Quote:
Originally posted by alphaalpha
okay, so i am not in a minority, but i have experience with this idea in my freakish community. In some of the churches that i have gone to ( and have not liked) the women are all about "pleasing" the men. I mean, the group would be like 75% women and all the activities that were planned were centered around men, as in will the men like this activity, oh what can we do to do everything in life for the men. As a feminist i was discusted with this idea. I mean, yeah consider the guys, but since they made up only 25% of the population why were all the activities centered around the men.
I am just saying this cause i have experienced this, Boys good, girls there to serve boys, in my way to white world and just wanted to share another viewpoint of when this could and can happen.
oh and if you did not get this i am against the boys good, girls there to serve boys is not my view of how the world should work.
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You make a good point. "Being raised to serve men" is a stereotype of Asian women and "needing women to serve them" is a stereotype of Asian men, sure. Certainly in some cases those stereotypes might have some basis in reality. But I think that the problem is not unique to Asian culture. This problem is a gender divide that is cross-cultural. The white community, particularly the "traditional" white community is just as guilty here and perhaps MORE SO because they're not even recognizing that they have those problems in terms of gender relations.
It's BS to say that Asian men all treat women badly. Sure, some Asian men do. But white, black, Latino men, etc., etc., can all treat women badly as well. Hoisting that stereotype onto only Asian men is unfair.
I think the problem is more with the idea of a "traditional" family in which the man is dependent on the woman for the housework and the woman on the man for income from a steady job.
Anyone interested in an interesting project on the ways in which gender, ideology, and ethnic backgrounds interact in family life and marriages should check out
The Second Shift by Arlie Russell Hochschild. What she found was sometimes in families that saw themselves as modern and progressive were actually very gender-biased, and families in stereotyped, traditional, ethnic communities who purported to see the man as the head of the household actually had much more equal gender relations in practice. It's a good read and good at breaking down ethnic stereotypes.