NPC Rush at "bigger schools" and therapy

[CutiePie2000]

I know that there are some schools and campuses out there where getting into an NPC sorority is considered to be of the utmost importance, in terms of one's "social survival".

My question pertains to:
a)the girls who don't get a bid, or
b)get a bid from a sorority that they don't want and so they decline it

Is there any kind of therapy or counselling in place by Panhell to help these girls cope with their dissappointment? Or is it up to the rushees themselves to seek out counselling through the university's student services, etc?

I would be really interested to know whether Panhell has any sort of "coping mechanism" in place. Thank you!

[juniorgrrl]

Okay, this is going to sound a bit mean I guess, but think of it this way: if the girls are so picky about who gets into their NPC groups, and spares no feelings in cutting girls over tiny things, why would they care about the after effects?

I'm sure there are some schools out there that *do* have such a program in place. And I applaud those schools. Its really devastating to have your (temporary) sense of self-worth crushed, because ~800 girls have decided you're not good enough after only meeting you for 30 minutes.

The Rho Chis claim to "be there for you" if you get cut from all the houses. When mine gave me "the call" she read a prepared-sounding statement about how there are other groups on campus that I should get involved in...But otherwise, there is no such program at LSU.

[mgdzkm433]

to my knowledge, there is no Panhell run "coping mechanism", however, each campus being different, it IS widely possible that sororities and fraternities alike, or the actual college/university run their own type of program on campuses. I think that if Panhell would bring such a program to every campus, it wouldn't be widely accepted, for no other reason than why would girls/boys wanted to be comforted by the same organizations that turned them down for membership. I think an outside therapy would be more accepted and benificial to one seeking it. I would think that maybe they would feel more comfortable speaking with someone not directly related to a greek organization. Maybe an outside source could work WITH the sorority/fraternity rush in case they are needed. That might be benificial and is definatly worth looking into.

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by juniorgrrl:
Its really devastating to have your (temporary) sense of self-worth crushed, because ~800 girls have decided you're not good enough after only meeting you for 30 minutes.

The Rho Chis claim to "be there for you" if you get cut from all the houses. When mine gave me "the call" she read a prepared-sounding statement about how there are other groups on campus that I should get involved in.

Thanks to those who replied. I understand that it *would* be devastating, perhaps to the point where some devastated rushees have taken their own lives over it.

[PenguinTrax]

On the two campuses I have the most recruitment experience with, the Rho Chi's extensively counsel young women that are either dropped by certain chapters or do not receive a bid at all. The NPC recommends that all efforts be made to place all potential members. Unfortunately, this is not always possible.

I forget the actual number, but this last year at FSU, a very, very small percentage did not get placed at all. More than half of these were intentional single preference. There were over 1000 women signed up for Recruitment.

Barb

[mgdzkm433]

I personally have a problem with Rho Chi's giving council to ladies turned down, for one reason, they are members of a greek organization and don't exactly know what these young women are going thru, the other reason being simply that they are not a qualified therapist and have no background in counciling. Try as you might to have psychology majors be Rho Chi's, they still are not qualified in this area. I would feel terrible if a Rho Chi said the wrong thing causing a young lady to feel even worse, ultimatly hurting herself, the Rho Chi, or having a vengance toward greek organizations.

[PenguinTrax]

Originally posted by mgdzkm433:
I personally have a problem with Rho Chi's giving council to ladies turned down, for one reason, they are members of a greek organization and don't exactly know what these young women are going thru, the other reason being simply that they are not a qualified therapist and have no background in counciling. Try as you might to have psychology majors be Rho Chi's, they still are not qualified in this area. I would feel terrible if a Rho Chi said the wrong thing causing a young lady to feel even worse, ultimatly hurting herself, the Rho Chi, or having a vengance toward greek organizations.

In my experience, Rho Chi's are instructed in basic counseling as it relates to bid-matching situations. They are instructed to report serious issues to the Greek Life office/director on their campus.

[mgdzkm433]

Yeah, that sounds better, it can still be scary though if you really think about it, but that is definatly a better scenario.

[Suavecita]

A question:

If no one single preferenced, dropped rush, declined bids from houses that were not their first choices---would every woman who went through rush be "placed" in a house?

