PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!

[LSUTigerGirl]

OK...I have a question for all greeks. Are your parents supportive of your decision to go greek?

Here's why I'm asking this question. Neither of my parents went greek when they were in college. When I was looking into coming to LSU I was contacted by the girls of Sigma Alpha. I was really interested in joining and I talked it over with my mom. She was totally cool with me joining as long as I didn't let me grades slip. Unfortunately, my dad was not very happy about me going greek. He had the perception that all I would be doing is partying (which couldn't be farther from the truth).

Anyways, here I am...in my first year as an active member. My mom is still really supportive of my decision. I think she sees that I really enjoy it and it's done wonders for me. My dad on the other hand still is very much against it. We just had a discussion of how he thinks my being greek is bad and that it's my first priority instead of school. I tried so hard to make him see that my grades have actually gone up since I became greek. All that resulted from the convo was me in tears and him telling me that I need to quit the sorority.

What should I do???? I love my sisters but I also love my dad. I don't want to give up the sorority and I don't want to disobey my dad. I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!!!!

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~A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition~

[DeltAlum]

Hi TigerGirl,

I have two daughters, both in their twenties, and a son in High School.

I don't know your Dad, but I know that most of us are just big teddy bears when it comes to our daughters. I'll bet that if you let him know how much your sorority means to you, that in the long run things will work out. Remember that he hears all the same stereotypical stuff about Greeks that everyone else does -- and maybe worries a little about his girl.

Tell him about all the good things your chapter does. Invite him to visit the sorority. Let him meet some of your sisters. Keep the grades up.

You said you love your Dad. Remember that he loves you, too and wants what is best for you. You may just have to help him discover what that is.

Good luck,

DeltAlum

[Allie_XO]

This is going to sound a little harsh, but you have to grow up sometime! It is a fact that your parents are not going to like everything that you do. Sometimes you will know what is really best for you and they won't! In this case you are going to have to say, "Dad, I respect your opinion, but I am going to prove you wrong." And then do it! Also, think about where he went to college and what the Greeks were like there. A lot of people think "the greeks where I went to school 30 years ago were wild and crazy, so they must be now" and that just isn't (usually) true.

As for parent's... well, frankly, my parents never gave a rat about what I did or anything like that, so I can't really relate to the feeling of parents interfering with stuff like that. But I hope everything works out!

Allie

[BrianMUDU]

My parents are very supportive. Mainly because they were able to get "involved" from the start. Since Delta Upsilon is a non-secret fraternity, our initiation ceremony was open to the public and parents/friends/faculty/others were invited. Plus we have moms'/dads'/parents' weekends, I'm assuming you do too? If not, that is something you should look into.

Brian

[Siobhan]

Many parents were extremely supportive (and still are) about my joining and involvement in a sorority. For starters my cousin was already in a fraternity and his wife in a sorority so we heard a lot of good things about greek life long before I started university. My parents thougt it sounded like a very positive experience.

One thing my chapter does every year right after rush is over is hold a parent's/family tea. While all parents are invited it is mainly for the parents of the new members so they can really see the benefits of going greek and dispell any myths or worries. Because yo have parents attending who have had daughters in DPhiE for sometime, the new parents can also talk to them and get a parental point of view. It seems to work really well.

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Delta Phi Epsilon
Delta Gamma Chapter
University of British Columbia
Sigma 1996

[33girl]

My parents (neither of whom went to college) didn't quite get it, especially the cost, but once I brought Masons up to my dad, he shut up.

Is your major something to do with agriculture? If so, then empasize to your dad that Sigma Alpha is not just a social sorority, it is a SOCIAL/PROFESSIONAL sorority. You are making contacts through your sisters that will help you throughout your career, and doing anything to upset or jeopardize those connections (like quitting) could have negative consequences for you later on. I would definitely also try to get him to meet as many of your sisters as possible. Good luck!!

I consider my mom really conservative. She immigrated to the US many years ago and eventually became a naturalized citizen. She had never heard of fraternities and sororities until I told her that I was thinking of joining AGD.

She began talking about my decision to our relatives who immediately told her to forbid me to join! I still live at home so to an extent she has some say over my life. When I asked her why my idiot relatives told her that, you know what they said? "WATCH REVENGE OF THE NERDS AND ANIMAL HOUSE. YOU DON'T WANT HER TO TURN OUT LIKE THAT."

I wanted to slap my aunts and to this day I still want to, but that's another post for the Chit Chat board.

