Question for brothers from a girl

[cr2817]

Hey guys! I've looked through the threads and have seen this touched on before, but never really answered. Hopefully its a quick question!

My boyfriend is considering rushing. Our school has a fairly active Greek life but not as big as, say, Alabama. Anyway, after talking to various brothers and myself talking to their girlfriends, a majority of them mentioned something I didn't know was common. They all mentioned that they hired strippers for rush events or big brother night, or something along those lines. Is this common for most frats and am I just naive? My boyfriend says he doesn't particularly want to join a brotherhood that brags about hiring strippers (one of the houses even has a stripper pole in the basement) but he also doesn't not want to pledge anywhere.

Thanks in advance for your help and hopefully this isn't a stupid question!

[Always AlphaGam]

Originally Posted by cr2817

Hey guys! I've looked through the threads and have seen this touched on before, but never really answered. Hopefully its a quick question!

My boyfriend is considering rushing. Our school has a fairly active Greek life but not as big as, say, Alabama. Anyway, after talking to various brothers and myself talking to their girlfriends, a majority of them mentioned something I didn't know was common. They all mentioned that they hired strippers for rush events or big brother night, or something along those lines. Is this common for most frats and am I just naive? My boyfriend says he doesn't particularly want to join a brotherhood that brags about hiring strippers (one of the houses even has a stripper pole in the basement) but he also doesn't not want to pledge anywhere.

Thanks in advance for your help and hopefully this isn't a stupid question!

Even if something like this happened I doubt many fraternity members will admit publicly...hence the crickets chirping in this post.

If your boyfriend wants to rush, leave him be and let him rush. If a chapter does these things, then let him decide what to do. It really isn't any of your business.

[cr2817]

Originally Posted by Always AlphaGam

Even if something like this happened I doubt many fraternity members will admit publicly...hence the crickets chirping in this post.

If your boyfriend wants to rush, leave him be and let him rush. If a chapter does these things, then let him decide what to do. It really isn't any of your business.

Thanks for the input! I normally wouldn't ask a question like this but my boyfriend, who knows I frequent GC regularly, asked me to post this as he didn't want to make an account. I completely understand the silence and I probably should't have even asked.

[adpiucf]

It's easy. He can simply not join the ones that brag about it, and if he joins one and later finds out there will be such an activity, he can use his big boy voice and tell them it makes him uncomfortable, and he'll see them at the next social event.

[DubaiSis]

Hiring strippers might be distasteful (and frankly confusing to many of us here) but it's not illegal. If he's concerned about it, he should ask them. There's no reason for them to lie about it, so he can just move his interest to another chapter if he finds one who thinks it's awesome to fantasize about women while in a room crowded with men.

/eta I think it's perfectly legal to hire a stripper to come to a private residence. But someone can correct me if I'm wrong on that. But regardless, it's still creepy and weird.

[cr2817]

Adpiucf- Just going off by what he's told me, he isn't afraid to walk away. I think it's more that he was not aware of this happening and (his words not mine) "wants a brotherhood founded on something stronger then hiring strippers". His opinion and view on the situation, not mine.

DubaiSis- we both are in 100 percent agreement with you. Part of the reason we asked this question is because I thought I had read before that some frats at other schools have gotten in trouble for having strippers come to their house. As for moving interests, out of the 6 houses he's spoken to, all have mentioned strippers. There are more frats on campus then 6, but he's starting to become discouraged. It also doesn't help that my school is consistently in the "top party school rankings" so these guys may be trying to live up to a reputation.

Either way, my boyfriend is rethinking going through recruitment now (hopefully recruitment the word for guys too!) but for other reasons other then strippers but thank you again for your input everyone! Next time he has a question, I'll make HIM post it

[DubaiSis]

Tell him to keep at it. They can't all be pigs. BUT, if the school has a big party rep, that may mean he chooses a smaller house with a much lower, or nonexistent reputation. But that's not all bad. He's probably found the big, very out there fraternities first (better at partying might equal better at rushing or promoting rush events).

[cr2817]

DubaiSis- This is all very true! Honestly, the reason he's been talking to these houses is because they are the ones with his friends in them. I'll relay this info to him right now and see how he feels about looking at the smaller houses! Unfortunately, he just realized last night he might not have the required GPA for recruitment, which is why I mentioned him thinking about not doing it. There are still about 10 more houses he hasn't even spoken to, and you're right. They can't ALL be pigs

Oh, and sorry if I'm spelling poorly or writing out of order! I'm posting this from my phone!

