Soul Mate not your Partner????

Boodleboy322 · #1 01-15-2006, 06:49 PM

Do you find it weird if the person you're dating has told you that they do believe in Soul Mates but it's not you?

Here's the deal, I'm dating this girl and her Soul Mate is a male who is also her best friend. When I asked her why she never hooked up with the guy to begin with she said that they're too good of friends that if they ever did hook up and broke up it would be too much of a catastrophe.

Is this possible? Can you be with someone, possibly marry a guy and at the same time have a another guy as your soul mate/best friend?

AchtungBaby80 · #2 01-15-2006, 06:59 PM

That whole "soul mate" thing...I'm not sure I buy it. What she's probably trying to say is that she feels a really deep connection with this guy but the good news is that it's purely platonic. Since I tend to be on the jealous side, I would find this uncomfortable just because I would want my partner to have that kind of connection with me instead of a friend of the opposite sex, but the thing is, those kinds of relationships don't necessarily translate to the best love matches. I've met guys before that I've gotten along with like no other, and we had so much in common it was scary, but they made better friends than boyfriends. Who wants to date someone who's a version of yourself?

If I were you, I would only get riled up if she gives her friendship with this guy higher priority than your relationship, all that "soul mate" crap be damned.

BobbyTheDon · #3 01-15-2006, 08:09 PM

The other day I was listening to my ipod while running at the gym the other day. As I was running I started to sing outloud, " I want to live...WHERE THE SOUL MEEEEEETS BODYYYyyyyyyy".

I hadn't realize I was singing that loud, until some girl started laughing at me. I ripped out my earphones and she said she liked "Deathcab for cutie". But my ears were still ringing because the ipod was so loud, that I thought she said " Death to you cutie".

I gave her the "what the F are yo utalkin about" look. And went away. It was only later that I realized what she said.

Oh, and I don't believe in soul mates. I believe in voodoo though

honeychile · #4 01-15-2006, 08:38 PM

I don't believe in soul mates either. It seems more like a concept that Hallmark designed than an actual love based on reciprocation and respect. If I had a dime for every couple comprised of "soul mates" who have separated or divorced, I could retire.

I do, however, believe in sole mates.

amycat412 · #5 01-15-2006, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Boodleboy322
Do you find it weird if the person you're dating has told you that they do believe in Soul Mates but it's not you?

Here's the deal, I'm dating this girl and her Soul Mate is a male who is also her best friend. When I asked her why she never hooked up with the guy to begin with she said that they're too good of friends that if they ever did hook up and broke up it would be too much of a catastrophe.

Is this possible? Can you be with someone, possibly marry a guy and at the same time have a another guy as your soul mate/best friend?

Oddly enough, this is the exact situation I now find myself in. I don't think my semi-estranged boyfriend is my soul mate. I think my best male friend is.

PM_Mama00 · #6 01-15-2006, 11:24 PM

I believe in soul mates, but I don't think it has anything to do with a significant other. I know I'm meant to be friends with my best friends, so I consider them my soul mates... and they are women.

Boodleboy322 · #7 01-15-2006, 11:50 PM

I tend to lean a little on the jealous side. I think that your fiancee/husband or wife should be your best friend in addition to all of the other things (I.E. Physical, Personality, etc).

amycat412 · #8 01-16-2006, 01:53 AM

I think so too Boodleboy. Soul mate is who should be your husband/wife. My particular soul mate and I have &*^%$# our relationship up alot but remained best friends. lol

#9 01-16-2006, 07:28 AM

I find it hard to believe that a male and female can become extremely good friends, especially to the point of being "soul mates" and be completely platonic. Maybe in actions, but not feelings. It has been my experience with everyone I know who has a best friend who is the opossite sex that either the guy or girl begins to have feelings for the other, even if they date someone else. I agree that the "soulmate" or whatever you want to tcall it should be your spouse. There is no one on the planet that you should be closer to, male or female.

valkyrie · #10 01-16-2006, 12:12 PM

Boodleboy, I hate to say it, but RUN. You're in for a world of misery with this woman. If she tells you someone else is her soul mate, she's just not that into you.

I think people can have more than one soul mate, which I suppose means that I don't really believe in "soul mates" as a concept. I don't know. I always say that my cat is my soul mate, LOL.

sugar and spice · #11 01-16-2006, 04:02 PM

I don't believe in soul mates, but I agree with what AchtungBaby said about "deep connections." To be honest, the best connections do not equal the best relationships I've had. The two best connections I've ever felt with guys were actually two of the worst relationships I've ever had. The best relationships came from people who were practical about things and willing to work at them, not just relying on the connection we felt.

Because of my experience, I don't think there's anything wrong with having deep connections with people other than the person you're with -- but if you believe differently, a relationship with somebody who shares my viewpoint will never work. It will cause way too much stress on both sides.

My best friend is also a guy -- and not just any guy, but my first boyfriend ever, and a guy who happens to have NEVER liked me with any of the boyfriends I've had since. (There have been a few he's liked as people, but not as my boyfriend.) He and I know each other so well that we can essentially pinpoint how the other's relationship will end based on the significant other's personality. I definitely understand the kind of strains this can put on a relationship . . . and he's not even someone I consider myself to have a "deep connection with," he's just someone I get along with pretty well and have a long history with.

Boodleboy322 · #12 01-17-2006, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ADPiZXalum
I find it hard to believe that a male and female can become extremely good friends, especially to the point of being "soul mates" and be completely platonic. Maybe in actions, but not feelings. It has been my experience with everyone I know who has a best friend who is the opossite sex that either the guy or girl begins to have feelings for the other, even if they date someone else. I agree that the "soulmate" or whatever you want to tcall it should be your spouse. There is no one on the planet that you should be closer to, male or female.

Thank You!

Rudey · #13 01-17-2006, 11:18 AM

You and Jester should talk over a bottle of wine.

-Rudey
--Without shirts on, while watching Hercules with Kevin Sorbo.

SissyC0109 · #14 01-19-2006, 04:38 AM

My "soul mate" is married to someone entirely not me. They have a daughter named Charlotte.

AGDee · #15 01-19-2006, 10:55 AM

I had a really strong connection with a guy in high school and college and considered him my best friend during that time. Other guys I dated (and girls he dated) were definitely threatened by our relationship and it caused problems at times. I will also admit that we held an attraction for each other which we fought. We both knew that we would NOT be a good couple because I'm a VERY independent woman and he was very traditional in his ideas about what his wife would be. He wanted a woman who would be happy in the barefoot and pregnant realm and I was definitely into wanting a career. From this basic difference, we knew that a romantic relationship would be a total disaster, but we just loved hanging out together and loved each other on a different level.

I don't believe in the Soul Mate idea, but I do believe in more of a kindred spirit thing. There are some people that you meet and you just instantly click with them, whether on a romantic or a friendship level. I believe our spirits knew each other in a different place or time and so we end up with a connection very quickly. This can be a male or female and if it happens with a member of the opposite gender, it doesn't necessarily mean that it is going to be a romantic connection.