Ma'am/Sir

MIDWESTDIVA · #1 04-21-2002, 10:22 PM

Is it customary to refer to people as ma'am and sir where you live?

It's been my experience that people in Kansas City hate being called ma'am or sir. It makes them feel old.

NinjaPoodle · #2 04-21-2002, 11:20 PM

Not in my area (San Francisco) but I do it anyway especially to my 'true' elders. I think it shows respect. I do hear it alot at my church though. A good portion of my church members are from the south or their families are from the south so it's not uncommon to hear a ma'me' or sir. Sometimes as I'm passing the hotels downtown, I hear the porters/bellhops using the term.

When I was attending Grambling, a little boy[about 8 or 9] called me ma'me [I was 21 at the time] and it freaked me out for 2 reasons.
The first because I thought I was too young to be call that.
The second because I was actually pleased that he gave me that respect as his elder.

Azul · #3 04-23-2002, 12:53 AM

Here in Sunny Southern Cali., it's rare to hear anyone of any age called Ma'am/Sir. However, when I go back to the Mid-West it is common.

shani · #4 04-23-2002, 01:59 AM

I think saying ma'am or sir, is an lesson learned from parents or grandparents. Speaking from personal experience, my mom and dad NEVER made me say ma'am or sir. But my grandmother would gives me alittle smack whenever I didn't say it.

SoTrue1920 · #5 04-23-2002, 04:26 AM

It's not customary where I live now, but it was customary where I was from; this seems to be changing, however, as more people from outside the South move into the region.

jojapeach · #6 04-23-2002, 12:37 PM

Shani, I was just like you because I was not raised to say "Yes ma'am/sir" to any and everybody. It was mostly used when I got in trouble and I had to respond to Mom and Dad. (IE "Are you going to stop hitting your brother?" "Yes, ma'am.")

I prefer to show courtesy and respect by using ma'am and sir when I talk to anyone, especially my elders. It automatically grants you respect in return. It's sad that some of our children aren't being taught to say ma'am and sir. I know several times, I have to correct teenagers who respond to me with, "Yeah" or "Uh huh". Don't let someone try to get my attention with, "Hey."

That's when I get into regulator mode, and the children always learn.

Generally, it seems quite regional. Being southern bred, it happens more often than not.

Shelacious · #7 04-23-2002, 01:44 PM

I wasn't raised to use Sir or Ma'am. In fact, unless you are older than 55, I will call you what you introduce yourself as...for example, if one of my mother's friends around her age or younger introduces herself (or is introduced as) Wilma, I will call her "Wilma." If I'm introduced to a grandmother's friend or person who's older than 60, then I'll usually add a Mr./ Ms. onto their first or last name (like "Ms. Gloria").

But then again my family is really informal with names (I usually call my parents by their first names, as does my mother), so I'm not a good example of political correctness in naming conventions.

Finally, a pet peeve: please, when you introduce folks to me, please include the name I am supposed to call them. It would drive me crazy to be introduced to somebody's parents as "mom, this is shelacious, shel, this is my mom." What am I supposed to call her--MOM???

With marriages, and remarriages, I can't assume her last name is the same as yours. If, however, you say, "mom, this is shelacious, shel this is my mother, Mrs. Branford," then I know to call her Mrs. Branford. You would think that is commom sense, but NO.....

UNIQUE97 · #8 04-23-2002, 01:50 PM

I am not originally from the south (WISCONSIN) but I have been living here for about nine years and it is very customary to use ma'am and sir and even yes'um depending on how far into the country you venture (redneck land). I was not raised saying it but my mother and aunts and uncles were (my grandparents are from the south). I have picked themup though and I must say that I do use them quite often now and my daughter (born in LOUISIANA) will probably use them too.

FuturePhD · #9 04-23-2002, 02:22 PM

I've lived in TN all my life and it's practically ingrained in me to say Ma'am/Sir to EVERYBODY. If I'm not sure that you are younger than me, I say ma'am or sir. Older people (50+) get called ma'am/sir all the time, but, with other age groups, the title can fall off if you get to know them really well. When I go through the drive through I say it ("Would you like fries with that?" "No ma'am"), whenever somebody asks me a question, it's normally a yes or no followed by ma'am or sir, it's gotten to be a habit. And it's a peeve of mine when people get upset when you call them that, for me, it's not about age, it's about respect. I almost got into a brawl in New York when this older lady got mad at me for calling her ma'am!

I just wish people wouldn't be so sensitive.

EntycinglyBleu · #10 04-24-2002, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by FuturePhD
I've lived in TN all my life and it's practically ingrained in me to say Ma'am/Sir to EVERYBODY. If I'm not sure that you are younger than me, I say ma'am or sir. Older people (50+) get called ma'am/sir all the time, but, with other age groups, the title can fall off if you get to know them really well. When I go through the drive through I say it ("Would you like fries with that?" "No ma'am"), whenever somebody asks me a question, it's normally a yes or no followed by ma'am or sir, it's gotten to be a habit. And it's a peeve of mine when people get upset when you call them that, for me, it's not about age, it's about respect. I almost got into a brawl in New York when this older lady got mad at me for calling her ma'am! I just wish people wouldn't be so sensitive.

AMEN: I live in TN too and it engrained in my genes to say yes Ma'am or Sir. It is really crucial, when you call your friends Ma'm or Sir.

SeriousSigma22 · #11 04-24-2002, 04:18 PM

Folks,

I was always taught to say yes ma'am and sir out of respect at a very early age! My parents never disciplined me if I forgot to address an older person in that manner. They would just politely remind me that I was talking to an older person and out of respect to answer yes sir or no sir, etc. I think that my father was more strict with this rule because he was a career military man!

Serioussigma22

PrettyPetite · #12 04-24-2002, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shelacious
I wasn't raised to use Sir or Ma'am. In fact, unless you are older than 55, I will call you what you introduce yourself as...for example, if one of my mother's friends around her age or younger introduces herself (or is introduced as) Wilma, I will call her "Wilma." If I'm introduced to a grandmother's friend or person who's older than 60, then I'll usually add a Mr./ Ms. onto their first or last name (like "Ms. Gloria").

I have to agree with that. At the school where I work, my paraprofessional (teacher's aide), the school receptionist, the treasurer, etc. are old enough to be my mother/grandmother. So, when they introduced themselves to me, as Maggie, Raquel, Maria, etc. I politely added Ms. in front of their names. Why, because that is how I was raised! My mother was quick to correct me if I forgot to add the miss or mr. to an elder's name! I must be the only teacher in the school that calls them Ms. Maggie, Ms. Raquel, and Ms. Maria. And, to add a twist to it, our receptionist allows the student body (grades 6-8....12-14 year olds) to call her Maggie.

not my students! I told them, if I EVER hear you call her Maggie in my presence.....

but I digress.

I think a lot of it has to do with culture and upbringing.

stillwater15 · #13 04-24-2002, 11:31 PM

being from new jersey, ma'am and sir weren't in my vocab until i went to school in alabama. that was when i got cussed out by my friend's mom for not referring to her as ma'am. since then, i've been using ma'am/sir, even though it makes some people feel uncomfortable.