How to decline?

Jake17 · #1 08-25-2013, 08:30 PM

Sorry to say I didn't do what I felt I should have done last night. I maximized my options knowing I didn't feel a good fit with a house after preference day. Today I received a bid from that house. I went to the party for a little bit to give it a chance, but I knew it wasn't for me. I just worse when I went to the party and a few girls were already talking about dropping.
How do I respectfully decline the bid?

KSUViolet06 · #2 08-25-2013, 08:40 PM

Note: If you signed a preference card and received a bid to this group, then went to their bid day party, you are bound to that group for a year. So even if you depledge now, you must wait ONE year to go through recruitment again.

As to depledging: Meet up with your NM Educator and discuss your concerns. She will likely want to know some of why you feel like depledging.

I can't tell you exactly what wording to use, but I can tell you that your NM Educator LOVES her sorority. While you don't feel at home there, she has for a number of years. So choose your words wisely.

It's ok to say "I don't think this chapter is a good fit for me." However, avoid "This house sucks and everyone wants to drop" or anything of that nature. If you join another chapter (which you must wait a year due to accepting a bid to this chapter), you'll see these women on campus and you would never want to be known as "that girl who said really rude stuff to the NM Ed before she dropped. In short, be an adult and speak like one.

I can also tell you NOT TO do so via FB, email, or other impersonal means.

wavycutchip · #3 08-25-2013, 08:43 PM

Jake17, I am sorry that you didn't get the outcome you wanted and are now considering dropping from your new chapter house. Since you signed your bid card, you are bound to this group for 1 calendar year (until next formal recruitment) if you stay on this campus. I would consider giving it another week or two. It doesn't matter if you drop now, or the day before initiation.....either way you can't pledge another group for a full year.

To answer your question, talk to the new member educator or president of the chapter. They are the ones able to walk you through the process at this point, since you have accepted a bid and went to bid day activities. I would also assume they will reach out to you if you do not attend the activities this week that you were asked to attend today.

ladybug12 · #4 08-25-2013, 08:47 PM

I would advise you to at least give it a try. Many women have been disappointed on Bid Day. Most of those who give it some time and get to know their new sisters end up staying and ultimately love their sorority experience.
You will never know unless you give it your all for a few weeks.

gatordeltapgh · #5 08-25-2013, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wavycutchip

... you stay on this campus. I would consider giving it another week or two. It doesn't matter if you drop now, or the day before initiation.....either way you can't pledge another group for a full year...

When I think of the campuses that had bid day today, I'd say it would be difficult for women who drop after bid day to have a successful recruitment next fall. Not impossible, but difficult.

You need to do what is best for you, but this could be your only opportunity to be Greek on your campus. Maybe you could join together with the others who are considering dropping and really make a go of things.

Best of luck with your decision.

ladybug12 · #6 08-25-2013, 08:54 PM

One question. How would you be feeling right now if you had not maximized your options and gotten the call today that you did not have a bid at all?
I would recommend that you read Lovethesand's recruitment story about her daughter's recruitment last year and her now happy ending. It has been bumped and is near the top of the story list.

Jake17 · #7 08-25-2013, 11:07 PM

I read the story, and I liked her writing style. My mom probably felt the same way.
Anyway I am going to give it a try. A sweet kid on my floor came to visit after he heard I had a rough day. He told me I should be proud that I made it to bid day and I should give the whole group a chance.

pinkpolkadot · #8 08-25-2013, 11:11 PM

I know if is difficult to hear, but you are bound to this chapter for one year. Give it a chance. Meet the other members of your pledge class and attend events to see if you can connect with any of the older sisters. If you think there is even the smallest chance this chapter could be your home, go for it!

If you decide the isn't for you, contact your new member coordinator and she will help you through the process.

IndianaSigKap · #9 08-25-2013, 11:13 PM

Good for you for giving it another chance and trying to make the best of the situation! All you can do is try. And it sounds like you have made a friend, it was nice of the guy on your floor to give you a pep talk.