Is this right?

Bridget3D · #1 02-01-2002, 01:52 AM

.

Kevlar281 · #2 02-01-2002, 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bridget3D
I am caught in the middle. Are some of my sisters wrong for leaving other sisters out of things?

Well if your sisters are complaining then obviously there is a problem that needs to be addressed before something of insignificance is blown out of proportion. Maybe all the sisters who cant/don’t want to go should all go do something. It’s not like your obligated to do nothing just because some sisters choose to go do what others cant.

Bridget3D · #3 02-01-2002, 02:29 AM

I understand what you mean, sure some of the "left out" sisters can do something else, but it is the principle. This should not be happening within a sorority.

chopper816 · #4 02-01-2002, 02:35 AM

I think maybe some kind of sisterhood event would be the way to go here. It could improve relations between the older and younger sisters. If that doesnt work, then I would say bring it up in the meeting or have a pass the gavel type of event and share the problem with everyone.

Kevlar281 · #5 02-01-2002, 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bridget3D
I understand what you said Kevlar, but it is the principle that is upsetting some of my sisters.

Well like I said if your sisters are complaining (being upset) then it is a problem that needs to be addressed. Now as my personal feelings go as whether or not the sisters that go clubbing are in the “wrong” it could go either way but if they are making a routine out of going out to 21 and up clubs after every meeting then yes they are committing an exclusionary act towards their sisters who cant go or choose not to go.

James · #6 02-01-2002, 02:38 AM

It speaks well of you that you posted. Yes its a problem but wouldn't say it was their "fault". ITs your responsibility to design a series of events that will bring people together.

It helps that you are an older more experienced member. I think we have all seen how high morale gets when a really fun event is over and yet there is no follow-up generally.

So lets ee you need three levels of events. Fun, lets everyone get to know each other better (how many members of your chapter?) and promotes a quality bonding . .. I am too tired to go into right now but if you like we can workout some pretty good events tomorrow. . . but please indicate if you are interested?

gnight.

Bridget3D · #7 02-01-2002, 02:41 AM

Yes James, I am interested.

xo_sue · #8 02-01-2002, 09:18 AM

It was a tradition in my chapter, after the meeting - everyone 21 and over would go out. I never felt slighted or even really cared... when my time came.. I went out. It is always hard to do things with the seniors because some go thru "burn out" and aren't around much, some are engaged or pinned and always with their boyfriend; some are just trying to get everything set to graduate and some are out every night at the bars. The best thing for your younger classes to do is lunch & dinner. That is when I would always get quality time with the 21 and over crowd. You could spend two hours in the dining hall- just talking.

Now, if the 21 and over crowd is avoiding these underclassman during lunch and dinner and won't eat with them... then that is a problem.

xo_sue · #9 02-01-2002, 11:59 AM

I can see your frustration- especially after a workshop- they could pick a place like Ruby Tuesdays or Fridays - some place where everyone can go - those who want to drink can but the younger girls can have a good time too.

I was seeing this as the whole senior class but now I'm thinking you have a click on your hands. Is that the case?

LeslieAGD · #10 02-01-2002, 12:56 PM

Bridget,

My suggestion is to go out to dinner before meeting. That way, all the girls feeling excluded can go out before meeting and have fun and maybe they won't feel bad when the others want to go out after meeting.

Also, try to have sisterhood events where people have to work in groups. Have the groups pre-assigned so that you can split up the "cliques" and get people to socialize that normally wouldn't.

You can even work with your personal development chair (if you have one) and have her do a program where you have to spend time with a different sister every week. Then people would turn in cards to the PD chair saying: "I spent time with _____," "we _____ (went shopping, talked on the phone, played video games, etc)," "something new I learned about her is ______."

Hope things get better.

Bridget3D · #11 02-01-2002, 02:14 PM

That's a good idea Leslie! Do you have any examples of activities that can split them up?
In a benign way (wanted to get that straight).

Eirene_DGP · #12 02-01-2002, 03:33 PM

Yeah I agree the problem definately needs to be addressed. Within every sorority you are going to have certain sisters who will cling to others, but it is not ok to intentionally exclude people. You would expect that kind of behavior from associates, not your own sisters.

FuzzieAlum · #13 02-01-2002, 07:54 PM

Not to sound corny, but a chapter divided against itself cannot stand. Either rushees will sense the resentment in the house and not join, or a group of unhappy women will leave the chapter. I don't think it matters who is "in the right," so to speak.

A chapter SHOULD do social things together - although they don't have to do EVERYTHING together. It's not unusual for one pledge class to hang out at Bar X or a group of seniors to go down to Club Y most Fridays. But if the girls never spend time together voluntarily - if the only time they hang out is at chapter or other required events - there is going to be a problem. That's not sisterhood and that's not friendship.

So, yes, some "scheduled but not required" casual social events are a good idea.

33girl · #14 02-01-2002, 08:06 PM

Dagnabbit Tibi, you just stole all the best stuff I was going to say.

Bridget - how big is your chapter and the school/town? The bigger a chapter is and the more social options there are, the more cliques there will be. That's just a fact. If there is only one place to hang out at in the whole town obviously everyone will end up there.

I'm going to play devil's advocate here. You say you really don't like going to clubs and such. Is it possible that you (and some of the other sisters who are feeling "left out") expressed that opinion and so the girls who were going clubbing thought "if she hates it so we won't ask her to go"? I mean there are sisters of mine who hate that type of thing too - so I'm not going to ask them. But I really like doing it, so why should I stop?

We always had things like the whole chapter going to Perkins (a Denny's type place) after rituals and big-little. Try to get something like that started, rather than trying to "break up" people who have formed bonds.

LeslieAGD · #15 02-02-2002, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bridget3D
That's a good idea Leslie! Do you have any examples of activities that can split them up?
In a benign way (wanted to get that straight).

Thanks Bridget! Like 33girl, I think I could help more if I knew the dynamics of your chapter. For me, my chapter is at a mid-sized Michigan school with a significant commuter based. Our ceiling is 55 and right now we have 45 members. At any scheduled event, we usually have between 30 and 40 members present. For us, we could do a game night where we play scategories and split up like two members per pledge class in each team and then group the extra sisters together. For a larger chapter, say 75+, you could maybe do a sisterhood/philanthropy for a children's hospital...like, goodie baskets. Break the girls into groups and maybe have one group make the cards, one group decorate the baskets w/ ribbon, one group stuff the baskets, etc.

You should also consult you manual. I know when I was Sisterhood Coordinator for my chapter, my manual had a bunch of team-building activities.