Lucky for me, our Presents ceremony was the following week. Presents is just that, the pledge class is presented to the alumnae and our family. It's usually held on a Sunday afternoon, much like Sunday tea. There, our families got to talk to the alums and learn more about AGD. My mom got her questions answered and all her fears for my safety were put to rest.

Right now I think my mom is supportive of my AGD experience. I pay my own monthly dues, but she helps out whenever I need certain things for AGD (supplies for the car wash, collecting soda tabs, etc.). She loves the fact that I have so many opportunities just being being in this organization, scholarships being the most important since we are a single parent household. She even likes reading our Quarterly whenever it comes in the mail. She usually gets to read it before I do!


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"Talk doesn't cook rice."--Someone smart

Visit Alpha Gamma Delta-Delta Sigma chapter!

[bucutie02]

I am not in a sorority, but i do plan on rushing this fall. I have talked to my parents about the entire sorority thing, and when i told them about it they didnt really say much. As i started talking about it more they asked me why i really wanted to be in one since the sorority would only be asking me to meet them in weird places at all hours of the night..... <--- that was exactly what my mom said. They dont really know anything about greeks and all they do for the community- as far as my parents go- they just think you drink and party all day and night!! Even though they arent for me rushing 100%, I am still going to go through with it because if i get a bid then they will see how happy i will be and i think that will mean everything to them. As long as they know I am happy then everything should be cool.

When i went to Baylor my freshman year my friend joined the Rugby team and had asked my roommate and I to join too. Well, we needed to fill this form out and since i was still 17, my parents had the sign it. When i took it home to my parents my dad was like "Look, i have been researching a little more about rugby and i really dont think its something for you, therefore im not going to approve you joining the team". I was so upset because i was thinking, for once I am going to get involved in something and he wont let me!! Well, days went by, and my friend who was on the team started showing me all these bruises she got from just practice- and then i started watching rugby games on t.v. and was very glad my dad told me not to join. I wanted to join the team but not because of my love for the sport but just because it was a spur of the moment decision that i didnt really think through. I dance, meaning ballet, jazz, tap, etc. but i dont play rugby or any sports like that. I hate to admit it but im more of a girly girl than an athletic type.

Of course, being already in a sorority and joining the Rugby team are two completely different situations- but what i am trying to say is that your parents are always wanting the best for you and it seems like your dad is afraid that your grades will slip due to your sorority. You are already in the sorority- he should see how much you love it and how happy you are. I agree with previous posters on here- you should just talk to him and get your father to understand that your grades have actually gone up and that you are completely happy with your sorority. If he doesnt understand this then just let it be. Dont sacrifice your happiness just to make him happy. Both of you should be content- so let him see through the exterior in to the interior and hopefully he will support your decision of being greek!

Keep us posted!

[UNFSigmaChi]

Both my parents didn't finish college and went to a school where they didn't have Fraternities so they were and still are very against me being in Sigma Chi. They don't pay for my dues or anything related to sigma chi(shirts hats etc.) They say they don't support people/orgs. that drink. Im glad they dont pay my dues actually cause it actually makes me appreciate being a sig that much more. I see kids who's parents do pay for it and they take it for granted. They don't like the fact im in a fraternity but they are proud that im a sigma chi because of our christian background(that and my dad is a big John Wayne fan and my mom is a big Tom selleck/brad pitt fan...all 3 are sigs). They also like the fact of all the stuff we do such as raising money for CMN, Multiple Sclerosis society and soup kitchens etc. But when they see some of my party pictures they say, "oh we see what you REALLY do in Sigma Chi." That kinda irkes me but you can't win the Fraternity thing with my parents. That and they always say oh its just a college thing...it'll wear off when you graduate. And i plan to prove them wrong on that one too! :-)Just don't let it knock you down, just keep proving your dad wrong and eventually he'll see.

[BABELSUSA]

hey hon. Yea u know who I am. Let me tell ya my opinion. If you have any questions by what I mean about something, just ask me.
I know there really isnt too much u can do to say this nicely..but I agree with Allie_XO...that one of these days, you need to make your own decisions by what YOU want. OUr parents have been there for us, and yes sometimes they are always right...( did that make any sense) anyways....Its time to show him what WE (SA) are really about. Sometimes we cant please everyone..and thats the way that life is.

[amycat412]

Originally posted by UNFSigmaChi:
...that and my dad is a big John Wayne fan and my mom is a big Tom selleck/brad pitt fan...all 3 are sig...

let me plug my school just ONE more time.

John Wayne and Tom Selleck were Sigma Chi's at my alma mater, the University of Southern California.


Amy