under total, negative stereotypes, not sure what to do?

[WellWhatever729]

Ok everyone, my house has kind of a dilemma.

On our campus, we're known as the "fat sorority." I never even knew this until a significant time after I was initiated, not that it would have mattered - I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else! The problem we have is that weve noticed in the past few years that its getting more difficult to get girls to accept their bids andctually going through initiation and enjoying their time in our house becausethey don't want to be a member of the "fat sorority." Because of this (and a few past internal problems that have since been resolved), we are now left under campus total - and we're having trouble getting girls in the door for COR events.

I guess what I'm asking is, how can we get rid of the "stereotypes" and awesome women in our door? I really love my house and its done so much for me, I really want us to have the best women for our house but being under campus total is such a huge issue at the moment that we're kind of at a loss as to where to go from here.

Sorry if this is worded oddly, I'm not that great with words. Any advice would be appreciated!

Eta: very few girls on our campus even want to go through recruitment, so that's another issue.

[DubaiSis]

The only thing you can do is be well enough known that everyone else can move on from it. Participate in everything, (sadly, especially the prettiest girls need to be the most visible), make sure all members look good all the time. The "pretty house" can show up at class with mattress head, but you can't. Continue to be selective in your membership - don't get desperate!

And take heart! It sounds like you are at a small Greek campus. That means your efforts can pay off more quickly than in a system where each chapter has 150+ members. Talk about this among your sisters and gain consensus on what they all think should be done.

[HQWest]

DubaiSis had some excellent points. Being visible and friendly is the best way to combat this. Encourage girls to wear their letters and represent everywhere. Everyone should have letters on their car, on their backpack, on their sweatshirt, etc. Have somebody show up to participate in every philanthropy event - they don't have to win, just show up, be supportive, and smile!

You might make a game of it? One chapter I advised had a "secret sister" for the week. On one day chosen at random, if she bumped into you and you were wearing your letters (and representing), you got a sticker or a lollipop or house points or something.

Another way to combat this is with attitude. Save gossip or complaints for the chapter or behind closed doors. If a PNM sees you complaining all the time, why would she ever want to join? Cultivate the girls that just aren't sure about sorority life, invite them to a movie night or to be on the softball team. (i.e. - you can have a ringer for softball and be slowing recruiting at the same time....)

[summer_gphib]

This is probably not going to be a popular response, but have you all thought about starting a health and wellness program? If many of your members are truly overweight, do something about it. Do some aerobic classes together and make them fun! Even more important than your stereotype would be the general wellness of the group. Do intramurals, and other activities. Encourage healthy eating. Make it FUN (not the stupid image of fat circling) and do it for the right reasons-- to be healthy!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by summer_gphib

This is probably not going to be a popular response, but have you all thought about starting a health and wellness program? If many of your members are truly overweight, do something about it. Do some aerobic classes together and make them fun! Even more important than your stereotype would be the general wellness of the group. Do intramurals, and other activities. Encourage healthy eating. Make it FUN (not the stupid image of fat circling) and do it for the right reasons-- to be healthy!

I doubt many of the members are truly overweight. Having 5 fat women in a chapter of 100 is enough to get the reputation.

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I doubt many of the members are truly overweight. Having 5 fat women in a chapter of 100 is enough to get the reputation.

That kind of reputation doesn't really have anything to do with girls who are overweight and more to do with a campus with a sick Greek system. Think "Mean Girls." Someone out there started this. Why? To reinforce their own position, to make themselves feel superior? That was the best they could come up with.

Don't play their game. The smallest chapter can fall victim to this and girls start blaming each other. Who died and made them the cool girls? Be the nicest or the smartest or the sweetest girls out there, and no one will believe them when they talk smack.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I doubt many of the members are truly overweight. Having 5 fat women in a chapter of 100 is enough to get the reputation.

This is what I tend to notice in chapters who have the "fat" reputation. Pretty much EVERYTHING in sorority stereotyping is an exaggeration.

It's never like XYZ has 50 women and 40 of them are the same size as Mimi from the Drew Carey show.

It's like XYZ has 50 women and 40 of them = size 6 or 8. Then 10 them are like a size 10-12 tops (or something bigger than the average-ish 6 or 8.)

Ergo, XYZ is "fat."

It's really funny, actually. Because the way people talk about the "fat" sorority, you'd think every single girl in the chapter was a burger away from a gastric bypass. It's all exaggerated.

Just like (example) out of 50 women, ONE girl in ABC drives a silver Lexus and has a Birkin bag. And you always see that one ABC in her new range rover that was a graduation present and you saw her being rude to the Starbucks guy one day before class. Ergo ABC is now the rich, snobby bitch sorority.

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

It's like XYZ has 50 women and 40 of them = size 6 or 8. Then 10 them are like a size 10-12 tops (or something bigger than the average-ish 6 or 8.)

Ergo, XYZ is "fat."

Maybe this isn't the case where yall went tot school (and obviously when you're older, you gain weight, so this is not relevant to alums), but here, unless you're 5'10" or taller, a size 6 or 8 is considered fat. In this case, "xyz" would be accurately labeled.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Maybe this isn't the case where yall went tot school (and obviously when you're older, you gain weight, so this is not relevant to alums), but here, unless you're 5'10" or taller, a size 6 or 8 is considered fat. In this case, "xyz" would be accurately labeled.