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by cr2817

DubaiSis- This is all very true! Honestly, the reason he's been talking to these houses is because they are the ones with his friends in them. I'll relay this info to him right now and see how he feels about looking at the smaller houses! Unfortunately, he just realized last night he might not have the required GPA for recruitment, which is why I mentioned him thinking about not doing it. There are still about 10 more houses he hasn't even spoken to, and you're right. They can't ALL be pigs

Oh, and sorry if I'm spelling poorly or writing out of order! I'm posting this from my phone!

If they're his friends already, doesn't he realize there might be more than one side to them, and that one of those sides might be an interest in something he isn't interested in seeing....

[cr2817]

DGTess- I may have used the term "friend" too lightly. More that they were all in his grade at the same high school. I guess acquaintance is a better word! He transferred to our school, so these are really the only people he knows.

Like they would reveal that kind of information. For the record, I go to a school with a party reputation as well.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by cr2817

Adpiucf- Just going off by what he's told me, he isn't afraid to walk away. I think it's more that he was not aware of this happening and (his words not mine) "wants a brotherhood founded on something stronger than hiring strippers". His opinion and view on the situation, not mine.

DubaiSis- we both are in 100 percent agreement with you. Part of the reason we asked this question is because I thought I had read before that some frats at other schools have gotten in trouble for having strippers come to their house. As for moving interests, out of the 6 houses he's spoken to, all have mentioned strippers. There are more frats on campus then 6, but he's starting to become discouraged. It also doesn't help that my school is consistently in the "top party school rankings" so these guys may be trying to live up to a reputation.

Either way, my boyfriend is rethinking going through recruitment now (hopefully recruitment the word for guys too!) but for other reasons other than strippers but thank you again for your input everyone! Next time he has a question, I'll make HIM post it

At the bolded: during rush (recruitment), it is not unusual for a chapter (not all) to primarily present the “fun” side of the brotherhood. That by joining the chapter, you not only will have the brotherhood, but the “fun” that goes with it.

And it is also not usual for chapters to brag and boast about their social activities. And since one chapter has mentioned strippers, the other chapters might feel it necessary to mention that they too have – or had – strippers at an event. They may feel a need to do so to be competitive. Especially if the campus is viewed as a “top party school”.

And for what it is worth if he feels uncomfortable, he can always skip the event as adpiucf noted. Unless strippers are part of ritual and/or mandatory.

Again, what others have said is spot on. He needs to talk with the members and ask them about his concerns. It may be simply more boasting than anything else.

Originally Posted by cr2817

DGTess- I may have used the term "friend" too lightly. More that they were all in his grade at the same high school. I guess acquaintance is a better word! He transferred to our school, so these are really the only people he knows.

Even if these men are just acquaintances, he should still talk to them regarding his interest in the fraternity. Generally speaking, acquaintances become our friends - but only after we get to know them. And getting to know members of the fraternity is part of what rush is all about.

[Firehouse]

Well (*cough*)...I have some (a-hem) expereince with this that I can share.

Many years ago when I was rush chairman I arranged to have strippers one night during rush week. It may or may not have been illegal, but we assumed it to be and posted nervous guards at the doors. It certainly wasn't something we wanted the school to know about in any case.
I thought it would be a big hit with the rushees. It was the 1970s and the drinking age was 18 and having a blast was what rush was all about.
We had a huge chapter and they were all there. There were also about 40 invitation-only rushees. We had some preliminary warm-up entertainment and then the girls came on later.

Several things happened.
The Brothers had a tremendous time, and paid little attention to the rushees.
The rushees were freshman and many of them had not yet been exposed to - let's call it the 'artistry' - of the evening. As soon as the show was over, they bolted out of the house.
My guage of a good event in rush week was 'how many pledges did we get tonight?' It was a great show, and expensive, but we only got 4 pledges out of it.
The lessons:
1) Don't scare the customers;
2) Don't put the Brothers in a position where they're going to do something other than rush;
3) Stick to your core business; concentrate on closing the deal;
4) Don't be stupid by placing the chapter in danger of embarrassment or worse.