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by Suavecita:
A question: If no one single preferenced, dropped rush, declined bids from houses that were not their first choices---would every woman who went through rush be "placed" in a house?

Not necessarily. If there are tons of rushees and not enough spots open in the houses, some rushees could still be left out in the "cold". So you see, how potentially devastating Rush can be some girls.

[PenguinTrax]

Originally posted by Suavecita:
A question:

If no one single preferenced, dropped rush, declined bids from houses that were not their first choices---would every woman who went through rush be "placed" in a house?

With the modern bid-matching, everyone completing recruitment will be placed. It could be that a woman's preferences cannot be matched during regular bid-matching. In these cases she will be asked if she will accept a bid from a chapter not on her preference card. If she says no, she is eligible for snap bidding OR informal recruitment.

Barb

[sigmagrrl]

I went thru rush 3 times, and the first 2 times, I was crushed. I was asking "What the hell is wrong with me??", when really, it was just not meant to be at the time. I was persistant and kept trying. It hurt like hell when XYZ turned me down the first time. I backed away from all my friends because I felt like scum. Now, if only someone had TOLD me that this happens, especially at informal rush, I would not have felt so bad. I had no clue about rushing. I thought everyone got in, and how could they not love me?!LOL So what am I saying? I handled it and moved on and up. It gave me a tough skin and gave me the attitude that came shining thru finally, the self confidence. I was a weak pansy and needed the rejection to get a spine. So, personally, I would not have used this sort of counseling you are proposing. I would have felt talked down to and humiliated. Now, is this how other women may handle it? No, but I am glad I used the experience of falling to teach myself that I can pick my self up!

[Microbiomajor]

I was a Rho Chi last fall, so I can give you a little bit of info about my school. We had lots of training for counseling our women. Although we were not certified, we did go through multiple weekend retreats and weekly meetings. We were given handouts of common questions, bounced questions off each other and also did role playing. We have a great counseling center at our school as well that students can go to for free.

Concerning us not understanding these womens' situations because we are IN a GLO, it is a good point, but just because we are in an organization now does not mean that we got our 'first choice' or that we weren't cut from the system completely our first time around. And everyone (or close enough) has been cut by someone they thought they really liked. We may not be in the exact situation, but we've been through a lot and seen it happen to other people as well.

As far as the frequency of women not getting a bid goes, there was one women last year who did not recieve a bid. Our school does a matching system where you rank your top two. If you don't get either of them, you are eligible for a snap bid, but you won't necessarily get one. For women who dropped out, we call them that morning and ask if they will accept a snap bid from xyz sorority. For women who don't get a bid anywhere(extrememely rare) the Rho Chi will go and talk to the woman in person and hopefully will have a snap bid on hand. ) All my women recieved bids, however the ones that dropped out without signing their cards, I personally called and informed them of the sororities open rush parties. We always have a few chapters who don't make 'quota.' One of those 'dropouts' is now my little sis and through her we got 3 more beautiful women. What an asset! )

[Texas Alum]

I think CutiePie2000 poses an interesting question, and I think that would be a wonderful program for any university to institute, hopefully through the Psych or Health Services department though.

I know for a fact that, at a Texas school a couple of years ago, a freshman student jumped out of a dorm window to her death the week after rush was completed. Fact: her dorm was 95% Greek. Rumor: she went through rush and did not get a bid.

No matter what the motivation was for this young lady to do what she did, if the rush rumor is true, that stress could have been the last straw. Maybe a post-rush counseling program would have caught the signs and intervened????

[33girl]

Kinda OT, but does anyone remember that horrible article in Allure a few years ago about William & Mary's rush?

The author (who was obviously not Greek) had no idea why or how the rush process worked, and bemoaned the fact that at the end of rush 40 girls didn't get bids. He mentioned snap bidding and one of the unbidded girls responded "That's only for the loser sororities with the hideous girls." Ummm...maybe that attitude is why you didn't get a bid, honey!!

I wish when schools release the figures of girls who don't get bids, that they would also mention the women who are offered a chance to be a part of Greek life and turn their noses up in the air and reject it because it's not the richest or most popular sorority on campus. Sororities are accused of being superficial; sometimes the rushees also suffer from that flaw.

(hopping delicately off my soapbox)