No, not "accurately." The fact that people at your school would consider those women fat doesn't actually make them fat, much less appropriately "labeled" fat.

It may well be accurate, however, to say that these labelers at your school need a reality check.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Maybe this isn't the case where yall went tot school (and obviously when you're older, you gain weight, so this is not relevant to alums), but here, unless you're 5'10" or taller, a size 6 or 8 is considered fat. In this case, "xyz" would be accurately labeled.

It's attitudes like this that perpetuate the unhealthy expectations. I pray that my teenaged nieces keep their heads on their shoulders and don't try to starve themselves into size 0 because, OMG, they are size 4 or 6 and teetering on obesity!!1!11!Eleventy!!1!

Some bodies are just made differently, and sizes are NOT uniform across designers.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Maybe this isn't the case where yall went tot school (and obviously when you're older, you gain weight, so this is not relevant to alums), but here, unless you're 5'10" or taller, a size 6 or 8 is considered fat. In this case, "xyz" would be accurately labeled.

I have a visual of your campus and, in addition to being a bunch of "high schoolers who happen to attend college," your campus probably lacks true diversity. It reminds me of my college days when the majority of the campus population used to form these informal rules and labels that tended to exclude those who "look/live a certain way."

The rest of us responded to that by not giving a damn and forming our own social groups which included NPHC GLOs. That is one way in which GLOs (through a supportive Student Activities and/or Greek Life Office) can find their own population to cater to regardless of what the idiots across campus are saying are doing.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Maybe this isn't the case where yall went tot school (and obviously when you're older, you gain weight, so this is not relevant to alums), but here, unless you're 5'10" or taller, a size 6 or 8 is considered fat. In this case, "xyz" would be accurately labeled.

Bless your little heart, I wouldn't know what "fat, older alumna weight gain, etc." are about, hun.

I'm 26 and am still shopping for jeans at A&F kids and have yet to see a junior sized 4

#skinnyproblems

[DubaiSis]

I don't think this is a bad response at all. We all know (looking in the mirror especially) that there is a pervasive weight problem around the world. I know back in my day, we were served a lot of beige food in the house. Non-beige food is definitely more expensive but much healthier! Try to instill good life habits now - regular exercise and healthy diet.

HOWEVER, this doesn't mean you go on a rampage and start blaming your sisters for not being pretty enough. Be supportive, try to add some positive behaviors into your activities, and make the most of positive change for the ENTIRE chapter.

[PizzaLove]

My chapter went through the exact same thing, so trust me, you can get through it. To second what has already been said, you and your sisters need to make sure you are putting forth the best presentation possible on campus. This doesn't mean you should downplay any members who don't fit a certain image. This means everyone in your chapter should make sure she is looking her personal best and wearing letters everyday. I mean hair and make-up done, and flattering outfits for whatever her body type. I'm guessing that since you didn't even know that your group had the stereotype of being "fat," it probably isn't even anywhere near accurate. Getting your members out there will show everyone what your image truly is. The most important thing is to show confidence always. If you are worried about people's perceptions of your letters and your sorority then do not let it show! People are attracted to confidence and they need to see that you have a real sisterhood with values that do not depend on how skinny you are. You and your sisters need to put in a lot of hard work by participating in campus events and being seen having fun (in a classy way of course). I know what you are going through, and I hate that so much emphasis is placed on appearance in our society. I know and understand that to keep a chapter going, you do have to focus on image to some extent, but remember that your experience is defined by the quality of the people you are with. 20 years from now, is it going to be important to tell people that you had really hot sisters in college, or is it going to be important to introduce them to the best friends from your chapter who are still a huge part of your life? Showing everyone on campus that you take pride in your organization is the key. Whether your members fit the "ideal" image or not, most pnms want to know that they will have a meaningful experience. So focus on proving that a meaningful experience will be gained through your membership. Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions or want to chat!

[WellWhatever729]

Thank you all so much for your answers!

HQWest and DubaiSis, all of your advice is awesome! We do try and be as visible as possible, but often it seems like the same girls doing everything all the time, which can get frustrating! The women we do have are incredibly passionate about our chapter, though, which is so awesome. I think as a whole we need to work more on being visible, rather than the same few girls doing everything, so thank you for reminding me of this!

summer_gphib - I don't think it's a bad suggestion at all! As another poster suggested, we are actually the smallest chapter on campus, so I feel like a lot of people like to 'pick' on us. We have maybe 2 or 3 girls that would qualify as 'overweight', the rest around the "average" or "normal" range - I do like the idea of implementing some kind of sisterhood exercise program though! Every girl could probably stand to be a little more in shape, and I am certainly no exception!

PizzaLove - thank you so much! It's really nice to hear other chapters have been through the same thing - even though you know it, it's still nice to be told it, you know? I'm sure we'll get through it, it's just really frustrating because it seems like we're doing everything we're "supposed" to be doing, and it's not making any difference!

I think a lot of our problem is that we're just trying to do the same things year after year, when we need to switch it up a bit! I'll definitely be doing some searching on here for COB event ideas, as well as keep checking back to see if there are any new ideas! Thank you all so much!