-02-2002, 05:30 PM

What did you expect! Nirvana?

Yes it is and will be hared work, but guess What, there were many before you and after you!

You will learn more being and doing as a Greek than you do in College!

Set Your Prioritys, Do What You Can Do! So Not Over Extend Yourself!

Si?

But, Never Give It Up!

shadokat · #8 10-04-2002, 01:05 PM

I would advise that you talk with these girls who aren't pulling their weight and tell them that they need to. And if they don't want to do the work, then maybe they shouldn't be pledging. If after you all talk to them and things don't change, I'd talk to your big sister.

Shine · #9 10-04-2002, 04:16 PM

Sweetie, I hate to point out the obvious, but you post nothing but complaints. You don't like the way your non-greek friends look at you, you don't like the way the other sororities on campus look at you, and you don't like the fact that fraternities don't want to party with you guys.

I think you should seriosuly sit back and think about why you are pledging your sorority, and decide if you think you have a future in that organization.

Just my opinion.

zchi2 · #10 10-04-2002, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shine
Sweetie, I hate to point out the obvious, but you post nothing but complaints. You don't like the way your non-greek friends look at you, you don't like the way the other sororities on campus look at you, and you don't like the fact that fraternities don't want to party with you guys.

I think you should seriosuly sit back and think about why you are pledging your sorority, and decide if you think you have a future in that organization.

Just my opinion.

Why was I thinking the SAME thing. I know pledging can sometimes be really stressful, but some things that seem to be stressing you out really shouldn't. You have pledge sisters for a reason. They are people who you should be able to count on when you feel like things are building up too fast for you. Some you can count on more than others but you should have some feeling of security with your sisters. Like Shine said you really need to figure out if this is for you. If you can't depend on your sisters now, I doubt it if it changes after you get initiated.

justamom · #11 10-04-2002, 05:30 PM

OK, mixer, philanthropy, banner

The mixer-find a fratenity that need to beef up their philanthropy/volunteeism side. Go to their pledge master (or whatever the term is) and have a social at a club with signup sheets for THEIR pledges as well as your 5. Make it easy stuff.

Sponsor a Greek Night at the same club (use a club that could use extra patrons-they can almost give beverages away if they can be sure there will be volume) and make the entry a can of food or a pesonal item. Give it to a shelter.

Make banners to promote it. If you needa permanent banner,
look up teachers' art projects or something similar to get cheap,
easy ideas.

Fundraiser-Is this for your soroity to raise money? Is it to be a donation Makes a BIG difference on ideas.

Scrapbook and scavage hunt are a piece of cake-why worry?
Meetings-can you meet for lunch or early morning like in HS-get creative!

Sidenote-If a woman has 3 kids, her JOB is more important than anything in conflict with the sorority. I would work around her unless you can meet your requirements with 4 rather than 5 pledges.

XOMichelle · #12 10-04-2002, 05:32 PM

Sometimes planning things in a sorority is tough. I know when I was pledge mom I got really frusterated with people who didn't pull their weight a lot of the time.
But you know what? That is the way things work in life. People work towards the biggest goals collectively, and learning how to deal with your pledge sisters and the actives to get things that you all want to do (and in the end will be fun) done, is practice for life after college. Try not to stress about all these things that are happening now. Do things one little task at a time. Don't overextend yourself by trying to do too much. If you guys can't do something, it's not the end of the world. Remember that the sisters will help you if you ask, that this in the end will make you better at working with people, and (as suzymoonspider said) that the sorority is not the most important thing.

Yea!
-M

ps edit- want to add that justamom has it right. If a woman has three kids, they should come before the sorority. Wouldn't you want your mom to do that for you?

Tom Earp · #13 10-04-2002, 10:36 PM

We in my Alum Group call this the 80/20 syndrome!

80 % dont do Sh*t and 20 % do!

If you are in a small chapter, that makes 3-4 people do the work while the others sit on their asses!

If that is the case, then it is time to have a bitch out session!

I am also sure the same happens with all of these 100+ Groups! Just Who Does The Damn Work! Easier with a larger Chapter, probabally not!

KappaTarzan · #14 10-05-2002, 06:09 PM

no matter what type of org you involve yourself in there will ALWAYS be those people who don't pull their weight, and there will always be times when you feel as though you are doing more work than you should... but it's all worth it in the end.. think of the sense of accomplishment you feel afterwards!!

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #15 10-05-2002, 06:30 PM

Pledge -- WHY did you pledge?