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Gosh you guys I am really torn!
I was born the daughter of a sharecropper in rural Alabama. We didn't have indoor plumbing or schools, so I was tutored at home by a kindly older woman from down the street when I wasn't churning butter or darning socks. When I was 16, a new family moved in the house next door and after my family was done ridiculing them for their impolite ways, I made my first friend! It was a glorious experience to finally have a girlfriend to hang out with and discuss my secrets and hopes for a future filled with love, friendship and family. We spent many nights together talking about poetry and love and then one day she mentioned the restaurants. Oh, the restaurants. I had never heard of such a glorious thing -- a place where people from all walks of life come together to EAT! It sounded like such magic! Of course my humble family could not afford such indulgences but one day I did go into town and peer in the windows of various dining establishments. I tried to go into a few but when the staff saw my dirty shoes and mismatched plaid outfits sewn by my dear mother, they refused to allow me to enter. I won't let that stop me in my quest, though, dear friends. I will continue my quest! I am confident that somewhere in this world, there is a restaurant for me!
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A hiney bird is a bird that flies in perfectly executed, concentric circles until it eventually flies up its own behind and poof! disappears forever....
-Ken Harrelson
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