College Grad Looking for Help

PhillyPhan · #1 05-21-2012, 02:00 PM

Hey there! I don't know if anyone can help me but I'm looking to see if there's a chance.

I'm 32. I graduated from a college here in Philly -- I'd rather not say which one. We had a very active Greek Life when I was there. Unfortunately, I didn't join a frat. The friends I made early in school were all very much anti-frat (sort of the early template for hipsters). I always wanted to pledge, though, but never did for fear of losing these friends.

This was the biggest regret of my life. I've always regretted not following my heart and pledging. I could see the benefits of the brotherhoods and ties established back in college. And I can see it even now, since there are so many business ties connected to fraternity/sorority membership in the business world.

Does anyone have thoughts as to how I could rectify this? Obviously, I'm not going to relive Old School. But I'd very much like to try and get some of what I missed in my life. Could a non-member hang out at an alumni event or the like? I really would do anything to do something like that...

DrPhil · #2 05-21-2012, 02:04 PM

Before GCers get started, if he was interested in an NPHC fraternity, his post would be completely different. Recommend something else to him.

knight_shadow · #3 05-21-2012, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Before GCers get started, if he was interested in an NPHC fraternity, his post would be completely different. Recommend something else to him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhillyPhan

Does anyone have thoughts as to how I could rectify this? Obviously, I'm not going to relive Old School. But I'd very much like to try and get some of what I missed in my life. Could a non-member hang out at an alumni event or the like? I really would do anything to do something like that...

1. You're not going to get the college experience by hanging out at an alumni event

2. You're likely not going to be invited to an alumni event if you're a non-member

3. Any "open" fraternity events for your age group are likely going to be similar to business functions, so there's not going to be "OMG SECRET FRAT STUFF" going on at any of these things

33girl · #4 05-21-2012, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhillyPhan

Could a non-member hang out at an alumni event or the like? I really would do anything to do something like that...

Sure, if you want all the attendees to point at you and make fun of you and call you a creeper.

You didn't do something you really wanted to do because of your friends. You have realized this was a bad plan. The time window to do what you wanted to do and have what you wanted to have is gone. Call it a lesson learned.

Honestly, in this neck of the woods, you are way overstating the fraternal ties as far as business is concerned. If someone from (example) Drexel has a choice between hiring someone else who went to Drexel, but wasn't in his fraternity, and someone in his fraternity who went to UCLA...guess what...the Drexel grad is probably going to have the upper hand.

DrPhil · #5 05-21-2012, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Sure, if you want all the attendees to point at you and make fun of you and call you a creeper.

Is that how it is for the non-NPHC NIC fraternity alumni chapters in Philly?

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Honestly, in this neck of the woods, you are way overstating the fraternal ties as far as business is concerned. If someone from (example) Drexel has a choice between hiring someone else who went to Drexel, but wasn't in his fraternity, and someone in his fraternity who went to UCLA...guess what...the Drexel grad is probably going to have the upper hand.

It is not so formulaic regardless of the neck of the woods. Membership is just like any other social tie. It can help you sometimes, hinder you sometimes, and be ignored sometimes.

PhillyPhan · #6 05-21-2012, 02:35 PM

Ha! I knew what I asked for might come off as weird. I suppose it does.

As far as business ties, I know first-hand that Greek membership can pay off in dividends.

At a place I worked at, I got a new boss. He didn't go to college in Philly. He was, however, a member of Tau Kappa Epsilon (I hope I got that right.) Anyways, another co-worker of mine was a member of the same fraternity and he got a promotion. I kind of got the hint. I had to do some hiring at that job and anytime I saw someone who belonged to that frat, their resume definitely got pushed to the top of the list and, more often than not, got the position.

It made my boss very happy to bring in fellow TKE members.

knight_shadow · #7 05-21-2012, 02:38 PM

Was this co-worker a shitty worker who ONLY got a promotion because of his affiliation? Or did he actually earn that promotion?

Your boss is a dick if he's ONLY hiring/promoting people that are TKEs.

DubaiSis · #8 05-21-2012, 03:27 PM

The closest thing you're going to get to the bonds of brotherhood, for lack of a better phrase, is to get involved with an organization that is important to you, make friends, take leadership roles and be the friend you want in others. That doesn't have to have Greek letters or secret rituals involved. As 33girl said, that ship has sailed, and wouldn't necessarily have the pay-off anyway. But if you joined, say, the Jaycees, Lions, Rotary, etc., over time you would make some of those connections that can help you socially and professionally. And don't think it doesn't give you the instant pay off fraternity membership would. Fraternity membership is NO instant pay off. If you know a guy who hires guys only because they're TKEs, that is an anomaly of astronomical proportions.

psusue · #9 05-21-2012, 06:04 PM

I agree with k_s. There may have been other factors in his promotion that you weren't aware of. Perhaps you should approach him about additional responsibilities if you are interested in a promotion. I don't know, but I think that may be a better way to go about this than attempting to joining his fraternity, if that is even possible (I don't know, I'm an NPC sorority member).

Kevin · #10 05-21-2012, 07:15 PM

Join the Masons or something.

You're 32.

AnotherKD · #11 05-21-2012, 07:38 PM

You're my boy, Blue!

excelblue · #12 05-21-2012, 09:07 PM

Door's already closed. Try something else.

Truth of the matter is, Greek organizations, as great as they are, aren't the only path to gaining "brothers." The same type of bonds happen in many other instances where people work closely to a common goal. This includes being in the military, co-founding a company, being on the same team, etc.

The Greek system is basically an infrastructure that ensures that the brotherhood happens.

33girl · #13 05-22-2012, 10:21 AM

DrPhil....yes, in the Northeast, this is pretty much what I see. It's much more based on your school than your (NPC or NIC) affiliation. There were tons of Duquesne rings at my old job, and that wasn't a coincidence. (The president and 2nd in command were alums.) Then again, Duq is a mid-sized private college.

That being said, if this guy's boss is just seeing "TKE" on the resume and hiring people, no matter the school, it's going to bite him in the ass eventually.

He is DEFINITELY an anomaly.

IrishLake · #14 05-22-2012, 10:44 AM

Ditto. You're 32. The greek ship has sailed. (I will reach through the computer and slap anyone who sends him to HRPL). Time to find a brotherhood with the Elks, Kiwanas, Lions, etc.

Most of the Elks I know love it. They do lots of service and fundraisers, and they have a bar at their clubhouse that serves super cheap alcohol.

DrPhil · #15 05-22-2012, 12:42 PM

The OP does not know why that person was promoted just like we only know why people are hired and promoted when we are the ones doing the hiring and promoting.

Across the country, GLO membership sometimes matters and sometimes it doesn't. Even when it matters, that does not mean the person was not highly qualified with or without the GLO membership. It also does not mean GLO membership was the ultimate determinant.